New To Trucking With A VERY Jealous Husband =(

Hello Ladies!

My name is Susan and I very new to the OTR trucking life. I finished trucking school 2 weeks ago and I am about to set out with my mentor for some driver training. I am so far loving it but I need some advise for a rather major problem I am having with my husband.

Here is some back story to help get the whole story. We have been married for a little over a year and together for almost 4. The beginning of our relationship had its ups and downs but we stuck through it and were very happy. about a year ago we hit money problems which resulted in marital problems. 6 months ago we moved to New Mexico and started making ends meet and things were looking better. Then our room mates left so we were in a bind again. I decided I was going to go to school to get my license and start making for money and have a way better job then I had. We needed to do something because things were starting to get bad. That is when things with his jealousy started.

I had worked things out, money wise, to get me through school until I start bringing in a paycheck. He was understandably upset when it came time for me to leave for Phoenix. He was going to miss me and I was gonna miss him but I thought we could get through it and it was our only chance. Things were okay for the first couple days when school was getting paperwork all together and nothing exciting to talk about happened. I called him after class and told him about my day and who was involved. ie. "Today Me and David were practicing pre-trip today". Around that time is when he started calling more and more. Then he started not letting me off the phone to go to bed. After class sometimes a group of us would go outside to study and hang out. I forgot my phone in the hotel room one night and I came back to 17 missed calls. I told him everything that went on during my day and called him every night and texted him as much possible through the day. I told him who I talked to and what it was about.

He eventually started telling me I needed to come home and he couldn't handle it. I was 2 weeks in so coming home was not an option. He then started spending too much money, skipping bills, missed rent. He tried blaming me for not making any money. This went on the whole time. I was there for 4 weeks. Now I finished my orientation with my company and am officially hired. I was supposed to leave with a trainer yesterday but they didn't have one yet. They were trying to get me one today but it didn't work out and now they are sending me to Denver to get one. One of my friends I met at school lives in Denver and is at the terminal waiting for his truck. My husband is freaking out. He wants me to quit instead of going to Denver.

I can't handle him being this jealous especially in this industry. I don't know what to do to help it. I do not want to quit and I am at a loss. What can I do.

Hello Ladies!

My name is Susan and I very new to the OTR trucking life. I finished trucking school 2 weeks ago and I am about to set out with my mentor for some driver training. I am so far loving it but I need some advise for a rather major problem I am having with my husband.

Here is some back story to help get the whole story. We have been married for a little over a year and together for almost 4. The beginning of our relationship had its ups and downs but we stuck through it and were very happy. about a year ago we hit money problems which resulted in marital problems. 6 months ago we moved to New Mexico and started making ends meet and things were looking better. Then our room mates left so we were in a bind again. I decided I was going to go to school to get my license and start making for money and have a way better job then I had. We needed to do something because things were starting to get bad. That is when things with his jealousy started.

I had worked things out, money wise, to get me through school until I start bringing in a paycheck. He was understandably upset when it came time for me to leave for Phoenix. He was going to miss me and I was gonna miss him but I thought we could get through it and it was our only chance. Things were okay for the first couple days when school was getting paperwork all together and nothing exciting to talk about happened. I called him after class and told him about my day and who was involved. ie. "Today Me and David were practicing pre-trip today". Around that time is when he started calling more and more. Then he started not letting me off the phone to go to bed. After class sometimes a group of us would go outside to study and hang out. I forgot my phone in the hotel room one night and I came back to 17 missed calls. I told him everything that went on during my day and called him every night and texted him as much possible through the day. I told him who I talked to and what it was about.

He eventually started telling me I needed to come home and he couldn't handle it. I was 2 weeks in so coming home was not an option. He then started spending too much money, skipping bills, missed rent. He tried blaming me for not making any money. This went on the whole time. I was there for 4 weeks. Now I finished my orientation with my company and am officially hired. I was supposed to leave with a trainer yesterday but they didn't have one yet. They were trying to get me one today but it didn't work out and now they are sending me to Denver to get one. One of my friends I met at school lives in Denver and is at the terminal waiting for his truck. My husband is freaking out. He wants me to quit instead of going to Denver.

I can't handle him being this jealous especially in this industry. I don't know what to do to help it. I do not want to quit and I am at a loss. What can I do.

Sounds like you're between a rock and a hard spot. If you go home, are you going to have to pay for your schooling and for breaking your contract? It's a school so you won't be able to include it a bankruptsy. The years contract will be done in no time at all. Good luck.

