Comments By TruckerSpeir

Awesome! You can do this, Ed! I know what helped me pass all three skills tests was to be super calm the day of the test, not allow anybody to tell me anything good or bad, no advice, no instruction--just be laser-focused on being calm and collected. For me. May be different for you, but I know just watching people out there testing I saw it over and over again, nerves getting the better of them. They do great and then get nervous and begin overthinking and miss something simple. Once I got the nerves mastered it was the easiest thing in the world.

I also wrote down the backing maneuvers the night before. I don't know how you learned, but we had points of reference--i.e., turn hard left, reverse, look for landing gear, countersteer...etc. I wrote them down over and over until I knew them by heart.

Anyway, I'm sure you've got this covered. Man, good luck out there. :-)

Thanks, G-town and Ed for the advice. I have been so tired over the past few days after my shift that I haven't been up for much more than sleep. I'm getting used to the long drives, though!

I had something of a come to Jesus talk with my trainer on Tuesday and things did improve quite a bit afterward. Still no trip planning--will get to that in a moment--but he's doing things by the book finally. It hasn't been flowers and candy canes, unfortunately. Today during my shift I had to drive what he said was 480 miles to get to the receiver, and when 525 miles later my clock ran out and we were still 80 miles away he asked me sarcastically what we should tell the FM when we're late. I told him that he could tell him whatever he chooses...doesn't matter to me. But I'd suggest that you start with your poor trip planning skills.

It didn't go over well. And it didn't help that today when stopping for my thirty the Petro didn't have a sign directing me to the proper entrance, so I had to go miles outside of my way and eventually into a farmer's field to turn around...the farmer was cool with it, but my trainer woke up and oh man all hell broke loose. He ended up cussing me out, and I ended up yelling at him, and he quickly apologized. I never yell, ask my wife...I just don't ever get angry. This guy, though...

So, shoot, yeah it's easy to say get another trainer, but I'm just west of Chicago. Yesterday I was in New Jersey, the day before in Tennessee. I don't understand the logistics of switching so far from the terminal, and in truth I don't know what I'd tell the FM my reason was that didn't sound childish. "He yells at me. He didn't keep his word. We don't get along." In truth, I have moments where I like the guy, and the reality is I have zero desire to use the things that are more serious as reasons to trade trainers because I do not wish to get him in trouble.

But, hey, I hate that this diary has taken such a negative turn. The reality is, hardships have two possible outcomes: They tear us down or build us up. My trainer doesn't determine those outcomes, I do, and I'm using this to learn patience, kindness, forgiveness, self control, and so on. I think if somebody who is considering getting into this industry is reading this, I hope that's what they'll take out of it -- sure, my training experience has seriously been rocky, but man I've been killing it out here. I navigated the New Jersey Turnpike by myself yesterday, saw NYC in the distance, drove through the outskirts of Chicago today...and just a few weeks ago I knew absolutely nothing about driving a truck! Training is brief and fleeting, though it certainly doesn't feel like it in the moment. Soon things look up.

And I have a sleep study scheduled on October 5th in Springfield. If I can find a way, I may try to peacefully part ways for the remainder of my TNT phase.

Geez Paul, this is getting messy. Two questions:

- why isn't your trainer teaching you and allowing you to practice basic trip planning?

- why isn't your trainer teaching you Qualcomm communication?

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To answer these questions, as for trip planning--he doesn't trip plan. It appears that he gets a load, accepts it, puts the address in his GPS and then begins driving. I've watched him and can't figure any qualification for the acceptance of the loads and I can't see any other planning involved in the trip. As you can imagine, this leads to problems. Our first trip was impossible for us to complete, so we had to repower and switch off with a different driver, which took us west--a lot of miles for very little money (yes, he's a lease operator), a fact he complained about often. The trip out west was fraught with difficulties, a reason they typically do not send PSD students out west (or so I'm told), but as that first load was going to be extremely late the dispatcher did the best he could. Now, that first load should not have been offered to us, but if he had properly planned the trip he would have realized that it was impossible immediately, rather than ten hours after we picked it up.

This load we're on now is another example. If I were on it I would not have stopped at home so soon after having hometime simply because I was a day ahead of schedule. Understand, I loved the extra time and appreciate it, but it is indicative of larger operating issues in my eyes. Yesterday afternoon the dispatch sent a message saying they would speak with the receiver to get our appt pushed up. This morning the dispatcher sent a message saying, "Well, I guess you didn't want to deliver early after all." I would have pushed hard, gotten there early while negotiating an early delivery and continued on down the road.

So, double standards, which goes to the Qualcomm issue. I don't know why he doesn't want me learning the GPS, but he does show me the macros and insists I enter my own logs--but just enter them they way he wants them done, which is often against policy. He bends the rules on the logbooks, among many other things, in an effort to make more money, but doesn't plan ahead to really maximize his potential revenue. I don't get it at all.

And I feel guilty talking about this dude behind his back, so possibly I'm in the wrong by mentioning this stuff. But advice is always good. I appreciate it very much.

I know it may seem that I've complained a lot about my trainer, but this is just the tip of the iceberg. Most sounds petty when said aloud so I leave it alone. Training is hard for everyone involved, I get that.

GTown I always appreciate your wisdom. This helps narrow down what I should speak to him about. In truth I hate confrontations, drama, etc., would far prefer to not rock the boat. But the boat is about to capsize, so now it's time to begin righting it.

