Career Change

So I have decided to venture into the wonderful world of trucking. This site has really helped me get a grasp of the CDL test. Now for a bit of background on me.

I am 46 y/o, Married for the last 25 years to my one and only wife. Both of our kids are grown. Son still lives at home but is 21. I have been a Correctional Officer for the last 14 years with a one year break that I was working as a Contractor doing security in the middle east.

Needless to say I am looking for as much info as I can find. Plus my wife isn't keen on me becoming a Truck Driver. Then again she didn't like it when I was the Transport Officer for the prison I work at. Logged over 100,000 miles in Two years and never left the state of Oklahoma.

I have a possible date of Jan. 14 to start at Prime Inc for my CDL school. Can anyone give me some advice on how to make it easier on my better half?

So I have decided to venture into the wonderful world of trucking. This site has really helped me get a grasp of the CDL test. Now for a bit of background on me.

I am 46 y/o, Married for the last 25 years to my one and only wife. Both of our kids are grown. Son still lives at home but is 21. I have been a Correctional Officer for the last 14 years with a one year break that I was working as a Contractor doing security in the middle east.

Needless to say I am looking for as much info as I can find. Plus my wife isn't keen on me becoming a Truck Driver. Then again she didn't like it when I was the Transport Officer for the prison I work at. Logged over 100,000 miles in Two years and never left the state of Oklahoma.

I have a possible date of Jan. 14 to start at Prime Inc. for my CDL school. Can anyone give me some advice on how to make it easier on my better half?

Hi Mongo,

I'm in about the same boat and hope this transition works out.

I've been in law enforcement for four out of the five years since retiring from the Army, and expect some tight spots but can't wait to hit the road!

Good luck, Rick

Welcome aboard Mongo!

We have a category of articles called Family Matters and they talk about life for the family of truck drivers, especially the wife back home. It's going to be really tough on everyone, there's no way around that. We also have numerous regulars here in the forum that have wives and children back home. They'll be able to help you out some I'm sure.

I have a wife back home. And I'm sorry to tell you, but there's nothing we can say to make it easier on you or your wife. Its a tough lifestyle.

I see my wife once every 5 weeks and for 4 days maximum. All the things I was responsbile for at home (finances, maintenance on the car, fixing things) all go to her because I'm not there to do them. Its a huge transition and she will have to take care of so many more things without your helping hand.

When something is wrong at home I'm not there to help her through it. I won't be making it home for Christmas and New Years this year so she will be all alone on the holidays.

I'm not trying to scare you, but its very difficult for both parties. Its good that she has some experience with you being away though. But that won't really make it easier.

I do understand where she is coming from. You've been gone for a while and she probably just wants to spend some time together instead of you leaving all over again. She could be tired of all that. But work it out with her.

But its almost guaranteed that you've see her about once a month. Until that time of the month, you'll be missing her like crazy. Give this profession some thought, but come into it expecting it to be a challenge.

I plan on taking my wife along on my runs from time to time. Right now, she is for it. She has the option of staying home and doing whatever, or she can come with me if she wants. I have checked and there are a number of companies that allow the spouse to accompany a driver. So it would depend if your wife has the latitude to go with you or not. Some spouses are tied home because of family responsibilities. In my situation, my wife has the option of coming with or staying home. Now if she takes up a job somewhere, that will preclude her from riding along and I'll only see her as much as Daniel sees his wife. So it will just depend on what your options are and of course if your wife is even interested in riding along with you.

Thank you all for the replies. I had to call my recruiter yesterday morning to disenroll from the Jan. 14 class. It is all tied into the State and how we get paid. Going into a new career w/o a pay check for a month is something I can handle. But to get my pay that I am supposed to get is another story. I know I couldn't go for two months w/o getting my back from my curren job if I quit other than at the end of the month.

I will have to try and arrange for another class maybe in early Feb.

Brett a big thank you for the link to Family Mattres blog. I printed a couple of them off for my wife to read. I hope she can get behind me on this.

This site with the CDL study program has been great for me. I am now confident enough to go try and get CDL learners permit next week. Wish me luck.

