Profile For HomeHalf

HomeHalf's Info

  • Location:
    GA

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  • Joined Us:
    1 month, 1 week ago

HomeHalf's Bio

I am the home half of a new to trucking family. My job is to hold the fort down and support my trucker in every way I can. I sure hope I am up for the task.

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Posted:  2 weeks, 1 day ago

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A new trucker’s wife, on a rollercoaster ride of emotions…

I have always handled the money in our home too. Not because I am a control freak or anything but because as hard as my husband worked I just wanted him to not worry about anything else. He didn't need to know that I was making arrangements with the power company because we needed one more week. I did not want him to work so hard and still have stress of the other stuff. Or to ever feel like as hard as he was working it still wasn't enough sometimes.

As part of preparing for trucking school hubs got his own bank account. Not because either of us is stingy but because I don't want him to be out there and the money in the bank be changing on a regular basis. Today there may be $1000 in there but then as soon as I pay some bills there went $700 in a matter of minutes. I need him to know what he has at all times so he can be better prepared until he gets back home. Before he would get gifts at holidays and birthdays because I love buying him things but I would never give up the money for him to buy me anything. I didn't need anything. A dozen roses showed up at my door on Valentine's day. My first response was a text message to him that simply said "Butthole" He will never let me live it down either. "I buy you flowers and you call me names" He is a butthole but I love him anyway.

Posted:  2 weeks, 1 day ago

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A new trucker’s wife, on a rollercoaster ride of emotions…

I changed diapers for 8 solid years. As old as my kids are that is still the one thing that I think back and say, good grief all the damn diapers I changed.

I was lucky that my sister did not work so she watched the kids for us cheap enough for it to make since for me to work. I worked at the same place as hubs also so that afforded us time during the morning ride, lunch, and the ride home together. When the kids were sick and someone had to miss work our boss always got the choice as to who was out. It was always me because hubs ran a bigger department than I did. Then suddenly I was called into the office and they told me (actual words) "You do a great job here but, you are just a woman with too many responsibilities outside of work. We have to let you go" That is when I became the homehalf and the hubs did all of the money making. He wasn't a trucker then but he would be gone for 14 hours a day, sometimes 7 days a week to make as much money as he could. I felt guilty. I felt like even though I was constantly working in the house and taking care of the kids, I wasn't contributing. The weeks where he barely had enough money left over to buy gas to get to work, much less for a decent lunch were really tough for me. Those damn diapers are expensive!! I would turn my own feelings of guilt into anger towards him over the smallest little thing. It wasn't his fault but in the heat of the moment I was just so frustrated that I would too say things that I did not really mean.

Tell your wife it really gets easier. Even fun!!! I thought I was gonna lose my mind when they were so small but now I love that my kids are so close in age. For one they pretty much go through the same crap at the same time so I can talk to the others about how to better help the one that may be struggling with an issue. And two when they finally were old enough to be self sufficient it all happened pretty fast. Now that they are all older I feel like they are the reason I can get through the hubs being gone so much.

Have a specific time in the evening when the two of you can sit down together and speak freely. The good, bad and ugly!!! Be open to listen to each other's feelings calmly and rationally. Know that as mothers, we are also human. Our kids frustrate us so bad but they are just tiny helpless humans and we tend to take those frustrations out on the big people in our lives simply because we know they can handle it. By the time my kids were preteens I would talk to the hubs at lunch and tell him to save some energy because he was going to have to dig four large holes when he got home. I was seriously going to choke them all out. Now they are all taller than me and that just makes it easier to pop them upside the head when they are being butt holes.

Talk, Talk Talk. That is what I always say. Don't let things boil inside until they become more than they really are. We as women are good at that.

Let her go to the store alone when you are home with the kids. Or better yet, try your hardest to have a date night. Date night doesn't always require money and a babysitter. Plan a late dinner picnic on the bed and a movie on a night before your day off. You will both probably fall asleep 20 minutes into the movie but that's okay. You will laugh about it later. One gesture like that will last in her heart and mind for WEEKS!!!!!!!!

