Profile For NaeNaeInNC

This would have made the entire interaction a different scenario.

Saying "I think we picked up at shipper xyz, right?" Instead of "I saw you in a red shirt, black jeans, and purple chucks."

Many have missed the point and the nuance between the two. One is completely nonthreatening and acknowledges seeing me before. The other is a creepy red flag.

As for the Brad Pitt comment, well, he's kind of a turn in real life, soooo, his attraction is a moot point.

Guys, I'm not saying to never offer help. I'm not even saying to ignore the fact that you have seen someone before. Just be aware that what you consider "friendly banter" could put women on their guard.

Also, just bloody ask before touching anything!

NaeNae had every right to feel uneasy and her privacy being invaded. She didn't ask for any help and the guy just should have asked if she needed any before just proceeding.

Way to make an assumption about my political beliefs and my capability of doing my job, based on what I pulled out of the closet that day.

Let me guess, a woman wearing a short skirt is "asking for it" when a strange man grabs her, or r@pes her.

Let me guess, it's the teenage girls fault for having big boobs and "distracting" the teenage boy, so HER education time is interrupted when she is sent to the principals office, and then home, because "boys will be boys" and "bodies are always sexualized."

The fact of the matter is, my glasses are chosen because I LIKE them. My sneakers are chosen because they fit my Flintstone feet. Same with the T-shirt and jeans. They cover the appropriate parts of my body. None of these articles of clothing/daily wear is inviting ANYONE to speak to me while I'm trying to do my job.

Do you chose your daily clothing based on who may interact with you every day? Does your wife or daughter have to think about who may be around them, and if a T-shirt and jeans is enough armor?

Give me a break.

There was NOTHING about my actions or situation that said I needed help, wanted additional conversation, or asked him to touch my equipment, while my butt was still in my driver's seat. NOTHING. But based on my outfit description from days before, I was asking for it.

Try wearing a more age appropriate outfit. Maybe along the lines of a spiffy Hillary Clinton style pant suit and you won't be looked at or offered any help.

Mine always gets hung up on other clothes, and or twisted when putting it on, so if I know it's required, I'll leave it on.

However, I just bought a high vis yellow Carhartt hoodie.... So my reasoning may be unsound.

I'm really not a raging B.... Most of the time.

We live in a world where people have been programmed to be offended by everything.

Man, this needs to be on a billboard or something it's so damn true

This is a very interesting discussion. I can see valid points on all sides of this issue.

However, if I encounter any female drivers wearing red shirts I I am definitely not going to mess with that person.

Just saying… ….

The whole interaction could have gone way better, had he simply ASKED before touching my trailer, and said something innocuous like "I think we picked up at the same location, (said location) right?"

That statement is way less creepy than "oh yeah, I saw you wearing a red shirt, black jeans, and purple chucks.".

Had my laid back chill dog not been wanting to tear his face off, I wouldn't have been as "on alert." My hyper aware dog wants to have a go at any dude with a beard and a ballcap, so I mostly take that into consideration.

The bottom line is, sure, approach people, OFFER assistance, by asking if they could use a hand. Don't stop helping people if that is in your nature. Just don't lay hands on equipment without permission.

NaeNaeInNC, I'm curious.....how should a man approach you if he's just looking for friendly conversation? Or maybe that's not possible? I'm asking because I'm the type that will just talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime. I'm just the friendly, talkative type. It would never cross my mind that someone might be offended by an attempt at friendly conversation and a helping hand.

Three states away* (curses the lack of edit button)

Do you make it a habit to comment on the clothing a male driver was wearing, when you spotted him three states ago, in a very non descript truck? Yeah, didn't think so.

I see where you're coming from but you may be making too much out of it.

Some men are raised to help women. It doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in you.

And the fact that you're both working for the same company means you have something in common. Kinda like you're his 'sister' in the industry.

Do you also comment on a male drivers clothing articles that you saw them wearing three states away?

I've helped countless fellow drivers both male and female in a similar way when they've helped me.

Guess I'm trying to get them to fall for me. Since that was clearly his only motivation......

This. The fact that he RECOGNIZED ME from two states away, down to what shirt I was wearing, turns a situation from something that could have been friendly and a reciprocation of help, to something seriously uncomfortable.

The fact that BOTH my dogs were going crazy, also made the situation more than it needed to be. My male does not like any men. Fair. My female is chill, but reacts to people putting off "bad vibes." I refuse to ignore intuition and gut feelings, to not hurt someone else's fragile ego. The entire exchange would have been different, had he ASKED if I needed help, before ever moving towards my equipment, and if he hadn't been creepy mc creeperson about where he had seen me in a very non descript truck, right down to the clothes I was wearing.

Ok so I get where you guys are coming from but I also see NaeNae’s point. It’s probably hard for someone like Bobcat Bob to see the point because he is genuinely helpful and would simply want to be courteous in that situation. I used to think the same way until my gf started driving.

While there are plenty of guys and gals who are simply helpful human beings, there are plenty of guys who see a female driver and automatically assume she must need some sort of help or needs advice and so on. Don’t know if that was the case here but I don’t think it’s fair for us on here to assume the guy was just being helpful.

At the very least he should have asked if she wanted help with the landing gear. If she was just sitting in her truck he had no business touching her truck or trailer. If nothing else I hope people reading this at least gather that from this thread—don’t assume things and don’t touch another driver’s equipment without their express knowledge and/or consent. I’ve had people start messing with my trailer valves when I was still new at my current job while I was unloading and it’s absolutely unnerving.

Maybe the guy was just trying to help but I don’t see any reason he couldn’t ask her before touching her equipment

Why? What the heck is it about me, that makes way too many of the unkempt smelly drivers with stolen valor think I need or want their help?

Today, difficult dock, trucks moving around, dark, but NAILED IT, as usual. I'm filling out my form, with my window open, and a driver comes over (from our company) and asks me a question about our app. I explain what is likely causing his issue, and figure that's the end of it.

This MOTHER *BEEPING* JACKWAGGON starts cranking my landing gear. WTF? I ask him what he thinks he is doing, and he said:

I saw you in a red shirt when you picked up this load (two days ago in CA, creepy, but whatever) and figure since you just helped me, I'd help you.

Ok, whatever man. Get your hands off my d@mn truck before I remove them from it myself. Meanwhile, my dogs are at the window going insanely crazy, and my male looks like he wants a greasy snack.

Then he acted all upset that I wasn't falling all over myself to thank him and talk to him. No. Just no.

Keep your hands to yourself, and stay out of the way of me doing my job.