Profile For Amelia M.

Amelia M.'s Info

  • Location:
    Marietta, GA

  • Driving Status:
    Preparing For School

  • Social Link:

  • Joined Us:
    2 years, 5 months ago

Amelia M.'s Bio

Wife of a new trucker, preparing to get into it myself.

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Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

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First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

So JB Hunt made an offer and he's going through the orientation process now (finally got him home after offering to just drive a state over to pick him up). He's still going to see if CRE it's willing to match any of what Hunt offers, but I think he'll go with Hunt just for the vastly superior medical benefits. I get what you're saying about job-hopping - that's hardly a black mark specific to this industry - but honestly I think it would be beyond foolish to pass up an opportunity for better, stable pay and better benefits all around.

I appreciate the advice and support with such a tough decision!

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

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CFI Finisher Help!

From the medical end of the spectrum, talk to your podiatrist. Find out what difficulties you can expect if you put off the surgery and what you can do to minimize the damage. Poorly healed breaks or muscle damage in the feet can have serious complications later on and weight on the damage isn't the only concern - improperly healed bone and muscle damage are prone to worsening repetitive stress injuries. That said, being aware of it and using the right support devices and physical therapy exercises can mitigate a lot of the concern. So definitely talk to your podiatrist and explain the situation.

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

PackRat's 2020 Daily Driving Diary

Yeah Wal-Mart/Sam's club has been like that since at least the early 2000's, even with small vendor deliveries like my husband was doing. Very strict about who unloads and when.

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

I'll pass along the importance of not being seen as reliable if he doesn't finish his contract. That's another thing the recruiter said wasn't really an issue unless you were changing companies every few months, but again, recruiters. Someone actually hit his trailer and drove off while he was parked at Love's so he's stuck handling that as it is and stressed out so I won't mention it until he's calm and moving again. For now the idea of not being separated much longer is a bit of a lifeline for him. Either way, I know he won't stay with CRE past that year. He doesn't like the company and hasn't since schooling.

As for the rest, I'm not even going to bother engaging beyond this. Whatever it is you think you've gleaned from a brief outline, my statement stands. I'm looking for industry advice, not a commentary on what I should do with my marriage. That part is very solid and I resent, strongly, the implication that I cause my husband stress for personal reasons that I know, he knows, and you don't need to. How I manage my daily life is also between me and my husband and doctors. That is for my safety. What information I offered was by way of explaining why we'd even consider breaking a contract, no other reason. In future, I'll keep my personal information to myself, but please respect my wishes regarding what has been shared. Thank you.

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

Well, Rob, that's a lot of what I was worried about. He's been talking to a recruiter there for a few weeks and an on boarding specialist but I really don't know how much of what they tell him he should rely on. They say working around his home time and scheduling/location isn't an issue, among other things. I've already told him not to abandon a load, to wait until he's on off time to do the orientation and just be really sure this is what he wants to do and it seems it is. The separation is the only part he doesn't like and by that I mean it's causing him some serious anxiety. Still I'm pretty hesitant about him leaving CRE also - not because of the repayment but precisely because I don't know if he should trust what the recruiter is telling him and I don't want him to really jeopardize his future so I'm trying to get a realistic idea of how much danger of that he's really in.

He's also not 100% new to the field. He's done commercial driving between Atlanta, Huntsville, Miami, Virginia, Chicago, and even out to Texas starting from shortly after getting a driver's license. It was just with a small company and in a 26' box truck. So the vehicle is new, but the long hours, the unpredictability, the joys of receiving policies conflicting with driver schedules, etc. None of that aspect is new. Heck, he's even changed out trucks on the side of the road by moving the cargo from one to another - fine art. Trucks he loaded himself and unloaded himself so he has an excellent feel for a balanced load and the importance of one. We rode The Dragon in one of those things and we loved it - well, I loved it after the fact. Yes, I was his passenger then. I even drove once and it was harrowing. At that time he wasn't required to have a CDL for that job and so there were no rules about how many hours he could drive in a day or week.

I don't call him telling him how everything here is awful and he needs to be supportive it whatever appears to be going on in your head, Brett. We're partners. He's aware of my situation and I'm aware of his because we have very good communication and have been blessed with an extremely happy, extremely close relationship for all of our 19 years together. I'm happy for any advice and consideration on a professional level but please don't ever presume to lecture me in regards to my personal life and most especially my marriage again. I appreciate the resource you've built here immensely, but you don't know me, you don't know my husband, and you don't know my situation.

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

High Winds; Good Judgment

I have no idea how you guys manage it! When I was younger I'd pull off the road during bad wind in my Volvo because it was enough wind sail for me! One thing I've heard repeatedly is stay safe! No amount of money is worth your life!

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

Oh he has no intention of quitting unless it's after he's with Hunt. It sucks to do that but it's too risky otherwise. I know it would be much better to wait out the year and I really wish our situation allowed it, but you made a mistaken assumption right off the bat. I am in danger the longer I'm here. My mother has a very long and frequently updated history of domestic violence in relation to her illness. Fortunately it's gotten much better over the years and I've got a lot of practice avoiding triggering it or being the target but a year is a long time to push the risk again. Unfortunately, I really don't have anywhere else to go.

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

He's been on the wait list for several solo positions since he was with his trainer. It's beyond aggravating to have so little information about his chances of actually being moved into one and when. "We'll see" is just not a response we can plan decisions around which is the major problem I've been having with CRE on several fronts. I am glad to know home time that rarely in the first year is relatively normal, that actually helps a lot.

