Profile For HomeHalf

My opinion isn't about men being offended by your article.

Women these days want to be treated as ladies but be a victim if someone makes an innocent compliment, smiles at them too big or looks at them too long. You can't wear a push-up bra and a low cut blouse and then cry sexual harassment when a man's eyes go too far down while you are talking to him. If a man pays you a compliment then say thank you and go on about your business. If what he says makes you uncomfortable then embarrass them and go on about your business. Either way give them back what they earned and go on about your business.

If I was easily offended in the workplace I would have missed out on marrying the love of my life.

I have always handled the money in our home too. Not because I am a control freak or anything but because as hard as my husband worked I just wanted him to not worry about anything else. He didn't need to know that I was making arrangements with the power company because we needed one more week. I did not want him to work so hard and still have stress of the other stuff. Or to ever feel like as hard as he was working it still wasn't enough sometimes.

As part of preparing for trucking school hubs got his own bank account. Not because either of us is stingy but because I don't want him to be out there and the money in the bank be changing on a regular basis. Today there may be $1000 in there but then as soon as I pay some bills there went $700 in a matter of minutes. I need him to know what he has at all times so he can be better prepared until he gets back home. Before he would get gifts at holidays and birthdays because I love buying him things but I would never give up the money for him to buy me anything. I didn't need anything. A dozen roses showed up at my door on Valentine's day. My first response was a text message to him that simply said "Butthole" He will never let me live it down either. "I buy you flowers and you call me names" He is a butthole but I love him anyway.

I changed diapers for 8 solid years. As old as my kids are that is still the one thing that I think back and say, good grief all the damn diapers I changed.

I was lucky that my sister did not work so she watched the kids for us cheap enough for it to make since for me to work. I worked at the same place as hubs also so that afforded us time during the morning ride, lunch, and the ride home together. When the kids were sick and someone had to miss work our boss always got the choice as to who was out. It was always me because hubs ran a bigger department than I did. Then suddenly I was called into the office and they told me (actual words) "You do a great job here but, you are just a woman with too many responsibilities outside of work. We have to let you go" That is when I became the homehalf and the hubs did all of the money making. He wasn't a trucker then but he would be gone for 14 hours a day, sometimes 7 days a week to make as much money as he could. I felt guilty. I felt like even though I was constantly working in the house and taking care of the kids, I wasn't contributing. The weeks where he barely had enough money left over to buy gas to get to work, much less for a decent lunch were really tough for me. Those damn diapers are expensive!! I would turn my own feelings of guilt into anger towards him over the smallest little thing. It wasn't his fault but in the heat of the moment I was just so frustrated that I would too say things that I did not really mean.

Tell your wife it really gets easier. Even fun!!! I thought I was gonna lose my mind when they were so small but now I love that my kids are so close in age. For one they pretty much go through the same crap at the same time so I can talk to the others about how to better help the one that may be struggling with an issue. And two when they finally were old enough to be self sufficient it all happened pretty fast. Now that they are all older I feel like they are the reason I can get through the hubs being gone so much.

Have a specific time in the evening when the two of you can sit down together and speak freely. The good, bad and ugly!!! Be open to listen to each other's feelings calmly and rationally. Know that as mothers, we are also human. Our kids frustrate us so bad but they are just tiny helpless humans and we tend to take those frustrations out on the big people in our lives simply because we know they can handle it. By the time my kids were preteens I would talk to the hubs at lunch and tell him to save some energy because he was going to have to dig four large holes when he got home. I was seriously going to choke them all out. Now they are all taller than me and that just makes it easier to pop them upside the head when they are being butt holes.

Talk, Talk Talk. That is what I always say. Don't let things boil inside until they become more than they really are. We as women are good at that.

Let her go to the store alone when you are home with the kids. Or better yet, try your hardest to have a date night. Date night doesn't always require money and a babysitter. Plan a late dinner picnic on the bed and a movie on a night before your day off. You will both probably fall asleep 20 minutes into the movie but that's okay. You will laugh about it later. One gesture like that will last in her heart and mind for WEEKS!!!!!!!!

She LOVES you for all of your efforts outside of the home and you love her for all of hers inside. It is important that you take care of being husband and wife just as much as mom and dad. We as parents have an obligation to teach our children that a healthy loving relationship is just as important as working hard and paying bills. The kids are going to one day move on to be great moms or dad of their own, and you still want to like each other when that happens. That is when the REAL fun begins!!! I promise it will come a whole lot faster than you think.

Hell I will give her my number and she can vent all she needs lol. I can tell her stories that will make her laugh till she cries, or cry til she laughs either one. Us crazy moms have to stick together!!!

No Rob don't disappear. For once I feel like I can contribute instead of begging for advice. Our kids are 16, 18, 20 and 22. I promise I have years of experience with the ups and downs.

