Comments By T.W.

Hey fellas,

It's been a long time since I have been on here.

In 2013 I received a grant from the state of Arizona to get my CDL license for free. I started trucking school strong, but after 4 weeks of being outside around diesel fumes, blowing dust, and pollutants -- it was enough to send me to the hospital with messed up lungs. X rays didn't look good and bad asthma. However, with 2 bouts of steroids -- I managed to finish trucking school with high marks 8 weeks later sick as a dog. Anyway, I am in good health now and pass the medical exams. I tried driving a truck - but this career is not a good fit for my health. I stopped driving and got a sales job. I feel way better.

I have this CDL license and endorsements and feel like its going to waste. Dump the CDL license or keep it?

This is all good information. The general theme is I need to get out more and socialize. All good points from everyone. I am accepting the fact it doesn't matter if a woman has kids of not--if I like her, then I like her. It really boils down to who you click with.

I am going to join groups I like to do. Since my time is spent in the gym I will keep doing that and join a fitness class. I also like politics so I will join a campaign to volunteer. I will join some meetups since I like hiking. Church will be something I will keep doing.

This should keep me plenty busy and socially active.

I am approaching 50, still look young, but I am beginning to feel uncomfortable with the idea of never being married and being alone. Society looks down on men like me. I never chose this path---just never found a girl I wanted to marry. Plus I don't have any good friends anymore. They all built their own lives.

It hard to have a social life while on the road or working from home. It is isolating. I keep in touch with old childhood friends on Facebook. Many of them are married, raising teenagers and surrounded by family. Ironically, some of my other buddies never married either. I thought of moving back to Illinois to be close to my childhood roots. It's a nice idea, but Illinois is falling apart with corruption, crime and high taxes. I began to think about places like Oklahoma or moving back to Florida. Hell I don't know.

I love my freedom and independence but it does take a toll on your mental health if you let it. I admire men who are self-reliant and independent. Some grow beards like Duck Dynasty and don't care about what you think of them. Sometimes I want to be like those men. I remind myself to be a man, quit whining and learn to enjoy isolation. (Only women need close friends, marriage, and a social life)

Today, I installed new brakes and rotors on my car and loved every minute of it. Just me and the car. No one to tell me what to do since I had full confidence in my ability. I need to stop doing manly things and get out to socialize more since its causing me to be a hermit. I just never liked socializing much.

I started going to church to try and meet a good woman and some male buddies too. I tried online dating for years and realized many women are just looking for money and are divorced with kids.

Maybe I should just enjoy my isolation and independence. Isn't this the way men are supposed to be built?

Your thoughts are appreciated.

Thanks The Professional. Its glad to know I am not alone. I know how it must feel to get a Masters and go on even further to realize there are no jobs in education or at least here in America. I know one Ph.D holder who works in telemarketing. I worked with him! Terry gave me very good insight as well as Errol, Brett, yourself and many other posters. I am going to put these tools to use and practice daily positive affirmations and achieve some goals. I can do this and so can you.

Errol,

Are you still unable to drive semis? Where did you sit so that you get so many fumes? From the exhaust or from the fuel itself? How about stop feeling sorry for yourself. Is the Sarcoidosis a lifetime malady or does it go away?

I still have my medical card and its good for one more year. I can still drive a semi. My physician is against it. Sarcoidosis is like pulmonary fibrosis. Lungs deteriorate over time--and pollutants just excels the deterioration. Multiple nodules, scarring, infilterations. They thought I had lung cancer. I am a healthy male, except for lungs. Never smoked. It might be genetic since my grandfather had terrible lungs as a farmer but it was asthma. Its so much being inside the truck. Its the truck stops where it turns bad. I cough my head off and just cant sleep.

Amazing posts!

Its interesting to note -- that I have lived in many areas you all reside in. I am from Chicago(20 years), lived in Daytona Beach,(3 years)Tampa(12 years), and Chandler, AZ(8 years) I ended up in Ohio.

Very sad to hear about your moms passing -- her passing helped inspire you about life and how to be more positive despite setbacks, struggling, heartaches, and death.

Don't cry for me son, my life is such a blessing. I've been blessed in everything and right now as I lie here I have all of my kids with me and I am nothing but blessed.

Amazing perspective on life.

I need to develop positive experiences rather than dwelling on my situation. Your mom's attitude towards death and acceptance showed tremendous courage and strength! Perspective is a incredible lesson to make me persevere.

After she passed and some time went by and my grieving lessened a bit; I started thinking about the way she handled dying. It changed me. I saw that at the end of a difficult life and knowing she was days away from passing, she did nothing but look at life and her passing as a positive thing. And I began to think to myself "By God if that woman could do it I can too." It's what she wanted me to do after she was gone.