In my view I have three options: 1., talk to him about the big three issues (trip planning, doing everything by the book, and reassessing boundaries and expectations) in hopes of coming to an understanding. 2., talk to my fm and transfer to a new trainer. Or 3., study what I am missing on my own time and let him do things as he pleases.

1 might lead to 2, but 2 can't be done without 1, and 3 will only lead to more frustration, an inadequate training and future students who are poorly trained.

So I guess I have my answer.

Home time was wonderful, but I absolutely understand the policy to not allow students to go home at this phase. The desire to quit was the strongest it had been to this point. Getting on that truck with my three girls crying and begging me to stay was tough, but I did it.

We left the truck stop in Oklahoma City at 9:00pm and I immediately started my ten hour break and slept. My trainer delivered, waited for the unload, then headed toward Cactus, Texas to pick up our new load.

I expected that drive to be a max of five hours, so we should have arrived at 7:30. But he stopped a few times, and every time I woke up and was up for a while before sleep hit me again.

He finally woke me at 6:30 and told me he couldn't drive anymore, so I shook out the bleariness and got going. Even with the stops I expected to be there no later than 8:30, but it was a guess. The Rand McNally gps was not working and so I was using the Qualcomm gps...not that it would have made a difference. I have been told to not worry about trip planning and to not play with the gps, so with no instructions and no ability to figure it out myself I have no idea how to work the things.

So I drove. Made one stop--the trainer stuck his head out and admonished me to be very quick--and kept driving. About 10:00 we finally arrived. It was a drop and hook and I had to slide my tandems. I really did not want to wake my trainer up...for my sake, not his...so I googled it and performed a successful tandem slide. He woke up anyway and took over.

I had put myself into on duty, despite his prior instructions to go off duty every time I am out of the truck without exception. When he woke up I was halfway through the drop and hook and he chided me for not being in off duty, changed it, then corrected the logs. So my 30 minute break was spent working. Then he proceeded to finish the coupling and slid the tandems forward.

He then set the Gps and told me to follow it before heading to sleep again. I spent the next five hours driving a two lane highway. Occasionally he would emerge to sarcastically comment on something or tell me to make as few stops as possible. I told him if I needed to stop I would stop, and he would grumble then disappear again. But I couldn't stop, the back roads of Texas do not have shoulders to pull over on nor are there trucker friendly gas stations. So I pressed on.

He came up to smoke a cigarette and told Me again how much we needed to hurry, so I questioned him on our trip. Apparently he was under the impression that we had to deliver on the 19th (it being the 18th). I told him our delivery date was the 20th, so he looked and said "Oh!" And relaxed. Then he looked at the gps and said, "why is this thing taking us the long way? We should have been on 40 a long time ago!"

I have dreams of getting a big map book and plotting my drive for the day and beyond. Gosh I'm looking forward to that!

I had no idea where I was, a constant state of affairs it seems, so when I emerged on i40 forty miles from Oklahoma City I was surprised. I stopped at a flying J on the outskirts of the city, as instructed, and asked what our plan was. He said to be quick so we could get on the road. I had two hours left and was beat, so I planned on grabbing and Red Bull and pushing the rest of my clock.

But a heartbeat later he said to take a couple of hours and have dinner with my family. Right then my wife called and it so happens she was in the car on her way to something. She canceled that and detoured to get me. Before she got there my trainer called and said to take the night and be back by seven. He would take the first shift.

I'm grateful for the extra home time and frustrated as well. Trip planning would have eliminated so many problems yesterday and given us even more time At home, which could have been pre arranged. And on top of that I drive all day while he slept, and yet because he wants to sleep all night I have to stay awake all night--eating into my ability to enjoy my extra home time(kind of a zombie)--so I can sleep while he takes the shift that was to be mine.

I know I'm venting. I question if this is an appropriate entry into this diary. But a real view of what training is like is good I suppose. As others have pointed out countless times, training is very hard. I have wanted to quit every single evening. When I'm tired it's by far the worst. I have to stop, rest, and regroup...and every time I find the desire to press on. Life will improve dramatically when I upgrade.

Congratulations!!! Glad to hear you did well today. 😀

Thank you! I sure was hoping to have more time to talk to you, but I got swept up in the moment. Hopefully we will meet up again in the future. Keep up your diary--I enjoy reading it.

Very, very true. Great post!

*question is

And, yes, the devil I know is far better! 😈I'm sticking with him. Thank you for the congratulations and the advice. It is very much appreciated. ☺

G-town, you are very right. I often contradict myself, mainly due to contradictory emotions. I think that part of the human condition. Mine, at the very least. I apologized to my trainer earlier for not waking him. I should have. I think these stressful times can often put me in a less than friendly mood if I'm not careful.

Earlier my trainer told me dispatch would not allow us to go home, but he found a way. I went about the process of completing my new hire/CDL work, and halfway through it he blew up my phone, insisting if I didn't come right then he would leave without me. I couldn't leave my work unfinished, but I took a break to call him. He got angry and hung up on me, then texted me and told me nevermind, we weren't going home, were going on another load. So I went to the FM and we hashed it out, then worked with my trainer to find a compromise. We are now on our way with a load to our home town. We will be there two days, which is perfectly fine.

So in the end it worked out. You know, I think our faults and imperfections just get magnified when under such stress. The quest is, can you man up and look towards the big picture, understanding that this is temporary? If so, it all works out.

Not sure if that made sense. 😀 It has been a day.