Need Help With Issue

I don’t think there’s anything serious about this post at all, and I’m not the only one either.

The moderators here volunteer hours of their busy schedules with no compensation, and it’s a disservice to those of us genuinely seeking help in our new careers when they waste time dealing with trolls.

If I’m somehow in the wrong and this is a serious post, which I doubt, then my sincerest of apologies for the “cheap shot.” I am offended by the post and may not be the only one, which casts doubt on the OP’s intentions to begin with. Since the “issue” is almost completely tangential to trucking, it looks more like a troll just wants to stir the culture wars pot by watching people argue about it out of some bizarre need for attention. And that’s exactly the reaction he got, which I myself fell victim to.

So I’ll move on and in the future I’ll know better than to feed the trolls next time I see something like this.

Troll? Maybe, maybe not. No one can say for sure, so why not stick to the topic that has a lot of relevance to most people in the work force today. For sure, when the topic was posted we all put ourselves in the scenario of "what would I do?" Totally legit. I enjoyed everyone's take on it whether I agreed or not. In doing so we are able to form a more educated position that might in some way prevent us from crossing the line or being a victim (iron sharpens iron, right?)

As usual, Kearsey brings things to the table that most of us might not have considered, like overhearing an off-colored joke and being reprimanded for it. If you recall my earlier post, this same thing happened to a trainer I worked with in the mid 90's! It is certainly more sensitive now.

For what it’s worth, this is a very personal issue for me, because I have LGBTQ in family, one of whom is female-presenting and was beaten within an inch of his life and hospitalized. I’m not offended just for the sake of being offended.

Arguing over gas prices and who is worse, Trump or Biden, because of commodity taxes and regulation, etc., has a place here on this forum because it directly affects every truck drivers’ income and day to day life.

Coming in here and impugning an entire class of people as “absolutely disgusting” is unacceptable and has no place on this forum.

That's tragic, Eugene. I hope the perps get the full extent of the book thrown at them. No one should have to live in fear of their lives regardless of how we feel about their lifestyle. I do believe, however, that if you feel uncomfortable being around someone and if for some reason hinders doing your job correctly, then perhaps there should be other options. What I think is tragic as a nation is that we are labeling people who disagree with someone's lifestyle as hate.

Would I be able to train with the OP's trainer even though I'd (honestly) be grossed out by his dress and conduct? Yeah, I'm a big boy and I can get through it as long as I felt I'm getting properly trained to be a successful driver. Would I be able to train with a convicted pedophile? No. He would be so accident prone from his face falling on my fist that it would render him ineffective.

Ask for another trainer it’s not a big deal if your not comfortable

Hey guys, I’m going to ask for advice and be as respectful as I can. I’ve been a long time lurker and really enjoy this site and the advice you all give. I’m working for a major carrier (would prefer not to say who) and on my trainers truck. My trainer is 34 and has been driving for 5 years. The issue I’m having is he is gay, very flamboyant, and very emotional. He wears makeup, wears very short shorts on the truck, sometimes wears halter tops, etc. Several times he has flirted with truckers over the CB calling them honey, baby, cutie, etc. Its driving me absolutely crazy! I’m just very uncomfortable with this situation. He’s been a pretty good trainer but I don’t want to be around this for 30-45 days. I was raised with values that don’t support/agree with his lifestyle and I don’t want to be living with him in a box for this long. I understand I will have to deal with people I don’t agree with in this industry and that is just fine, but there’s a difference between dealing with people and temporarily living with them. Instead of being PC, please think about what you would do if you were in this situation and let me know. Thanks

I told them no on a female trainer and no on a a gay trainer they asked I answered honestly! No on the female trainer because my wife wouldn’t have it !!! If your not good with it speak up

Hey guys, I’m going to ask for advice and be as respectful as I can. I’ve been a long time lurker and really enjoy this site and the advice you all give. I’m working for a major carrier (would prefer not to say who) and on my trainers truck. My trainer is 34 and has been driving for 5 years. The issue I’m having is he is gay, very flamboyant, and very emotional. He wears makeup, wears very short shorts on the truck, sometimes wears halter tops, etc. Several times he has flirted with truckers over the CB calling them honey, baby, cutie, etc. Its driving me absolutely crazy! I’m just very uncomfortable with this situation. He’s been a pretty good trainer but I don’t want to be around this for 30-45 days. I was raised with values that don’t support/agree with his lifestyle and I don’t want to be living with him in a box for this long. I understand I will have to deal with people I don’t agree with in this industry and that is just fine, but there’s a difference between dealing with people and temporarily living with them. Instead of being PC, please think about what you would do if you were in this situation and let me know. Thanks

If the company had asked if you would you be comfortable living with a female trainer what would you have said?

I see no difference.

He is feeding off of your feelings gay and flamboyance.

Thanks for the replies. I don’t think good training for 30-45 days is worth me being this uncomfortable when I could get good training and be comfortable. I would be more comfortable with a trainer that has a bad temper than be in this situation. Also, a woman trainer would be just fine, I don’t care. I don’t agree that this is the same as politics and religion because your normal can’t see somebody’s politics or religion. You can definitely see this as it’s being flaunted in my face daily. In today’s culture with the SJW and the “if you don’t agree with me then you’re wrong” crowd I’m a little hesitant to ask for a new trainer when the reason is obvious. The problem is the over the top flamboyance, daisy dukes, flirting, and just the in general man trying to be a woman. It’s absolutely disgusting. If I say one wrong word to him or to my driver manager I could be seen as being homophobic. This ultra sensitive world we now live in makes things more tricky. I just can’t call my driver manager and honestly tell him how I feel. I have to carefully craft my sentences which is ridiculous.

Eugene says:

Coming in here and impugning an entire class of people as “absolutely disgusting” is unacceptable and has no place on this forum

This may be a troll but his perspective is a real one shared by many people. And this type a raw behavior is alive and ill in the trucking community. Don't know if you've had the displeasure yet of a full blown racist rant, including the n-word, on the CB but you will.

And this forum is a place where prospective drivers learn the good, the bed, and the ugly. So, to the extent that the OP raised a real issue someone may encounter, and his hostile feelings toward homosexuals, it does belong on this forum. In fact, there has been some good discussion on the subject.

I empathize with you about your family member, but to be frank, this issue transcends your anger at those who beat your family member and their kind.

While I believe this post is from a troll, it's still a plausible scenario.

If it's true, the only issue I would have is with any trainer, male or female, gay or trans, being overly sexual with a student in the truck as that would be unprofessional.

Your job would be to train and teach your student to be professional and keep your private life, private.

Good topic even if the original post is from a BSer.

I like the food analogy. People can't help what they like or dislike. I dislike tomatoes, but I'm perfectly fine with gay men. While I don't share some people's negative attitude and visceral aversion to gay people, who am I to assume their feelings come from a hateful place?

I dislike being around overly talkative, obnoxious, opinionated people. It doesn't mean I hate them. I simply prefer to stay away from them. If I was on a truck with such a person I'd want off that truck immediately. As stated above, I have no hang ups when it comes to gay people in general. However, if I was on a truck with what some would call an over the top flamboyant gay man, it would annoy me. Not because of his sexual preference, but because of his personality.

I understand-and it is unfortunate-that if a person finds it difficult to be around another person whose race, religion or sexual preference falls in the minority, some people immediately assume that that person hates the minority simply for being a member of the minority. No other reasons are considered.