Comments By Ithel

Merry Christmas to you, too. Thank you also for your extended diary. It's helped me to keep remembering the big picture. Stay safe.

Dec. 22nd and 23rd: The 22nd nearly finished me. The morning began great. I got to go out on the road again, this time one-on-one with a retired driver with 2.9 million safe miles under his belt. TMC has 4 or 5 people who ride out with learner's, rotating enough I'll probably have all of them at least once. This time my trailor had a load of concrete barriers. Unlike the previous day I wore sneakers instead of work boots and had a much better feel for the pedals. He asked what I wanted to work on and I said down-shifting. So he had me drive along a straight street with lots of intersections about 7 miles. Then we took some small country roads with rolling hills (hard to come by near Des Moines), followed by about 90 minutes of highway driving. I was out with him 3.5 hours before we returned for 11a.m. lunch.

The afternoon was hands-on load securement, and I very nearly walked out. The guy teaching this is exceptionally knowledgeable about the subject and I was glad to get going on this. Unfortunately, his pedagogy crosses well over the line from merely colorful to domineering and abusive. It is one thing to be foulin an attempt to establish rapport--it is another thing altogether to respond to a students' question on some particular with "Holy ship, batman! You didn't listen, you mother trucking sock pucker, get the sand out of your plussy, stop standing on your drick" etc etc.... while angrily showing how that thing is done. This was not just one out burst but quite literally the entire four hours we were with him. The set-up was actually very helpful: 4 trailors with 7 typical loads on them which we rotated through in groups of 4 untileveryone had taken down and resecured all 7 loads. But his demeanor was so extreme very few questions were raised after the first hour. This rubbed off on students, too, with some verbally berating others in their group. Many students were demoralized by this experience, myself included. I don't know how I managed to keep calm and focused on trying to learn this extremely critical material.

At supper that night I expressed doubt to a couple guys in my class about whether I was cut-out for this job, since I'd made so many mistakes that day. They were very encouraging, and we met together that night for a 2-hour study session.

Saturday morning we were back to finish they load stations we'd not completed the previous day. Hotel breakfast on Saturday isn't served until 6, and our bus left at 6--so no breakfast. We didn't finish the stations until 1:30--a long hard morning of physically challenging work with ears burning and stomachs growling. After a light lunch of packaged subs, we took the 77 question load securement test on computers. I missed one question because of a misclick. The instructor took us to the airport for rental cars, and I drove all night, arriving at home this morning at 5a.m. My family has been beautifully encouraging, and we will have a genuinely sweet Christmas together tomorrow. The day after I'll be driving back to Des Moines. I hope to have pre-trip memorized before I get there.

Happy Christmas all-stay safe out there.

Dec. 21: My last entry should have said 20th. They said yesterday we'd be driving today. I'd figured this would mean crawling around the parking lot--well I couldn't have been more wrong We did some brief pre-check conversation with the older instructor who will be working with us on that, then we were paired off and assigned to a truck. So the 8 of us went of in 4 trucks with 4 instructors. My instructor drove about 10 minutes and talked about the particulars of shifting. Then the other student took over, driving on 2-lane country roads between Des Moines and Altoona. The instructor had him work up to 8th, backdown to 3rd over and over. Eventually he had my partner park at a truck stop where we took a shortbreak. He asked if I wanted to take over right from there or wait for him to take us back to country roads. My first thought was to wait since it was a very busy lot and I wasn't sure I could even shift. But after the break, I heard myself saying I'd like to just give it a go. So my first moments behind the wheel were in the truck stop. I drove 90 minutes, and he had me drive back to the terminal through city traffic at the end--AND had me back in next to the parked trucks. I got into the spot between the lines but the trailor kicked out a bit near the end, so hot perfectly straight. But he said it was fine for now.

So.... THAT was exciting. The most difficult aspect of the driving itself for me was remembering to get the RPMs back up when downshifting. And I felt like I was starting to downshift in anticipation of stop signs about a quarter mile too soon.