She LOVES you for all of your efforts outside of the home and you love her for all of hers inside. It is important that you take care of being husband and wife just as much as mom and dad. We as parents have an obligation to teach our children that a healthy loving relationship is just as important as working hard and paying bills. The kids are going to one day move on to be great moms or dad of their own, and you still want to like each other when that happens. That is when the REAL fun begins!!! I promise it will come a whole lot faster than you think.

Hell I will give her my number and she can vent all she needs lol. I can tell her stories that will make her laugh till she cries, or cry til she laughs either one. Us crazy moms have to stick together!!!

Posted:  2 weeks, 2 days ago

View Topic:

A new trucker’s wife, on a rollercoaster ride of emotions…

No Rob don't disappear. For once I feel like I can contribute instead of begging for advice. Our kids are 16, 18, 20 and 22. I promise I have years of experience with the ups and downs.

I have to log in to work so I don't have time yet to say what I want to say but please come back later when you have time.

Posted:  2 weeks, 3 days ago

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A new trucker’s wife, on a rollercoaster ride of emotions…

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Posted:  2 weeks, 4 days ago

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A new trucker’s wife, on a rollercoaster ride of emotions…

@Rainy----I appreciate the info on the wifi. And you earn every compliment you are given.

There is no telling what kind of gadgets they will come up with in the next few years. We still have an 18 year old that graduates this year and a 16 year old that has two more years in school. Hubs and I both feel that one of our greatest accomplishments is that all of our four kids have been able to have all of the same friends throughout school K-12. He moved a lot when he was younger and I moved twice during my school years so being able to give that to our kids was really important to us. I have to be here to make sure these two stay on track and graduate like they are supposed to.

Plus, I really think this is the his moment to shine. He needs to take all the time necessary to adjust to his new way of life. I don't feel like I am sacrificing anything really, just sad sometimes because I miss him. It has gotten easier to adjust these last few weeks. I think I will be able to put on my big girl panties and get through it just fine.

one of the things I look for that I don't find enough of is what do Y"all need from the homehalf? what can I do to make it easier for him. For the last 18 years I have always enjoyed doing everything for him and now he is suddenly so independent. I feel like I am shirking my wifely duties. I want to have anything he could want or need at home before he even gets here for home time. If anyone has any suggestions that would be great. I know he will be tired. I know he will be anxious about getting back out there at least for the first few weeks of training. Plus essentially living in a closet with a total stranger is going to be extra stressful. I just want to make it easier for him any way I can.

Thanks for any advice. Everyone stay safe out there

Posted:  2 weeks, 6 days ago

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A new trucker’s wife, on a rollercoaster ride of emotions…

what is insane is drivers want to go local but have even less family time than OTR.

good luck

We talked about that too but honestly I am excited to be OTR with him after all the kids are done with High School. Local sounds like a grind that you are just hard pressed to get it all done and not enough home time to make a difference from OTR.

I read EVERYTHING I can that you write. You are so good at making valid points from both sides. (little bit of a girl crush) I sit here when hubs and I are done with our nightly video chat (my one rule is-I have to see his face at least once per day. Even if he is in the bathroom and it is only for 30 seconds) and sometimes I just read over the stuff y'all write, and sometimes I just cry and try to reassure myself this is temporary.

I really wish I knew for sure there was something that would give me a good strong internet connection even when the truck is moving. I can do my job anywhere there is a laptop and internet. The only trouble with it is that once I turn in my schedule for the month I have to work the hours I have promised . So "I am sorry, my internet connection wasn't good enough" will not fly. If that kind of internet ever becomes available I will sure enough be on that truck as much as he will let me, no questions asked. :)

Posted:  2 weeks, 6 days ago

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A new trucker’s wife, on a rollercoaster ride of emotions…