Mongo, welcome to the forum!

Hey, I just wanted to jump in here since I am a married man and leave my dear wife at home while I'm gone. I think you need to look at this a little differently than you are right now. You are wanting your wife to "get behind you on this" and that is understandable. But having been married 30 years and been through it all, I'm going to advise you to try and be more understanding of her situation in all this and it will make all the difference in the world in how she accepts the inevitable changes of having her man gone most of the time.

What Daniel said is absolutely correct, all the things that you normally do will fall on her now. It is all the stress on her and all the fun and adventure on you - it's not a very fair swap. My wife didn't even have a clue about which day the trash needed to go out for the garbage truck to get it. All of a sudden she was doing things like feeding the dogs and other animals, taking out the trash, paying all the bills, and a host of other stuff that I always did without ever giving a thought to how it would affect her daily life when I was gone. I have a great wife, she would move heaven and earth just to help me if it was required. But all the burdens of home life fall on her now, and it's more than most women want to have dumped on them all at once when they already have a routine that's working nicely for them.

There is also all the unexpected things that come up mysteriously, like when my rooster realized I was gone and he decided he was the Boss around the place now. So he starts flogging my wife and daughter every time they go out to gather eggs. If you've ever been on the wrong end of a roosters spurs you know this is not fun! Or then there was the time my daughter called me in tears because her cat "Ralph" had been missing for four days, and she was sure that if I had just been around we would have found him by now. Geeez, she just about had me in tears feeling bad about my choice of career before that phone call was over. Oh yeah, and then there was the time a drug smuggler landed a stolen plane, which was running out of fuel, in my pasture and hid out in the woods while the Sheriffs department held my family hostage inside their own house until they found the guy. All these things and many more have happened to me while on the road.

I'm just sharing these things with you so that you will realize that you have got to be more understanding of what our better half goes through when we are away. The way you get her behind you on this is to have a genuine concern for her side of the story first, and frankly if she isn't up for the gig then you shouldn't do it. Your marriage needs to come first in your list of priorities.

I have been on both sides of the fence...I've been OTR driver, and left TSB at home...And I've been the at home wife, with a local driving job, and all the responsibilities of the home fires..Its a daunting job, and not for the faint hearted woman. Old school is right...we ladies like our regimented lives. We stuff alot of things into any given day, and it bugs us to no end, when something that used to be someone else's job intrudes in our little daily duties. So when you are thinking of the changes in YOUR life if you become a trucker...think about all the changes it will mean in hers. And for a statistic...Trucker drivers rate right up there with law enforcement for the high percentage of divorces...Absence may make the heart grow fonder..but it also breeds a very independent woman at home. Some women embrace the independence and take wing and fly. And some men don't care for their"woman" becoming independent ( even tho thats what it takes to deal with her job, the kids, the house, the car, the bills, the short paychecks, etc etc.). So of all the decisions you will be making in becoming a trucker, I truly believe that this is the most serious and life changing one. Trucking will change your life style...but the fallout can change your entire life.

So I have decided to venture into the wonderful world of trucking. This site has really helped me get a grasp of the CDL test. Now for a bit of background on me.

I am 46 y/o, Married for the last 25 years to my one and only wife. Both of our kids are grown. Son still lives at home but is 21. I have been a Correctional Officer for the last 14 years with a one year break that I was working as a Contractor doing security in the middle east.

Needless to say I am looking for as much info as I can find. Plus my wife isn't keen on me becoming a Truck Driver. Then again she didn't like it when I was the Transport Officer for the prison I work at. Logged over 100,000 miles in Two years and never left the state of Oklahoma.

I have a possible date of Jan. 14 to start at Prime Inc for my CDL school. Can anyone give me some advice on how to make it easier on my better half?

This is an excellent choice.. It seems to me there is no better opportunity in the workplace today than becoming safe trucking professional.

I am going to call the Prime recruiter in the morning and see if I can get a class starting the first week of Feb. My better half said that I seem set on doing it and that she can't really stop me. So I take it she has somewhat gotten behind the idea. Wish me luck.