Susan Welcome and Im sorry but Im going to be just flat out blunt. This situation will never work with a jealous husband. The first year is an emotional rollercoaster. Without support it will be the hardest thing you do. You will need proper rest and cant be up all night passifying a big *** baby. This is a male dominated field. There is no getting around the men in it. So either your husband comes out on the road or goes to therapy for his obvious emotional issues.

Redgator has it right.....There is no room for jealousy in trucking...PERIOD...I've had alot of experience in relationships...and very jealous men ( don't ask Gator..). Your husband is doing the usual tantrum crap. If he couldn't talk you into coming home, then he creates "situations" to make you come home. If that doesn't work, he will come up with something else....so be prepared. BUt I'll give you my take on what jealousy in men really is. When a man is jealous...its his way of telling me that he doesn't trust ME...he thinks I'll find someone to sleep with...He thinks I have no morals, no self respect...and no value in his world, other than to go to work to make him money, clean his house, wash his clothes, cook his meals, and warm his bed. If thats what you want your life to be, then crumble under his game, and go back home. It takes independent women to become truck drivers..women with self respect, an ego...and a CAN DO attitude. If you don't have that...or can't bow your neck and dig in your heels to get it....then trucking isn't for you. We are tough cookies in silk and lace....But the rewards....the independence...the adventure...NOTHING compares with that !!!! If you deny yourself this chance, you will regret it the rest of your life. Your snotty little brattie husband needs to grow up, shut up, and grow a pair....and getting a job would be an option, also. I don't like wimpy insecure men. THey ruin to many women's possibility at a good, happy, productive life adventure.....they need to go back to mommy....

I agree with the other ladies. If your man is so afraid of you being around men in the industry, he needs to get with it and get a CDL. Your career can take care of you better than he can. If it gets down to dumping the man or dumping the career.....DUMP THE MAN! You will be better off with out him. Been there, done that.

Ok ill start with hello and once again srry for droppin in,but im a male and may have a solution to ur problem. have ya thought bout askin him if he wanted to go for his cdl and possibly drive teams,or just ride along? i ask this bc here is the main reason spouss and ill say spouse bc u women get the same way at times. they hear of truckin bein a sex fest well let me tell ya when ya see half of what is out ther ya wnt wanna play on the court ull wanna stay with hubby/wifey and play with both yas best friend bob/ or sally mayfingers.

take photos of urself here and there in places so he can see nothing is goin wrong it doesnt mean get racy i mean ike in a sunset view with ur truck n such. hope this helps out some if not alot.

I was 2 weeks in so coming home was not an option. He then started spending too much money, skipping bills, missed rent. He tried blaming me for not making any money . . . I can't handle him being this jealous especially in this industry. I don't know what to do to help it. I do not want to quit and I am at a loss. What can I do.

Susan, I was "grazing" over here when I read your post. Can I tell you something from an "old fart's" perspective? Think of it as fatherly advice. I didn't see any mention of children in your post (other than the unbelievable man-child you married) so the solution is very simple. Dump the jerk and move on. You have some emotional investment it is true BUT you have already shown plenty of maturity in making the decision and then the effort to make a better future for yourself. He WILL NOT CHANGE because he is obviously a very insecure individual who will never trust your decisions nor respect your abilities. Life is too short to waste any more time on this individual. I have a strong impulse to label him a loser but I have no right to do so. I will, however, label this situation what it is - a losing situation in which you have made the first bold steps to free yourself of a dead weight around your neck. Follow the good instincts that made your original decision to better yourself and make a future for yourself. You are not responsible for your so-called husband's happiness nor future. I say so-called because this man has no idea how to be a good husband and shows no willingness to learn. Spouses are supposed to be servants to one another - a fact you seem to intuitively understand and one he will never grasp. Don't look back. Consider the emotional turmoil you will experience as like the burning sensation of a good hot sauce - it's not really burning anything, it just seems like it and it will fade into the distance with time. So will he. Take your future into your own hands and jettison the baggage.

Jopa

As painful as it seems....Relationships have to be a 50-50 deal. I don't foresee an outcome from this situation that will have your relationship surviving. Women who are independent have to find special men who see them as beautiful, empowered, and sexy....and able to drive a semi !!! Those men are out there..I happen to be married to one. The decision is yours to make....your life is yours to lead....but don't sell yourself short, just because someone threatens you, or tries to tell you that you can't do it. My dad told me many years ago that my abilities were only exceeded by my strong will......I have lived by that creed, and have worked in a man's world for many many years. Whatever your decision, be sure and stick around here....we'll grow on ya !!!!!