I was going through some of the "Ladies" articles and came across this. It is so weird and reassuring that I could have written Rebecca's post myself. We are just now at the end of CDL school. Hubs has orientation next week and then on to the trainer's truck om March 11th. He did not get to come home last weekend so it has been 2 weeks. I took time off from work yesterday so I could go get him because I was so excited for him to come home. As soon as we get together I feel like I am on a clock. I know it will be time for him to leave again too soon and then I will be on another clock counting until he will be able to come home again. We have kids and I have work but the kids are 16 and older and have worlds of their own. I work from home so it is not like I am leaving every day and not realizing he is not here. I worry about how much to tell him that I am feeling and what I do decide to tell I make sure that I say I am not trying to make him feel guilty or blamed. I know that he is doing all of this for our family and mine and his future and I am sure to tell him so and that I appreciate it all. I am just the type of person that needs to keep my feeling out in the open because otherwise in true female fashion I will compound them into whatever they become when they stay in my head.

All I really want is to know that one day we will be back together on a daily basis like we always have been (working together in the same place several different times in our relationship, for the last 5 years at home together all day every day). That our living separately is really only temporary. If I know that then I will be okay. We will get through it I know.

Am I unrealistic in believing we can live okay in the small spaces of a truck after he is used to being alone? He says he hopes for this too but the last thing I want is to make him feel uncomfortable or smothered. We really enjoy being together all of the time but also are fine with each other doing our own thing. He really is my best friend.

Geez I have so many thing running through my head that I am driving myself crazy. I guess I am running head on into insane normal too. I just need to find something else to do besides watching the clock and days counting them off my life like they don't matter.

Posted:  3 weeks, 1 day ago

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Dam

When I saw the title of this thread I thought it might be about the charitable organization DAM. It stands for “Mother’s Against Dyslexia”

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Posted:  3 weeks, 1 day ago

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Dam

The husband's class was supposed to take a trip to WI on Sunday morning and it got postponed due to wind advisories. Then while they were on their way on Monday, they got 240 miles away and one of the other students hit his head and opened it up enough to need 14 staples. They had to turn around and head back to the Terminal and the trip was off again. I know that being late is one of the worst things you can do in this profession but sometimes you just gotta wonder if things like that happen to keep you from being where you're not supposed to be. Who knows? I was always taught by my dad that you respect truck drivers. Stay out of their way, do what you have to do and get the heck on so they can do their thing, but ever since TruckerHalf started this I have a new respect for what y'all go through on the roads.

Please be safe everyone.

Posted:  1 month ago

View Topic:

Preparing for CDL school is a family affair!!

Thanks Marc and Parrot. My TruckerHalf and I have been together a long time. We have learned over the years that talking things out is the only way to understand how the other is feeling. I used to keep my feelings bottled up but one day he said "you can't blame me for not respecting your wishes or for hurting your feelings if you are going to keep them to yourself and not let me know what they are" And that is true. People are not mind readers, say what needs to be said and get it over with. We rarely have a disagreement that last more than a couple of hours because of that very thing....it's over with.

Home time was good this weekend. He might not get to come home this next weekend if enough homework is not done but that's okay. School comes first right now and I want him to feel good in what he is doing.

After he left and I got off work on Sunday evening our Oldest Daughter forced me to stop putting off seeing a doctor and go to the ER. Came home after 2 breathing treatments, steroid and antibiotic shots and another armload of meds to continue at home for Pneumonia. Feeling better now for sure and if there were any doubts of my kiddos stepping in to take care of me with there Dad gone, those are out the window now. They have been wonderful.

Hope everyone is doing well. Watch out for Petra I hear she is gonna be a Biotch with the snow and ice. We are even getting the S-word in our forecast but it isn't until like 11 or 12 days away. This is Georgia, The Weather teams on the news show here are just Comic acts at this point. Take care everyone!

Posted:  1 month ago

View Topic:

Preparing for CDL school is a family affair!!

Does it seem pretty reliable? I guess for y'all the truck isn't moving when you are using it. For me, I would be using it while he is driving

Posted:  1 month ago

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Was let go today.

I always feel like I am speaking out of turn and butting in when I reply but I am a female and a mom so I always have 2 cents to give...

