This story is based on my life, my emotions and my experience. I know there are “other halves” out there that will be able to relate. Being a first time truck driver’s wife, at times when my husband leaves on a trip, I’ve experienced almost every emotion there is from elation to loneliness, sadness to worry. And I’m here to let all of the first-time spouses and significant others of over the road drivers know that you’re not alone.
No wonder there’s such a high “singles” rate regarding OTR jobs. I didn’t realize what love, trust, strength and devotion it took, until now, to keep a relationship strong. What a test! I’ve been through 3 marriages – the first two ended in divorce due to addictions and lack of trust and respect. But the third time’s a charm! I couldn’t have picked a more wonderful person if I wanted to, one that God placed in my life….it just so happens that he chose truck driving as a career (LOL). In my last marriage, addiction kept my “ex” away from home so I got used to being alone. What the missing key was for us was the trust and respect we needed to have for each other. Without that, it fell apart.
My husband, now, is my perfect mate. We have that respect and trust – a love beyond belief (I don’t just love him – I’m in love with his whole being). And it wasn’t until I started traveling with him that it made it so very hard to have him absent for a few weeks at a time. It’s so easy for me to slip back into the “old life” behavior and thinking, with all the emotions that go along with it, due to not having “my man” around. Having to be independent within a relationship and not losing one’s self is a very hard thing to do. Being a truck drivers “other half” is a challenge in itself. We’re alone, within ourselves, and having to handle “life on life’s terms”. Without the immediate help from the one that’s driving for a living, life again becomes a challenge.
I realize, from what my hubby has shared with me, that being a long distance partner for him is just as hard. Not being able to be here when he thinks he should be, to help with the “little things” that need attention. He’s been through one marriage before ours, while being a driver, and after 20 years it ended because of “the lack of……” (You fill in the blank…any reason will do).
I want to stress that what’s keeping our relationship so strong is #1 – communication. Then, what follows that is trust, respect, and devotion. These are very strong recommendations for any relationship, no matter what circumstances life throws your way. Job or no job – it doesn’t matter what you do for a living. Kids or no kids, no matter how many, if any. Owning your home, renting it, or homeless – doesn’t matter. I know from experience and observations, as well as my own soul searching, that these are common factors that bond two people for a healthy relationship.
Truck driving is stressful in itself, and my part in helping my hubby to alleviate some of the stress and worry in his life is to be able to communicate life’s situations, letting him know that he doesn’t have to suffer through the worry of not being here to handle it all. Again, let me say – communication, trust, respect and devotion. These are the same qualities that I’ve noticed many drivers I’ve come to know have for their jobs, and each of them “give their all” for it.
So with that, My Blessings to all who have “other halves” in this strenuous career, whether you’re the driver, or the one at home. My prayers are with you.
God bless……..stay safe!!!!
Sincerely,
Karen Smith
About Author Karen
What to say about me.....uhmmmm.....I'm an average woman from an average town. If you're looking for me to be rich in the monetary.....that's not happening. How I'm rich is beyond words. It's with and in the spiritual realm where my family and friends are concerned. If you're looking to find me physically beautiful.....you're looking in the wrong place. The beauty that I hold is in the respect of who I am; confident, respectful with a worth that comes from God. My thoughts, opinions and ideas matter because I MATTER!!! I live by a "NO MATTER WHAT...." rule to life. In general.....I love to go with my husband in the truck (gives me more insight for my stories) and I absolutely love to ride the Harley. Traveling......I'm not a house bound woman. Now, if you want to know more about me.....then get to know me!!! I'm just simple.....one of God's children!
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Karen – Thanks so much for this – I am a wife of someone who is new to truck driving – also my 3rd husband (for different reasons) and I am experiencing first-hand all of the things you mentioned in this post. I started a blog of my own (see website info) I’d be happy if you had anything to add to my posts from time to time! Thanks again! – Robin
my husband ahs just started driving trucks about 3 months ago and i will say i hate ot i hate it i hate it i am so lonely and sad when he is gone i think i am just to needy to be married to someone i only see 4 days a month
Thank you for posting these comments. My husband has been driving for a little over a year now and I basically found things to keep me busy while he was training and dfriving solo. Unfortunately I didn’t realize how hard this job is on him too and I don’t think I made as much of an effort to help him his first year – like I didn’t understand when he was calling me 5 or 10 times a day while he was stuck in some remote place waiting on a load and he was all alone.
I am fairly independant – this is my first marriage and I’ve always done things on my own but I don’t think I thought about HIM til now. He just started training so now I am only talking to him every couple days and it’s torture. I have all sorts of bad scenarios running through my head – plus he’s just different. I have been trying to trust that this was all going to turn out ok and take it one day at a time. I am now experiencing the lonliness and sadness because I used to at least speak to him a few times a day, now he’s not even responding to my texts. He was home a few days ago and since I work too we only saw each other for a few hours. I hope our marriage can make it through this. I hope I can find the courage and strenght to be there for him.