Home Time Issues

Hi ladies I was wondering when your boyfriend/husband trucker finally comes home to see you- what is it like? I feel like my bed is not affectionate, tired, not interested in sex or any activities and overall like I am not a priority. Trust is not an Issue- I’m 100% sure he’s not cheating. We stay in touch daily- phone and texts and FaceTimes. He changed jobs to be closer so I know he cares about our relationship, but when we are actually together it doesn’t feel like that.

Sorry I meant bf, not bed 😂

Hi and welcome. Most of us here are truckers or considering trucking school, so not the same situation.

However, as a trucker i can say... hes EXHAUSTED. and you said he just changed jobs to be closer which means now his job is completely different from the last one. His body is adjusting. Plus how long has he been driving? That makes a huge difference. A newer driver can take longer to adjust. Or, local jobs are more.physical than over the road ones.

i wrote an article about relationships that the guys here thought was awesome. it might help you both understand the other if you can get him to read it too.

OTR Relationships

Thank you for your response. He’s been a truck driver for a few years. Not completely new. We met online and things were wonderful at first. I constantly doubted whether it’s me or him? Am I the problem? Am I pushing him away somehow? I don’t know. It’s hard to tell for you without knowing him as a person, but I assume tiredness and stress will do that? I broke up with him and I miss him like crazy and only after the breakup I started realizing that I might have been an it selfish.

Well those are symptoms of any relationship, not just trucking or long distance.

Only HE can tell.you whats goin on. but if you are the clingy type and annoying him, yeah hes probably distant.

but u broke up.with a guy who changed jobs to be with you??? uh..yeah sounds selfish to me. but for all i know he could be a jerk.

you really need you have a heart to heart with him. and you need to understand our lives are not normal.

but, you also.have to consider YOUR needs. some women cant handle long distance relationships and their needs arent met. it doesnt make you bad, just you have different needs.

good luck

Thank you:) I did not mind not seeing him every day ( distance was not an issue). I just wanted affection and quality time when he was with me and it felt he gave 0. Of course changing jobs is HUGE but why would someone do it if when we actually meet- it’s like he could care less? Maybe I’m misunderstanding something. I am considering reaching out to him and apologizing

Ok... im assuming he went from OTR to local. and local can be WAY WAY MORE exhausting. let me explain...

when OTR he could drive 550 miles to get to you then get home and need sleep. then could be off a couple days giving you all the attention you want before packing up and leaving again. trust me when i say 5 days off feels like 1. but with OTR if i get tired i can nap along the way or nap during loading and unloading. i can even tell dispatch i want extra time off and it doesnt count as time off. i can shower, break and eat when i want. some days i might drive 300 miles if im tired and others i drive 600 miles. if i fall behind on a load due to weather or traffic i can pass the load to another driver. that doesnt happen in local driving. he has to get it done.

now hes doing local...that most likely means that he is stopping at several customers per day, unloading himself, working 12 to 14 hours plus his commute to and from home, being forced to break when he has to not when he wants to, and STILL driving 500+ miles. And..he only get 10 hours off and starts over again. is he working 5 or 6 days? cause i have friends who went from OTR to local and realized they made more money and had more quality time at home when they were OTR. with local jobs some drivers never feel truly relaxed.

changing jobs is on the top 10 most stressful list. it doesnt matter that ita the same industry, he is learning a completely different position with a new company right?

but keep in mind...some men have affection issues. he might have forced himself.for "girlie" time...and you cant fake things for long. how does he treat you?

I sent a message on Facebook if it’s OK. Certainly don’t want to cause any inconvenience to you but since you know trucking life better than I do you might be able to clarify things:) It’s easier to chat there and explain more details, but if it’s not something you care to do- I understand and appreciate your help and input:)