Off The Cuff Comments

Topic 21156 | Page 1

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K.R.'s Comment
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(Usual disclaimer: I am trans/gender***** and use masculine they/them pronouns most of the time; but I present female because of ease of clothing and such, and not wanting to take the time to educate every damn person I run across while trucking. Also, I signed the co-ed papers and am out with a male trainer and not making a big deal of gender identity stuff right now because the more important thing to me is to just get the training done and over with so that I can go solo and be assigned to my own truck.)

Anyway, so I'm posting this in this category because I figure that some of the women probably have the best advice and reassurance for what happened.

I'm out with my trainer right now and he was making a phone call while I was driving (pretty standard, we both do make phone calls where the other can hear what's going on). Anyway, he's talking with his buddy and I overhear him saying, "Did you hear about what's happening in California how they're making it illegal to use the wrong gender pronouns now?" pause pause "Yeah the world's going to (h - e - double hockey sticks put in for the censor) in a handbasket" etc etc. They go on about this for a few more minutes and there is some variously more inappropriate comments about trans people and such that make me really uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything at the time.

And that's the thing. Although it does make me uncomfortable, I don't really want to say anything. I certainly don't want to confront him, and I don't want to tell the student department Right Now because that would be making too much of an issue with it, and as I said before, I just want to get this over with…?

I don't know. And on the other hand from my previous experience holding supervisory positions it's a super uncool thing to be saying and let alone to be saying in the hearing of a coworker. So.

Help, thoughts, advice? Do I just shut up and deal with it and hope that I get the rest of my 200 hours logged as soon as possible, or do I make some noise?

Susan D. 's Comment
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Honestly, I don't understand why you keep bringing this up. Nobody is concerned with your gender identity, so why keep bringing this up?

A driver is a driver is a driver. There are both men and women out here. Personally I don't understand any of it. I have friends who are gay, straight, some dress and present as a different gender. Doesn't bother me at all. I simply call them my friend because that's what they are. I never think of them any other way.

His remarks were tacky and uncalled for, and I realize you're stuck in a truck with this guy. Just try letting him get to know you without making this gender thing a big deal. If it becomes a real problem then request a different trainer if you must.

K.R.'s Comment
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I haven't even mentioned the gender stuff to him at all. which I guess is part of it. there's no way he'd have known that the comment was going to make me uncomfortable.

it's not a big deal but in the same way it can be. I dunno. I'm just going to stick it out and if he makes the same comments again maybe I'll do the, "this makes me uncomfortable because" bit and such.

you're great and people who accept people for who they are are great but when that my gender identity is nonstandard and hearing someone go on about how gender identity is bull****? makes it feel like a big deal.

Susan D. 's Comment
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Then he might not realize his faux pas or he could have figured it out and just be a rude SOB.

People tend to act stupid and fear what they don't understand. Hopefully this guy will come around and not make such thoughtless remarks, but if it gets in the way of your company training, confide in your student/training coordinator and maybe they can place you with someone more understanding.

LJ's Comment
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This topic of conversation, as overheard by you, makes you feel uncomfortable. That's understandable. Your trainer isn't aware, as you say, so use this situation as practice for thickening your skin. You will encounter a myriad of opinions and conversations that will rub you the wrong way, and be offensive. Speaking to your trainer about it doesn't sound like a good idea. Your focus is to learn from him Every Thing you possibly can, about driving. And backing. And sliding tandems. And fueling. And Safety..... Like was mentioned before; if you're too offended or uncomfortable, request a different trainer. Differences of opinions are a given. Try not to let them interfere with your goals for training. Good Luck to you!

Tandems:

Tandem Axles

A set of axles spaced close together, legally defined as more than 40 and less than 96 inches apart by the USDOT. Drivers tend to refer to the tandem axles on their trailer as just "tandems". You might hear a driver say, "I'm 400 pounds overweight on my tandems", referring to his trailer tandems, not his tractor tandems. Tractor tandems are generally just referred to as "drives" which is short for "drive axles".

Tandem:

Tandem Axles

A set of axles spaced close together, legally defined as more than 40 and less than 96 inches apart by the USDOT. Drivers tend to refer to the tandem axles on their trailer as just "tandems". You might hear a driver say, "I'm 400 pounds overweight on my tandems", referring to his trailer tandems, not his tractor tandems. Tractor tandems are generally just referred to as "drives" which is short for "drive axles".

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