Unfortunately, even frequent home time wouldn't solve our difficulties. Essentially we're stuck at a point where I can't live where I have been much longer but the only alternative we could afford would be my living out of my car or an extended in patient stay which would negate my doctor's verification of stability. Right now I think I'm stuck holding on and hoping JB Hunt really does allow passengers as immediately as their recruiters say they do. At that point this truly becomes a dream job (he really, really, really loves driving and I really, really love maps and navigation and time management and planning, bit terrified of the driving but I can learn).

In any case this forum and all these responses are immeasurably helpful. Like few others, I think you guys can appreciate how incredibly helpful and, honestly, life saving just not feeling alone with a stressful situation can be. Thank you!

Your husband should be looking for dedicated solo opportunities on the cre career path on his toolbox app. They open anywhere from 3 - 6 months experience usually and you can actually get on the wait list while waiting for your trainer.

Dedicated usually pays much better then OTR with England

Dedicated has more home time options.

Dedicated usually in my personal experience has better DMs.

Dedicated has Solo positions, which is the only way you can ride with him.

Source: Been with CRE for Two years. Been on a dedicated account for 1 year 8 months.

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

Failed drug test

I have no idea why they told you Phentermine wouldn't show a positive for methamphetamine, it's very common for it to do so.

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

Oh, thank you! I hadn't even thought of that so definitely something to ask about. I do know you can't drive a company truck without being a company driver whether you have a permit or not, regardless of emergencies but I will definitely make sure it wouldn't disqualify me as a passenger before getting a permit!

Just wondering if it might disqualify you from riding as a passenger if you get your permit.Thought i read something about passengers cant have licence for most companies .Not sure if the same goes for permit.I recall reading a post from a drivers wife who hopped into driver's seat and drove when he had a "medical emergency".I thought she got pulled over and got a ticket and he got fired.My point is maybe check before getting permit.Good luck

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

Thanks! All good. I keep my stress as low as I possibly can and have rather good coping skills so my medication is very mild and was already accepted by CRE. I have no intention of training or driving with them myself, though. Honestly if they'd been up front about things at any point rather than giving us a run around, that would be different but I have 0 trust in the company now. Also, fortunately, both of my issues are easily managed with trigger avoidance and management (normally easy, anyway, haha). My doctor has already signed off and I have my provisional med card - the only reason it's provisional is because I have to do a sleep apnea study from being overweight which is another thing I've been working on. Logistically, I'm good to start a training program once I can afford the study and could go get a CDL permit tomorrow. I'm personally not comfortable doing so, yet. I am no where near as good a driver as my husband and terrified of spending time in close living quarters with a stranger. Honestly if I could ride with him as a solo driver and myself as a passenger forever, I'd be happy doing that but it doesn't really seem feasible.

If we can't find a company that allows an adult passenger soon, I'll just have to try going into training without the time, but I'm hoping we can avoid it. Too many stressors at one time for me is rather like a diabetic overdosing in insulin and I'm already spread a little thin.

OMG i know exactly what you mean about the mom!

Check with CRE about your meds. Just because DOT accepts a med doesnt mean the company will.

i would imagine depression meds may be a problem... certain ones are banned at prime.

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

No he finished his phase two. He's a company driver so not with his own truck, though he's been driving teams since CRE requires that for awhile. Currently his partner is on home time. No, he's not currently trying to stay out for more - the per mileage with CRE during your first year is very low but we knew that going in. He's been pushing for home time but they've got him in a fleet that services the mid-west and west while we're in the southeast which, unfortunately, is proving to be almost entirely regional driving.

We know he'd owe for the schooling, but that is significantly less important to us than being together. We've been married soon-to-be 13 years and together for 17. Repaying the loan for the schooling is fine. We can't have children and have no property to worry about (I'm actually staying with my mother which is part of the problem). All we've got is the cat up there and a car. I'll be doing my schooling work a technical college that's had a program for over a decade and it'll be covered by a grant - just waiting for the next program start. I'd have gone through CRE myself but after these experiences, I don't actually trust them to put us together as a team if it's at all inconvenient for them.

A very large part, I suppose, is wondering if I'll get through this rough phase, then. The separation is bad enough but my mother is the last person I should be around for a year. I have severe chronic depression and PTSD partially genetic and managed well with medication (depression) and partially situational largely from being the only child of a rapid cycling bi-polar parent. Generally I have very few issues despite the severity of my illness but my mom, much as I love her, is a direct trigger so I'll be living the entire time we're together on pins and needles keeping a lid on a very over reactive flight response - not exactly a good setting to add more stress to.

I guess my best option is to finish getting my CDL as soon as possible and see about getting set up as a team for the remainder of his time with CRE?

Posted:  2 years, 4 months ago

View Topic:

First few months trucker wife - am I overreacting?

My husband finished his training and got his CDL the last week of September. CREngland trained well, got him on the road immediately (DM actually called to ask him why he refused a job in Saturday - answer, he did finalize paperwork and get approved until Monday) and we knew the pay was pretty awful going in. We would have trained together but it wasn't financially feasible and I needed physical therapy to be able to climb into the trailer unassisted (scoliosis plus wide load).

He's been home once in all that time and largely because he had to go over his DM, despite approval and being willing to wait a few days, because that home time was also including a doctor's appointment for maintenance medication adjustment and a death in the family. It's been 8 weeks since that visit and we're both very much getting the feeling the DM really doesn't see anything wrong with that. Am I over reacting or is it time to start putting out feelers for other companies? If so, how many really allow a spouse to ride along and how quickly? JB Hunt says immediately, but... Well, recruiters.

We don't have children and we've been together in a truck for days and even weeks before when he drove a box truck for a small company years ago. We loved it! I enjoy navigation, route planning, scheduling and paperwork and he's an exceptional driver with stellar night vision. We'd like some time together with him solo driving for a few months before I go to schooling (I'm less confident and want some familiarity before jumping in) especially after so much fighting to see each other even for a few days out of three months. Any advice is welcome!

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