Comments By Stephanie D.

I do not work outside of the home. Our boys are 5 and 7. We are not married, been together 4 years and engaged for 1.5. We do talk and text pretty often just doesn't seem to be a whole lot to talk about at the moment. His life is driving now and my life is just the same old boring house stuff. I know that we will get through it eventually, it is just getting to that point that is the issue I guess. Getting adjusted. We both knew going into it that it would not be easy for the first year. I have pretty much been a raging ***** and I am sure I am not making life any easier for him. The wife forums say to keep it light and positive but if I can't talk to him about how I feel then who am I supposed to talk to? And then in the meantime I am just making him feel worse. The career is supposed to better our lives and I feel like my thoughts are dragging us down. I do trust him and I don't really worry that much about him not being faithful. Of course it's a thought but it's not a huge concern. And I am not even worried that much about his safety, I know he is smart and capable. Don't worry about where he is at or anything like that. I feel silly. I just miss my guy and need to find a project.

Thanks Errol! What does your wife do to keep busy? Have you guys transitioned easily? From everything I have read online I know that I am not alone but knowing you're not alone and feeling like you are not alone are 2 totally different things! I am sure it is not easy for you guys either, trust me I know. Unfortunately being able to rationalize these things does not really provide much solace.

My guy has been gone for a month now aside from 12 hours he got to spend with us a few weeks ago. This is hard stuff. Going so long without any money to pay bills while he was in training before he passed his cdl test, let alone take the kids to go and do anything has made me feel like a prisoner in our home. When we talk there are awkward silences because neither one of us really seem to understand what the other is going through.

I am trying my best to be supportive but there has been a major communication breakdown. We are finally in the home stretch of an actual paycheck next week and he'll be home for a visit in 2 weeks but I am already having anxiety about when he leaves again. We are getting by here at the house, the kids are adjusting ok and I've stepped up with the "house duties". I am just so lonely.

I've been trying to keep busy but there is only so much to do and then my mind starts to wander about a girl he was in training with and then we just fight. I am just ready for all of us to get into some kind of routine but at the same time I don't want our lives to ever feel normal without him being here if that makes any sense. Our relationship is suffering and I am scared.

I do trust him and I trust myself, I guess I just had no idea quite how lonesome this was actually going to be. I am sure he is feeling the same with missing us but at least he has his trainer to hang out with even though I'm sure he's sick of him by this point. I don't know I am just on such a roller coaster of emotions and I really am doing my best to get through this.

I have looked up a ton of forums for truckers wives and there is so much positivity to be found, but at the same time there is a lot of complaining, stress, and worry which just gets me worked up all over again. I'm just not sure what to do. I want to be the best woman I can be for him so that he is happy to call and happy to come home. There is probably no advice that anyone can offer other than the stuff I've already read, get a hobby, keep busy, love your trucker..

I'm doing all that and it's just not enough. I don't want to make him feel guilty, I know he is doing this to better our financial situation but at this point I am wondering if the cost is worth the eventual pay. Sorry to go on and on I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening :) -Sleepless in Ohio