That paragraph is gold.

She passed a lesson onto you and you have passed it on to me to rise above this and make something of myself. Perspective is key. Is the glass half empty or glass half full?

From here on out -- I am going to do it. I am going to stay positive!

Thanks Terry and everyone!

Hi Terry,

You rewrote the script. I like the positive tone. Attitude does determine your altitude in life. I noticed when I am positive then positivity comes my way. I am going to reread and absorb everything you wrote and see how I can apply it to other things in my way.

Solid material!

Thanks man.

Brett and Errol,

Brett once again, brilliant post. You are a writer with so much depth and knowledge. Great stuff. I like the goals you set out....definitely going to apply a mindset that if I don't enjoy it in some way -- not going to do it.

I've always considered my life a smashing success because my goals have been:

1) Enjoy myself no matter what I'm doing

2) Find new and better challenges to take on

3) Experience as much as I can in life

4) Learn as much as possible from all of my experiences

Errol, Yes, Sarcoidosis a lifelong disease that can stabilize or get worse. Its an auto-immune disease was diagnosed last year. Trucking is ok---but the truck stops tear me up something fierce and just makes it worse. Not worth the health issue. Not really complaining -- more or less -- seeing if anyone has gone through bad times.

I am 47 yrs old. All my life has been a struggle --- much like yours. Nothing seems to end well for me.

1.) I spent many years trying to get a useless college degree because I was hoping it would lead to a better paying job. It never did.

End result: Huge waste of time and money.

2.) I became a teacher and was required to take 1 year of night classes while I taught full time to fulfill my license requirements.

End result: 2 years later I was laid off and ended up losing all school credits. A waste of time and money.

3.) I thought truck driving was the answer because it is stable profession. I spent 6 months getting grants through WIA to go to trucking school for free. I graduated from trucking school with straight A's, zero debt, full endorsements, HAZMAT, Doubles/Triples and Tankers and a promising career. 1 month later I ended up with severe bronchitis from the diesel exhaust fumes.

End result: I got diagnosed with Sarcoidosis-- a rare lung disease(pulmonary fibrosis) that destroys lung tissue and I said bye bye to trucking. Waste of time and money.

4.)I decided to write and sell books. I spent 1 year and countless hours of research and writing books and they sell on Amazon.com.

End result. No profits. Waste of time.

5.) I wanted to learn to be a computer programmer so I could build a political website/blog from scratch. Place ads on it and make money. It took me one year to learn three computer languages-- HTML, CSS, and JavaScript. I created the website and it is up and running but its not making money like I had hoped.

6.) My car gets stolen.

I sit in my tiny studio apartment, broke, drive a crappy car now and there is no jobs out there. I should have just gone to college in my youth to study something practical but I sucked at long term planning.

Everyone my age is making 40k a year plus a year while I work two dead end jobs that pay $10 an hour. These are high school wages.

I am a smart guy, graduated at top of my class in school, have a brain, and know how to use it. I am worth a heck of a lot more money.

I am thinking of going to nursing school or be a flight attendant. But I am concerned my luck I might get some terminal disease in nursing or the plane will crash after being hired. Anyone get dealt a bad hand of cards in life?

I need a job that's going to get me a better standard of living.

Anyone go through this BS?

All good replies to make sense of the situation.

Brett you are right. There is a negative stigma associated with truck drivers---"fat, smelly, dirty clothes, greasy hat, and a big mouth." He fit the description and among countless truckers I have met in my life. It is sad because trucking can be a great career. I noticed it does attract a Type A personality. I am more type B.

I work for Budget Rental. This truck driver came into my store wanted a budget truck to transfer his cargo from his semi truck(Wheaton Van Lines) to a budget truck to drive into an urban area where it was tight. He thought the rate I was charging him was too high. He flipped out. He started yelling that he has been in trucking his whole life and my rates were insane, yadda yadda. I don't make the rates. The market does based on (supply and demand) which makes the rates go up and down. Anyway, he kept challenging me. He told me I was a cheat and I didn't know the trucking industry, etc I didn't want him in my store because he was getting too aggressive so asked him to leave. He told me "f off" and just had a bad attitude because I quoted him a standard rate of $200 for the day? I told him I had a CDL license and drove a semi a while ago and knew the rates for moving vans and drove OTR and knew the trucking industry. He told me " no man you work in this store!" you not a truck driver!" You don't know **** about trucking! I can get better rates elsewhere!" He kept getting mouthy with me. He eventually left ---- but why do truckers act like that??? Man I am glad I quit trucking because truck drivers are a mouthy, aggressive bunch. So many seem so angry at life. Disturbing.

Anyone deal with angry truck drivers like that in trucking? Seems more negativity and angry truck drivers than any field I have been in.