After lunch we had an afternoon of classroom training on load securement. They showed some pretty sobering pictures of securements gone bad. Almost enough to make me wonder if I'm really wanting to take on such a heavy responsibility. But I'm still here.

Then late afternoon half the class went to do simulators and my half went back outside to do straightline backing. For this we were by ourselves in 3 parallel trucks (4th person rotating every 20 minutes or so). The cone path to back down was about 4 truck lengths long. I won't be winning any speed-backing competions but I didnt hit any cones the half dozen times I got to do it. After this we went to the simulator. They have 4 of these in a room. Don't expect these to approximate the real thing, but they do allowTMC to evaluate in a limited way how you deal with unexpected driving scenarios. Will you notice the pickup backing toward the road? Will you slowdown for the kids at the playground? Will you downshift for the steep descent just as it begins to snow? The value of these assessments Seems pretty limited to me for two reasons: first, the simulator controls may look like a truck's but they do not feel like one. Someone who could be an excellent and considerate driver in "real life" might not necessary perform well when looking at fairly splotchy graphics. Second (and this was me), after a minute of every-potential-hazard-will-in-fact-BE-a-hazard will make it so that nothing is unexpected.

Anyway, I get up at 5 again tomorrow so I need to sleep. Oddly, the last 3 mornings I've awakened about 10 minutes before my alarm.

Dec. 19: From 7 this morning until 6 tonight we were in class. I believe we've now caught up with all the items we signed off on Monday. We spent sometime plotting routes with our atlases. Starting today, from now on we keep paper logs so we can get in the habit of changing status. Because class went late their little cafe was closed, so no supper-- but I still have food in the room fridge.

Tomorrow the bus leaves the hotel at 6....the trainers have shifted the schedule a bit because our class is going to be 3 days shorter than usual....and we're finally getting out to the yard and in a truck. I have a lot more to write but I'm exhausted and have to be up early.

Dec. 19: Before I get too much further in this journal, I want to remind folks that this is a new situation for me, my emotions are mixed, and I can guarantee they are coloring my experiences. I'm quite sure my in....terpretation of what is going on around me will change as I begin to adjust to the circumstance and gain some distance from the anxiety. I thought about waiting a few weeks after the training to write the journal, but I guess I am hoping that expressing things real-time may be of use to someone else one day. Just please keepin mind that what you're getting here in this journal is subjective

Case in point: Is my instructor any less crude in his expressions today than yesterday? Maybe a touch. But I think I'm seeing someone trying to establish rapport with a bunch of guys who are probably more used to it than I am. So I ignore those bits when I must and laugh when I can.

Today's training was entirely classroom. And we've made good headway on those items we attested to yesterday. I am pleased. We had an excellent session on Hours of Service followed by a rather difficult test. A few questions were not covered in the session but could have been inferred from the discussion. We met a few other personnel and some familiar professionalism came back.

They are sending us home for Christmas, amazingly, on their dime. The downside is they aren't adding the three lost days to the end--it's just compressed.

The 8 of us getting CDL's have begun to call one another by name. - I.still feel overwhelmed-but as of today I am not feeling alone. The instructor even asked me to confirm a tax related question.

They also told us today we would be the last class NOT getting paid during the 3-week orientation period prior to the 5-week trainor period. So futureTMC trainees can look forward to that. They didn't say what that pay would be.

Thanks again for the encouraging words.

Dec 18: The day began waiting for a bus, 26 guys standing in a hotel entrance. I decided to wait outside. The training facility is a 15 minute ride away. The 8 of us getting CDL training went to a classroom for paperwork. Having spent the first half of my working life in academia and the second half as a selfemployed professional, it was a bit of shock to hear the instructor's initial interactions. For example: "I don't like people from that state. My ex-wife is from there and I hate that *****. " It was an eye-opening half hour--then we boarded the bus to go get physicals.

The physical went well even with 26 guys, very efficient, and a few hours later we were back to the lunch room and then class.

