Newbie Trucker Dad Giving Advice - And Stories

This is one very oddly detailed thread about another person. And it’s kinda creepy. If this is real- 😳

I know right? Yet the OP claims not to be a micromanaging enabler.

This is one very oddly detailed thread about another person. And it’s kinda creepy. If this is real- 😳

Exactly what is so odd sharing the experience my son has gone through. It is real. I am a very successful business owner that is very well known with a reputation of great integrity (words given by others, not my own).

I know right? Yet the OP claims not to be a micromanaging enabler.

You seemed to have fallen into some some misconception. I've tried to correct errors in your thinking but you are stuck with your ideas. We recently suggested to our son that he look into another company and I provided one job listing. Everything else for the past 13-14 has been 100% his own ideas and choices. How is that micro-managing? How is anything we've done an enabler? You have a few terms you seem stuck in using even though they don't fit the situation.

I'm an moderator of a forum larger than TT and I find it very strange how so many people come here showing disrespect and offering non-constructive criticisms. I had witnessed this shown to many other posters and am puzzled why some people respond this way. I am sure many haven't even bothered to join or post here because of such behavior. I respectfully as you to consider if your comments are really meant to be helpful before posting.

BTW, Old School, good luck with your eye surgery recovery. Hope it's not as serious as what my neighbor has had to go through repeatedly.

I’m not trying to be mean or pick a fight. I have two grown sons 31 and 29. Both are married one has two kids of his own and both are highly successful. I don’t know nearly 10% of the details of their lives like you know of your sons and we are close family. I don’t by this at all and stop wasting our time. If this is real... cut the strings dad you’re not helping your son.

This is one very oddly detailed thread about another person. And it’s kinda creepy. If this is real- 😳

Exactly what is so odd sharing the experience my son has gone through. It is real. I am a very successful business owner that is very well known with a reputation of great integrity (words given by others, not my own).

I know right? Yet the OP claims not to be a micromanaging enabler.

You seemed to have fallen into some some misconception. I've tried to correct errors in your thinking but you are stuck with your ideas. We recently suggested to our son that he look into another company and I provided one job listing. Everything else for the past 13-14 has been 100% his own ideas and choices. How is that micro-managing? How is anything we've done an enabler? You have a few terms you seem stuck in using even though they don't fit the situation.

I'm an moderator of a forum larger than TT and I find it very strange how so many people come here showing disrespect and offering non-constructive criticisms. I had witnessed this shown to many other posters and am puzzled why some people respond this way. I am sure many haven't even bothered to join or post here because of such behavior. I respectfully as you to consider if your comments are really meant to be helpful before posting.

BTW, Old School, good luck with your eye surgery recovery. Hope it's not as serious as what my neighbor has had to go through repeatedly.

This is one very oddly detailed thread about another person. And it’s kinda creepy. If this is real- 😳

Exactly what is so odd sharing the experience my son has gone through. It is real. I am a very successful business owner that is very well known with a reputation of great integrity (words given by others, not my own).

I know right? Yet the OP claims not to be a micromanaging enabler.

You seemed to have fallen into some some misconception. I've tried to correct errors in your thinking but you are stuck with your ideas. We recently suggested to our son that he look into another company and I provided one job listing. Everything else for the past 13-14 has been 100% his own ideas and choices. How is that micro-managing? How is anything we've done an enabler? You have a few terms you seem stuck in using even though they don't fit the situation.

I'm an moderator of a forum larger than TT and I find it very strange how so many people come here showing disrespect and offering non-constructive criticisms. I had witnessed this shown to many other posters and am puzzled why some people respond this way. I am sure many haven't even bothered to join or post here because of such behavior. I respectfully as you to consider if your comments are really meant to be helpful before posting.

BTW, Old School, good luck with your eye surgery recovery. Hope it's not as serious as what my neighbor has had to go through repeatedly.

You have to understand there are some folks who come in here and "pretend" to be what they are not. You have to admit that your story is pretty fanciful even for the second character. I've been doing the interwebs since 1993 and even to a forgiving person such as me this seems ... grandiose. But, play on. We'll see how this goes.

Look, I specifically said that no disrespect was intended AND please don't get angry but it seems I've struck a nerve. We are not trying to run you down or make you mad but ask yourself, why does literally everyone see it differently than you? You obviously know you are an enabler and micromanaging your adult sons life, you even basically state that in you first paragraph (you know, when you mention being a helicopter dad) and literally everything you write (including your explanations and rebuttals) makes it understood that you and your wife do too much and involve yourself in parts of his life that you shouldn't be involved in either because he has no interest in it or whatever. I am not stuck on any terms or any preconceived notions that you don't backup with every "correction" of my thoughts on the matter. I have no doubts that you are a kind, loving father and your wife is surely a kind and loving mother. I also don't doubt that you are a highly successful businessman and well respected in your community but that has nothing to do with this situation. Seriously, reread your posts and take note of every time you say we, I, us, my wife and I etc when it comes to decisions your son should be making on his own then possibly talking to you for your opinions. I don't understand how you can't see it. In you last post in the first paragraph with regards to me you say "You seemed to have fallen into some some misconception. I've tried to correct errors in your thinking but you are stuck with your ideas. We recently suggested to our son that he look into another company and I provided one job listing." So you say I'm wrong then again say WE. I guess I just don't understand your situation since my parents quit making my life choices, telling what to do and when to do it, paying my way and researching my jobs for me when I became an adult.