I don't know all of the particulars of your accident Marc, but I feel that in any situation accepting your own blame is first priority. If you know in your heart that your accident was at all preventable, had you just slowed down and concentrated on your actions at that moment, then you know it may not have happened. Companies are made up of real people. Accepting your own blame and showing anyone you apply to in the future that you are owning your own mistakes might just mean saving your career. Is pursuing a worker's comp claim or lawsuit going to come back and bite you in the butt? Is it going to show everyone you apply to in the future that even though you did get hurt on the job, it was something that could have been avoided. Just because you are entitled by law does not mean that it is the right course of action. Every potential employer you apply to in the future is going to ask if you have ever had a workplace accident. If you were a potential employer for someone in your situation, would you rather hear them say "Yes and I sued for Worker's Comp because I was entitled to it" or would you feel better hearing " Yes I had an accident on the job. I made a mistake and though the consequences were extremely hard to deal with, I took it as a lesson learned and I know it will not happen again. I would like the chance to prove that this is the career for me."

Again, I do not know all of the details of your accident so please don't take my words as an attack. Maybe the company has really done you wrong but it is not their future that you need to worry about. It is yours. Don't make hasty decisions and make sure you are doing what is best for you in the long run. I wish you all the best!

Posted:  1 month ago

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Preparing for CDL school is a family affair!!

Last day of the first week of school. Our first home time is here and I can't wait to get my hands on him!! Every night we have been able to video chat and his excitement and enthusiasm is the highlight of my day. I have to work all day so at least that will pass the time instead of just counting the hours until we go pick him up. The kids are off from school and work today so we are going to clean and disinfect the house before Dad gets home. Everyone has been sick most of the week and the last thing I want is for him to get sick himself and have to deal with that next week. Not to mention how inconsiderate it would be for us to get him sick and send it back to the other folks in the class. Oh well, just another thing to pass the time until we go. Y'all be safe out there. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Here's hoping for an early spring so all these winter storms and unsafe roads will be gone for a while.

Posted:  1 month ago

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Preparing for CDL school is a family affair!!

End of third day of school. I miss my TruckerHalf like crazy but his excitement and enthusiasm is definitely worth the time apart. He doesn't know how happy it makes me to see him feeling good about a job again. Loving seeing him smile. Only two more days until our first home time. I can't wait!!!!

Posted:  1 month, 1 week ago

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Trenton, OH Millis Training

Pretty sure my husband had to send a copy of his CLP and DOT Medical card at least 10 days before start of school. If yous wants to get in sooner then he might want to get those 2 done ASAP.

That's a great idea, thanks for the tip but he doesn't have the permit yet. He's testing next week! Will keep that in mind, maybe his recruiter can skip him in once he has it. April 1 dems live forever but it'll be here before we know it.

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I may be speaking out of turn but My husband started in Cartersville today and said there were several that didn't show up. Don't know if it is too late but it might be worth a call

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Posted:  1 month, 1 week ago

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Trenton, OH Millis Training

I may be speaking out of turn but My husband started in Cartersville today and said there were several that didn't show up. Don't know if it is too late but it might be worth a call

Posted:  1 month, 1 week ago

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Preparing for CDL school is a family affair!!

We have definitely done our research and went in knowing that there is no guaranteed time he will get to come home. I did weigh in with my opinion that I would much rather a few days at home if possible even if that means stay out longer to let them add up. Whatever is good for him is what we will do and we will be here when he gets home. Whenever that is we will just be thankful for it.

I do have another question though I can work at home, on a beach, in a truck..... wherever as long as I have a laptop and good internet connection. Is there any device or product that would give me that on the road? I know cell phones are iffy a lot of the time. I do get a lot of paid time off with my job (6 weeks plus can borrow up to 40 hours from the next year) but if I could do my job on the truck then I could potentially go with him some without using PTO that could be saved for family vacations. Of course I know this is way down the line for us. I want him to get his experience and feel comfortable having "guest riders" before this happens. I was just wondering if it may be possible.

Posted:  1 month, 1 week ago

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Preparing for CDL school is a family affair!!