I have to log in to work so I don't have time yet to say what I want to say but please come back later when you have time.

@Rainy----I appreciate the info on the wifi. And you earn every compliment you are given.

There is no telling what kind of gadgets they will come up with in the next few years. We still have an 18 year old that graduates this year and a 16 year old that has two more years in school. Hubs and I both feel that one of our greatest accomplishments is that all of our four kids have been able to have all of the same friends throughout school K-12. He moved a lot when he was younger and I moved twice during my school years so being able to give that to our kids was really important to us. I have to be here to make sure these two stay on track and graduate like they are supposed to.

Plus, I really think this is the his moment to shine. He needs to take all the time necessary to adjust to his new way of life. I don't feel like I am sacrificing anything really, just sad sometimes because I miss him. It has gotten easier to adjust these last few weeks. I think I will be able to put on my big girl panties and get through it just fine.

one of the things I look for that I don't find enough of is what do Y"all need from the homehalf? what can I do to make it easier for him. For the last 18 years I have always enjoyed doing everything for him and now he is suddenly so independent. I feel like I am shirking my wifely duties. I want to have anything he could want or need at home before he even gets here for home time. If anyone has any suggestions that would be great. I know he will be tired. I know he will be anxious about getting back out there at least for the first few weeks of training. Plus essentially living in a closet with a total stranger is going to be extra stressful. I just want to make it easier for him any way I can.

Thanks for any advice. Everyone stay safe out there

what is insane is drivers want to go local but have even less family time than OTR.

good luck

We talked about that too but honestly I am excited to be OTR with him after all the kids are done with High School. Local sounds like a grind that you are just hard pressed to get it all done and not enough home time to make a difference from OTR.

I read EVERYTHING I can that you write. You are so good at making valid points from both sides. (little bit of a girl crush) I sit here when hubs and I are done with our nightly video chat (my one rule is-I have to see his face at least once per day. Even if he is in the bathroom and it is only for 30 seconds) and sometimes I just read over the stuff y'all write, and sometimes I just cry and try to reassure myself this is temporary.

I really wish I knew for sure there was something that would give me a good strong internet connection even when the truck is moving. I can do my job anywhere there is a laptop and internet. The only trouble with it is that once I turn in my schedule for the month I have to work the hours I have promised . So "I am sorry, my internet connection wasn't good enough" will not fly. If that kind of internet ever becomes available I will sure enough be on that truck as much as he will let me, no questions asked. :)

I was going through some of the "Ladies" articles and came across this. It is so weird and reassuring that I could have written Rebecca's post myself. We are just now at the end of CDL school. Hubs has orientation next week and then on to the trainer's truck om March 11th. He did not get to come home last weekend so it has been 2 weeks. I took time off from work yesterday so I could go get him because I was so excited for him to come home. As soon as we get together I feel like I am on a clock. I know it will be time for him to leave again too soon and then I will be on another clock counting until he will be able to come home again. We have kids and I have work but the kids are 16 and older and have worlds of their own. I work from home so it is not like I am leaving every day and not realizing he is not here. I worry about how much to tell him that I am feeling and what I do decide to tell I make sure that I say I am not trying to make him feel guilty or blamed. I know that he is doing all of this for our family and mine and his future and I am sure to tell him so and that I appreciate it all. I am just the type of person that needs to keep my feeling out in the open because otherwise in true female fashion I will compound them into whatever they become when they stay in my head.

All I really want is to know that one day we will be back together on a daily basis like we always have been (working together in the same place several different times in our relationship, for the last 5 years at home together all day every day). That our living separately is really only temporary. If I know that then I will be okay. We will get through it I know.

Am I unrealistic in believing we can live okay in the small spaces of a truck after he is used to being alone? He says he hopes for this too but the last thing I want is to make him feel uncomfortable or smothered. We really enjoy being together all of the time but also are fine with each other doing our own thing. He really is my best friend.

Geez I have so many thing running through my head that I am driving myself crazy. I guess I am running head on into insane normal too. I just need to find something else to do besides watching the clock and days counting them off my life like they don't matter.

When I saw the title of this thread I thought it might be about the charitable organization DAM. It stands for “Mother’s Against Dyslexia”

The husband's class was supposed to take a trip to WI on Sunday morning and it got postponed due to wind advisories. Then while they were on their way on Monday, they got 240 miles away and one of the other students hit his head and opened it up enough to need 14 staples. They had to turn around and head back to the Terminal and the trip was off again. I know that being late is one of the worst things you can do in this profession but sometimes you just gotta wonder if things like that happen to keep you from being where you're not supposed to be. Who knows? I was always taught by my dad that you respect truck drivers. Stay out of their way, do what you have to do and get the heck on so they can do their thing, but ever since TruckerHalf started this I have a new respect for what y'all go through on the roads.

Please be safe everyone.