Comments By HomeHalf

Thank you so very much. Most of these points have gone through my head over the last few months. I mean it when I say I have been through all of the stages of grief in the time from decision to leaving tomorrow!

You said "A man/woman who did not cheat at home is not going to do it on the road." I already knew this of course, but it doesn't mean that the thought didn't go through my head. We have always given each other their own space. My trucker half is the best person I know. When people say to be with someone who makes you better, I truly am. He is my rock, role model and best friend. I have no doubts that we will struggle with the distance some but that will just make the home time sweeter. I know it sounds like hippies but Live, Laugh, Love really is the way we do things here in our home. No topic is off limits with our four teenagers. I am sure there will be more laughs than anything else to relay to him in his downtime. I am excited for him....and us! I've got my cheering britches on and ready to encourage all he needs.

I love your article and thank you so very much for giving it to us straight.

I was just telling my TruckerHalf how invaluable this site is. Over the last few weeks of waiting for school to start he has spent countless hours reading post after post. There have been so many times that I have wanted to scream "umm hello!!! We are here! Get off that computer and spend the time you have left with us" Then he asked me to post my side of the story. That got me in here reading the stuff he has been absorbing as much as he possibly could. Shhh...don't tell him it is the first place I go now when I sit down to browse. How wonderful to have a place to see some of the "everyday" and then some of the

Thank you so much to the moderators. Trucking is a family like no other that is for sure! I am grateful that my Trucker found you all and it has made him more comfortable and prepared.

When my husband asked me if I would be interested in posting about my side of our “new life” I thought “nah, who could I help?” But then the more I considered it, the more I thought that if I had found the words of someone who had already gone through it, maybe I would have come to the acceptance much sooner. Trucking Truth has practically been his Bible since he made the decision to become an OTR driver so I guess I can share.

Hubs was laid off from his job 4 months ago. A job at the same company I am with, we worked from home. Together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Over 5 years with the same work hours, same days off. Separate rooms of the house so we didn't get on each others nerves (mainly because his taste in music isn't quite as good as mine) but for the most part together together together. When he was laid off due to downsizing we were faced with the decision of what now?

In our almost 20 year relationship, he had never been unemployed. He spent the first 2 weeks filling out applications and looking everywhere he could to get to work ASAP. We have lived paycheck to paycheck for most of our marriage so there was just no savings to rely on. I saw that he was getting worried and stressed when the phone wasn't ringing with callbacks. Then one day he came into my office, stood there with his hands in his pockets and delivered the news. “I have decided that becoming a truck driver is what is best for the family. I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I need to do what is best for us in the long run and I believe this is it”

Most of us associate the stages of grief with someone close to us dying. I have come to learn that those stages are real and can come with any major life change.

1. Denial and Isolation- Why is this happening? Why does he think this is the only solution to our problem? He can't just leave me here with 4 kids, 3 dogs, 2 cats and my mother! Is leaving me here alone really the only option?

2. Anger: This is total BS!! How dare he leave me with all of the parenting responsibility. He is going to go out and see the country and live this wonderful life of freedom and open road. Thinking only of getting where he needs to be on time and safely with not a care in the world of what is going on here. Kids fighting, running back and forth for after school activities and jobs, housework and all the other normal daily duties.

3. Bargaining- It's okay, he can take a job that pays less. I can trim the budget more. Get a second job. Whatever it takes to keep him here with me!!

4. Fear and Depression- Oh my, this one took the longest to get through. The sadness was real. So many questions and so many fears. Was this the end of my marriage as I knew it? Will my husband one day feel that coming home is an obligation and when he is here will he be counting the hours to get back out there? Will he find someone that has the freedom to roam and live that life on the road? Will my days be spent dreading the nights that are sure to be filled with loneliness like I have never known? What if I am not strong enough for all of this without him?

5. Finally acceptance!!! We can do this. I can do this. We are strong in our love. Our children are old enough that we have already instilled the values needed to be decent members of society. Why am I questioning this??? He is the one leaving his home. Embarking on this scary life-changing expedition to better the lives of the ones he loves most. All I have to do is hold this fort down and keep us all chugging along the way we always have.

In rereading this, I realize just how selfish I sound in explaining it all. This is Trucking TRUTH right? No need to sugar coat it, that wouldn't help anyone. I have been fortunate to have had four months to prepare. He has been so patient with me and let me go through this myriad of emotions on my own while spending countless hours doing nonstop research. Determined that if there is an answer out there for our questions, he was going to find it.

Hubs leaves in 3 days!! I am so nervous, and excited and proud to be his wife. He is willing to sacrifice so much to give us a better life and peace of mind. I hope I can keep it together between now and Sunday.