I really appreciate you all taking the time to give me your opinions and advice. All really good stuff that makes it easier to understand what to expect. we have a really close family. We all support each other in just about everything we do. We do have four kids but they really aren't kids anymore. 3 Girls, 22, 20, and 18 and 1 boy, 16. All pretty much adults. And then my mother. We all do our part and Daddy being gone won't be much more than just missing him. Plenty of help to take over what his normals were. I am not as needy as it has seemed in my other post. I know I sounded like a whiny woman that can't live without him. I know why he is doing this and I know that if he thought I truly wanted him to stay, he would have. He would have done anything I asked. I just needed to get through all of the emotions and come to acceptance on my own. @Susan and Old School....we are really good at doing nothing together. I work from home and make my own schedule so sometimes I can go for 4 or 5 days without leaving the house. I am good with that lol. I have family close by and some really good friends too. I am pretty handy around the house too if you don't mind me bragging just a bit :) (too late if you do mind, sorry) I will keep the griping to a minimum :) He knows my mom very well and "grandma is being grandma" is enough said. I promise all of your advice has not fallen on deaf ears or blind eyes i guess. I will take all of it to heart and let him set the pace of what we do when he gets home time. Just seeing his face and being able to reach out and hug or kiss is all I need. @LDRSHIP.... I hope he does feel that way too. I want him to be as comfortable, at home as possible and have everything that he could possibly need or want in that truck. It will certainly be his home. No jealousy here!!! @Doug...It takes a special person to be in Hospice. We went through that with my dad last summer. Thank you for all you did for the families you interacted with. I know they appreciated it as much as my sisters and I did. @PJ...I am sorry it did not work for you and your wife.

Bottom line I guess is that I love him so darn much it hurts. I am not worried about us here at all. I want him to be happy and know that we appreciate everything he is doing for our family. I want to support him in every single way I can and all of your advice is priceless. Thank you all so much!!

Keep us in your prayers, dropped him off at the hotel last night for the first day of school today. I can't wait to hear all about it when/if he gets to call later!!

Posted:  1 month, 1 week ago

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Preparing for CDL school is a family affair!!

Thank you Gentlemen :) If I could only give one piece of advice for new families before you do this: Talk Talk Talk. Open your minds and your ears and let each other say out loud every single concern they have. No anger, no judgement. Just the truth. Then trust that their answer is the truth. If you can't trust that, then your issues are not just with the situation at hand. Sorry ladies but it is true that we tend to make mountains out of mole hills in our heads before we just say what we have to say. You can't do that when the other person is not going to be around when you finally get around to saying it out loud. Get it all out in the open. When I did that, it was like a huge weight lifted and I was able to join in and be excited for us. Okay sorry I need two pieces: Truckers remember that we at home are not going to change all that much. We are going to miss the heck out of you, but for the most part we are going to chug along the way we do when you are here. So when you do get home time, things that you may have been used to when you were here every day, might just drive you crazy. Kids arguing, homehalf yelling at them to stop, in our case mother-in-law being old and crotchety. We will give you space to readjust but we need you to communicate if it is too much. My big fear is that my trucker will start feeling like home isn't home anymore, but an obligation. Help us to help you not to feel that way please :)

Posted:  1 month, 1 week ago

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Over The Road Relationships: Are They Possible? - article by Rainy

Thank you so very much. Most of these points have gone through my head over the last few months. I mean it when I say I have been through all of the stages of grief in the time from decision to leaving tomorrow!

You said "A man/woman who did not cheat at home is not going to do it on the road." I already knew this of course, but it doesn't mean that the thought didn't go through my head. We have always given each other their own space. My trucker half is the best person I know. When people say to be with someone who makes you better, I truly am. He is my rock, role model and best friend. I have no doubts that we will struggle with the distance some but that will just make the home time sweeter. I know it sounds like hippies but Live, Laugh, Love really is the way we do things here in our home. No topic is off limits with our four teenagers. I am sure there will be more laughs than anything else to relay to him in his downtime. I am excited for him....and us! I've got my cheering britches on and ready to encourage all he needs.

I love your article and thank you so very much for giving it to us straight.

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