The first computer assignment was about 8 attestations of having received instruction or watched a presentation on a variety of things. None of which had been done. "Just sign them." I asked if we would be receiving these presentations later-"We've been doing this a long time. Just sign them." Well I signed--and I suppose I am trusting they come through. Even when they do, I think bending paperwork on day one gives the wrong impression of the corporate culture's attitude about rules.

We took three computer tests after this. One was a 60 question math test. The instructor seemed a bit more approachable and I felt less out of my element. I'm on the bus now for day 3

Dec. 17th: TMC provided rental car arrangements, and I left my wife and daughter at 6am this morning, picked up two guys in St. Louis, and arrived herein Des Moines about 13 hours after departing We lost about an hour driving back to one guy's house for his wallet. Note to self: never be that guy.

One guy I picked up had just finished his five weeks with a trainer and was going to Des Moines to pick up his truck. The other had his CDL through a private school and was going for TMC's orientation. I've got a good 20 years on them but I'm clearly the square one newbie.

Tomorrow is an early start and a long, physically challenging day. We'll be doing a number of strength and agility tests, as well as actual physicals and drug testing. I'm out of shape and vaguely concerned I will be able to adequately perform the necessary tasks.

As I'm laying here about to sleep, pecking away at my phone, thoughts of my wife and daughter are hitting hard. So much depends on this going well. And if it goes well, its going to take significant effort to make sure that deep bond the three of us share isn't weakened.

I feel very much out of my element. What are you doing here, I keep asking. I've got very few other options, is the only answer so far.

Just an update, no need to reply.

The reality of this has really come home to me. I've spent the better part of this week closing my office, packing boxes, moving furniture, shredding thousands of tax returns and cases of documentation, finishing up odd little house projects so my wife won't have to deal with them, and so on. I know closing my business is the right thing to do for many reasons independent of the decision to drive for a living, but I have to tell you it is really tough. Really struggling with feelings of failure, to be honest, as wrong-headed as that is.

Nevertheless, moving on. TMC is having me pick up a rental car in Lexington Sunday, drive to St. Louis to pick up two other people, and drive on to Des Moines. Amazingly, TMC is also sending us home for Christmas, then travelling back the day after. Here's hoping the agility tests go well.

I passed the permit tests today (100% on both combinations and air brakes, the only two I had to take to upgrade from Class B license to Class A permit apparently), thanks to your excellent prep material in High Road, Brett. I'll definitely be poring over the rest before I head to Iowa next week, as you suggested. I do plan to take the hazardous materials test, but that may have to wait a bit as I will be at the school before I can be scheduled.

One of the questions asked me to identify the angle at which glad hands are initially brought together. This was also in the High Road material, but I thought I would mention it actually showed up on a real test. I didn't know I knew the answer and didn't recall that it had been in the study guide, but since 90 degrees is the only one that stood out, apparently I learned it from High Road after all, heh.

In my county of KY (possibly statewide?) this test is administered with circle paper and a scantron. I've seen others mention their computerized tests automatically stop once you hit some minimum correct, but with paper you won't really have an option to skip a question and come back to it later.

I see the wisdom of what you suggest, Old School. Should I mention that I'm scheduled for TMC school when talking to other recruiters?

Thanks again for so generously sharing these study resources and for offering your insights. All this is very much appreciated.

I've been accepted in TMC's apprenticeship program and begin Dec. 18th. I have much to do to prepare---including closing and emptying the office in which I've lived for almost a decade. Because I have an active Class B CDL I only need to take the written test for Combinations and Air Brakes to have the Class A Permit, according to the TMC recruiter. I hope to have that done by this time next week.

My wife and daughter (16) are with me on this decision, but we are all apprehensive in our own way. For my own motivation, I've written a list of my business profit for every year on the back of a business card which I will carry with me. All I can say for these numbers is they show we have taken frugality to a whole new level.

TMC has graciously thrown down a rope. I am determined to climb it.