How Much Home Drama Should I Share With My Otr Trucker?

Topic 1496 | Page 1

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JanaBanana's Comment
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My fiance has been on the road training for the last month and is doing well, about to get his truck assigned etc. I just finished my second week of school and am doing well, several companies have qualified me so employment is looming. But financially the home situation is getting a little tight. I am handling everything ok and still getting good grades in driver school, but it's scary. I want to keep my man in the loop (he's my rock) but I don't want to potentially distract him from his training and safety. Home is his haven too, he misses it terribly! I keep him updated on day to day, like "I moved the couches around" or "hey babe, I finally took that old bike to storage". But really, how much do you guys want your lady to lay on you? I'm pretty sure I have it handled, so should I just let it ride and tell him later? I just don't know if keeping the stress on the down low now will make him mad later! Any advice would be great :0)

Andy H. aka AZ Scooby's Comment
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Hi Jana, I know how stressful being away from home can be. I'm only on my first week in school and already feel it. I talk to my wife every day and she lets me know how much harder it is being the only one at home to watch our 1 year old baby. But we're gonna do this and we're gonna make it work. Anyways, first off I obviously don't know your husband or anything about him. I don't know how he handles stress or the gets angry easily or not. I think this is a decision you'll have to make on your own. I believe in communication between spouses. And I personally would want to know what my wife is doing and if she's having any problems at home. But at the same time, it could be a distraction if it were a serious enough problem. Maybe try weighing the pros and cons of either. Pros: If I tell him I will keep an honest and open line of communication. Now that he's informed we can come up with a possible solution together......and so on. Cons: If I tell him it could cause a major distraction in his training.....

Come up with as many as you can and weigh the options. Hope that helps just a little bit. Best of luck to you and your husband. Keep positive and remember we're all here to help.

Scooby

Daniel B.'s Comment
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This is from my point of view. Others may disagree.

Trucking is by far the most stressful on that first month solo. He's about to get his own truck and about to graduate so right now he's very happy and excited. But once he goes solo that first month is going to beat him up. That first month is extremely stressful. He won't know how to properly manage his hours and he doesn't learn that when he's team driving with a trainer. Every situation he will get in that he didnt get in when he was with his trainer will always be difficult for him because he won't know what to do. Once he gets his truck and goes solo he will be stressed and every day will be a difficult challenge for him. This is why when people graduate on TT we never hear from them in months. They're simply too busy and tired.

Having said that. If you're managing everything with his low training pay then know that he will start making a lot more. I made 350$ when I was in training. Now, the lowest I ever make in a week is 500$ and that's if the miles are awful. So it will get easier financially. I say keep it on the down low for now. His life is difficult enough at this point. He will constantly have a million things on his mind when he goes solo, it's best to not add more stress and pressure. It's up to you when to tell him but if the bills are being paid and you're just barely keeping on then you're doing good enough.

My wife actually manages our finances. She realizes that I don't always have Internet to pay bills and I'm usually to busy to focus on bills.

Tracey K.'s Comment
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Both of you guys have really said what is needed. Very good advice!

Hi Jana,

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders not to mention a lot of love for your fiance'. It is your decision and maybe a few others will chime in here to help you out. Getting different perspectives is great. That shows how much you care about what you are doing.

I applaud the fact that you are going through school too. How cool is that! Ya'll are going to make a great pair of team drivers.

You know him best. If you feel you can take care of things, then do so. Drama is what it is, DRAMA. But, if we are talking very serious situations then that is a whole new ball game. That is where you have to way it out. The fact that you used that word suggest that is what it is, just drama. He doesn't need that. And hopefully when you two are finished with school and can get out there and drive together you won't have to worry anymore about that 'home drama'. If that's what ya'll plan on doing.

Check in with the Ladies Forum too. We have some very intelligent ladies in there and I know they would be very happy to help you out. It's off limits to us guys, so you can vent and get that lady talk advice that you need.

Will add you to my prayer list. We are hear with shoulders and ears always.good-luck-2.gif

JanaBanana's Comment
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Thank you so much Andy, Daniel and Tracey! After I read your replies I felt better. I spoke with him several times during school breaks and after school today. I decided that his peace of mind is more important than anything right now. So I smiled and told him about how I am NEVER going to get the hang of straight backing and how being the only female in this school is a bit much. He, of course, said all the right sweet things and supported me. And that made his day! I decided I'll be ok, I make an awesome Vegan bean soup lol! AND, my mom and dad were passing through and filled my car with gas, bought me dinner, so I have gas to get to school! Feeling super blessed thank-you-2.gif

you guys rock :)

Andy H. aka AZ Scooby's Comment
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Thank you so much Andy, Daniel and Tracey! After I read your replies I felt better. I spoke with him several times during school breaks and after school today. I decided that his peace of mind is more important than anything right now. So I smiled and told him about how I am NEVER going to get the hang of straight backing and how being the only female in this school is a bit much. He, of course, said all the right sweet things and supported me. And that made his day! I decided I'll be ok, I make an awesome Vegan bean soup lol! AND, my mom and dad were passing through and filled my car with gas, bought me dinner, so I have gas to get to school! Feeling super blessed thank-you-2.gif

you guys rock :)

That's great, Jana. I'm glad everything worked out and we could help. Sounds like you have some wonderful caring parents as well. Take care and remember, we're here if you need us.

Andy

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