I will probably not respond again since you just seem to be getting your feelings hurt and either won't admit what you already know or just can't see it but unless your son has some developmental disabilities you are not doing him any favors by what you are doing for/to him. I'm of course just able to go with what I see in what you write so if I happen to be wrong then you have my sincere apology as I'm not trying to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. What I've written to you has had absolutely no disrespect intended however nothing I've said has been non-constructive, I have given solid, constructive advice based on exactly what you wrote, I feel like you are feeling attacked because deep down you know I'm right. Best of luck to you and you family.

This is one very oddly detailed thread about another person. And it’s kinda creepy. If this is real- 😳

AGREED!!!

p>

Are you having fun as we do our best to take you seriously? Yes, as O. S. points out, we take nearly every post at face value, even the one from an exotic dancer who wanted change careers and get into trucking.

.

Hahahh the half naked woman who told.me I am a horrible trainer and Brett should ban me! Omg.. Thanks for the laugh. I almost forgot about her.

Harvey...most of that is just trucking. We deal with this stuff everyday. Perhaps Jay is over dramatizing it...or you are because of your love for your son. The assault...that confused me as you wrote it because first you said they were parked....then you said he had to pull into a truck stop. If he got punched. Why did he not jump out of the truck and called 911 and the company at that moment?

It sounds as though Jay needs to grow up and be a man. Mommy and Daddy shouldn't have to do research or pay for school or find companies for him. Sorry.

Have him join and we can help. Sounds like he was at Werner where we had contacts that may have been able to help. Perhaps he could give us a chance next time.

Good luck and enjoy the empty nest.. Spend a romantic weekend with your wife and stop worrying about your son. He will be fine.

BTW....not all companies have APUs and inverters. They all have heaters though. You can buy an inverter at the truck stop Strong enough for certain things.

He should have known that before going to the company.

APU:

Auxiliary Power Unit

On tractor trailers, and APU is a small diesel engine that powers a heat and air conditioning unit while charging the truck's main batteries at the same time. This allows the driver to remain comfortable in the cab and have access to electric power without running the main truck engine.

Having an APU helps save money in fuel costs and saves wear and tear on the main engine, though they tend to be expensive to install and maintain. Therefore only a very small percentage of the trucks on the road today come equipped with an APU.

APUs:

Auxiliary Power Unit

On tractor trailers, and APU is a small diesel engine that powers a heat and air conditioning unit while charging the truck's main batteries at the same time. This allows the driver to remain comfortable in the cab and have access to electric power without running the main truck engine.

Having an APU helps save money in fuel costs and saves wear and tear on the main engine, though they tend to be expensive to install and maintain. Therefore only a very small percentage of the trucks on the road today come equipped with an APU.

Jared, your situation is very different. Our son is a lot younger and lives at home still, no need for his own place when he plans to be on the road most of the time (12/2 at new job). Your sons are older, married, have families of their own and it would be creepy if you knew as much of what they were doing every week.

Our son will be home tonight and, of naturally, he will share generally how things went when we sit down for dinner. No strings involved, just sharing. My dad lived at home with several other siblings until he got married in his thirties. Close family, everybody knew what others were up to. If that creeps you out, sorry, but that is a close family and that should be more normal.

Genetic testing has shown that I'm likely to have an above average memory of events and I have found that to be the case. So I remember the various things Jay has shared over the past 14 months when coming home from training, OTR , dedicated routes.

I think the fact you're involved and attentive to your son is pretty cool. Up to a point I'd probably argue over attentiveness is better than under.

You keep making excuses or dodging the point as to why he doesn't join us here himself. Get that information first hand... and this place doesn't really count as social media as such. It's by and large an educational resource.

I consult my parents frequently (sometimes three or four times a week) but they encouraged me when I was younger to always verify information, and after a few years of not listening that stuck. Even if you are relaying anything we say to him with 100% accuracy (which I doubt)... you are doing him absolutely Zero favors. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

This is not a field for people who are, fundamentally, incapable or unwilling to seek out information first hand. Contacting customers, checking directions via multiple methods, multiple weather apps. I have at least three drivers I can contact personally (to say nothing of this forum) who have been driving as long as I've been alive (give or take five years). Relying on my parents to relay information about a field they are inexperienced in, when the information I can access directly impacts my paycheck, that's not a sound business strategy. You claim you're a successful businessperson... would you sit there and take make-or-break information from a person unfamiliar with your field?

So, TL;DR: to go all the way back to your first paragraph of your first post? Your advice is not sound. It has, through probably a combination of luck and a little common sense, not fatally damaged his career, but that's a long game to try playing when there are established methods for success, communicated through this forum on a daily basis.