Over The Road Relationships: Are They Possible? - Article By Rainy

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Brett Aquila's Comment
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We've published another awesome article by Rainy called:

Over The Road Relationships: Are They Possible?

For anyone considering a career in trucking you really have to read this. Rainy takes a deep dive into long distance relationships and how to keep them healthy.

One of the toughest aspects of maintaining this type of relationship is remembering that you're not the only one who has it tough. So does your partner!

Trucking is tough. When you first get out on the road you are totally overwhelmed with pressure, long exhausting days, and trying to learn a million things at month all while you're out on the road away from home and family and friends.

But your partner back home has now been left behind to take care of everything without your help. They're lonely, they're overwhelmed, and they often feel like they've been abandoned.

Understanding what the other partner is going through is one of the keys to making this work, and Rainy really lays it out there beautifully.

There's also a bonus section giving hope to single people!

Seriously, an amazing article you have to read:

Over The Road Relationships: Are They Possible?

Over The Road:

Over The Road

OTR driving normally means you'll be hauling freight to various customers throughout your company's hauling region. It often entails being gone from home for two to three weeks at a time.

G-Town's Comment
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I gotta hand it to you, HUGE Props on this Rainy.

Thoroughly covered all aspects, well done!

*like

Allen Howell's Comment
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It was interesting to read about Rainy's experiences before she entered trucking. I appreciate the high quality of the writing from the usual crew of article writers for this forum.

Jeremy C.'s Comment
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Awesome article, Rainy!

It's easy to forget that we are not the only ones "going through things" while out here. Last night my wife dropped a bomb on me. One of our pets died a slow and bad death two weeks back. She dealt with nursing her and with the end all on her own and never said a word to me about it. She didn't want to distract me from training or driving. So she dealt with it and grieved alone.

This was no small thing, we basically lost a 13 year long member of our family. And the end could not have been easy. I'm sad that I wasn't there, but I was also probably spared some bad memories.

I guess it's just hard to keep in mind that things still happen at home. Life is constantly changing out here for me. But it's also changing at home, too. Great article to remind us of that and ironically great timing.

Dan M.'s Comment
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Having recently gone through a divorce I really enjoyed the read. Well said and does give some hope. Thanks Rainy.

Heavy C's Comment
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Very good read. Lots of solid advice and warnings that future drivers really should take into consideration.

This topic is the main factor for me in my decision to go with local work. Instead of the traditional and more recommended route of OTR. My wife and I had serious discussions about this for many months while I pondered the idea of getting my CDL. Along with the articles and advice from this site, and talking with companies in my area. I made the decision to stay local should I get my license. My kids also played a big part. Having at the time a 3 year old and an infant son. I wasn't willing to sacrifice my time with them. Having grown up without a father the later half of my childhood, I didn't want my kids to go through anything even similar. So I made what I felt what was the best decision for me and my family.

So rookies and future rookies it's very important you have and your S/O have an understanding of what this job can be like. I would encourage not only you the driver but your S/O to read Brett's book, the article we're talking about by Rainy, and all the other information this site has to offer. That way you can hopefully make the best decision for both of you.

CDL:

Commercial Driver's License (CDL)

A CDL is required to drive any of the following vehicles:

  • Any combination of vehicles with a gross combined weight rating (GCWR) of 26,001 or more pounds, providing the gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) of the vehicle being towed is in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any single vehicle with a GVWR of 26,001 or more pounds, or any such vehicle towing another not in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any vehicle, regardless of size, designed to transport 16 or more persons, including the driver.
  • Any vehicle required by federal regulations to be placarded while transporting hazardous materials.

OTR:

Over The Road

OTR driving normally means you'll be hauling freight to various customers throughout your company's hauling region. It often entails being gone from home for two to three weeks at a time.

Rainy D.'s Comment
member avatar

Awesome article, Rainy!

It's easy to forget that we are not the only ones "going through things" while out here. Last night my wife dropped a bomb on me. One of our pets died a slow and bad death two weeks back. She dealt with nursing her and with the end all on her own and never said a word to me about it. She didn't want to distract me from training or driving. So she dealt with it and grieved alone.

This was no small thing, we basically lost a 13 year long member of our family. And the end could not have been easy. I'm sad that I wasn't there, but I was also probably spared some bad memories.

I guess it's just hard to keep in mind that things still happen at home. Life is constantly changing out here for me. But it's also changing at home, too. Great article to remind us of that and ironically great timing.

Thanks everyone! Jeremy, you and your wife inspired this article. She obviously cares for you very much and Im sorry so about your pet.

And i suggest all of you men heed my advice to go buy your women some flowers this week. i bet you will get some really good loving when you get home.

rofl-3.gif

(No bribes were accepting from wives for this commentary. TT is is no way responsible for the things that come out of Rainys mouth) lol

Jeremy C.'s Comment
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Thanks everyone! Jeremy, you and your wife inspired this article.

wtf.gif

The last time that happened the article started out with, We the jury...

Okay, seriously, it's awesome that my stumbling along somehow led to a small part in your inspiration. But it was this site that taught me how to ask questions. So, Trucking Truth was the real inspiration. 👍

Rainy D.'s Comment
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Something just mentioned on another thread that i left out of this article is finances.

It is absolutely imperative that both partners understand and budget accordingly. A driver who is out here giving it all needs access to money for food and daily needs. If rhe home partner is using the same account, they need to respect that. The driver needs to respect that his Direct TV and PSwhatever number needs to wait until the kids at home get their school supplies, clothes and food.

It might be necessary to have seperate checking accounts so that the driver always has money available when needed.

Joseph L.'s Comment
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Rainy's article deserves a standing ovation, well written an enjoyable read. When I left for school at CR.England my wife told me she would understand if I ended up with a second family somewhere else. She said she had done research and found it was common for truck driver's to have more than one family. Before I could respond she started advising me that I plan to have a second wife I need to change a few things, 1) loose the beard,2) dye the hair (I have too much grey, white and silver) and 3 I needed to become more politically correct. So of course things didn't pan out with CR. England. Fast forward a few months. Return home after the road training phase. The wife see's me and shakes her head. "You still have the beard and obviously you weren't listening when I said dye your hair" She asked did I meet anyone? Did I talk to any ladies? I said yes. I spoke to several ladies at the shippers and receivers, I spoke to female cashiers, female employees at subways, burger king, McDonald's, Hardees. So yes I spoke to plenty of ladies while I was away. She gave me a dirty look and said no you idiot I am talking about did you meet anyone you might want to take on a date? I started to answer well there was one girl, uhm never mind, oh wait there have been a couple of girls I guess you could say were attractive, possible dating material for someone The wife sighed and said well we are moving in the right direction. She asked if I talk to them. I ask talk with who? The ladies you meet! The wife said Why would I want to talk with them? The wife glared. So your telling me all the time you were on the road you didn't meet a single person who interested you? I thought for a minute and then told the wife "well actually there was this cashier down in Texas or New Mexico I don't recall the exact area, I just remember walking into this truck and the cashier behind the counter shouted at me that the coffee was fresh! I said we had a cosmic coffee connection!

Shipper:

The customer who is shipping the freight. This is where the driver will pick up a load and then deliver it to the receiver or consignee.

OOS:

When a violation by either a driver or company is confirmed, an out-of-service order removes either the driver or the vehicle from the roadway until the violation is corrected.

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