Newbie Questions From The Mrs.

Hi all! I've been lurking for a little while, and you all seem like a great group of people. I figured I would go ahead and introduce myself and ask some questions. :-)

My husband is currently in his 2nd week of CDL school (he's going to TDI in Murfreesboro, TN), and today he got offered a position with Werner! After over 6 years of him stagnating in the food service industry, we're both really excited about this opportunity. Our tentative plan is for him to do OTR for a year or two so we can get some debt paid off quickly and some savings up, and he can get some good experience under his belt, then maybe switch to a regional or dedicated route for more home-time (unless we fall in love with the road, of course). Once he's gotten his feet wet, we're talking seriously about me quitting my job so I can ride with him on the long hauls.

Any advice for a couple setting out on the road together? We're young-ish (he'll turn 30 next month, I'm already there), with no kids, and we haven't gotten to travel nearly as much as we want to. We have a really good communicative relationship, and we like spending lots of time together, but I know going on short road trips is not the same as being in a truck with someone 24/7 for weeks at a time. Just wanting to get a feel for the idea from those with experience. :-)

Also, how can I best support him from home while he's in training? I'm not exactly sure how long Werner's training lasts, and I know I'm going to miss him tons while he's gone, but I want to make it as easy as possible for him from my side. We were separated for six-ish weeks once before in our marriage, but that was under very different and super-stressful circumstances, so I'm hoping this time will be easier and more positive.

General advice and encouragement is welcome, of course! Neither of us have much experience with trucking (no family or super-close friends or anything in the business), but we're both really hopeful that this will turn out to be a good move for us, especially financially. I'm really ready to stop living paycheck-to-paycheck, and to see my hubby succeed with some work he's actually proud of.

Congrats on the first steps. Being separated can be hard on some couples but with today's communications, there should be nothing that keeps you from talking every day. Good communication is the key. For me, it was the fact that the wife took care of the needs of her and the kids and only asked me something when she did not know the answer. It is a big stress relief for the driver if they are not having to worry about what is going on at home. I knew my kids were being cared for and that was one thing I did not have to worry about and could put all my concentration towards driving.

Welcome Marie! You sound like a good solid wife.

Also, how can I best support him from home while he's in training? I'm not exactly sure how long Werner's training lasts, and I know I'm going to miss him tons while he's gone, but I want to make it as easy as possible for him from my side.

You are very thoughtful to even be thinking this way. Just try and not put any stress on him right now. Be positive on the phone about the opportunity you guys have before you, and don't complain about having to take care of everything at home while he's away. I took this job as a second career, but after thirty years of marriage there were things I never even realized that my wife had never done. Simple things like taking out the trash - she didn't even have a clue about which day the trash truck came. It was a big adjustment for her with me being gone a lot. Just try and do your best to keep him focused on what he's doing, and not give him any unnecessary worries from home. Somethings can wait until he's finished this portion of his introduction to his new career. It is a big adjustment for both of you, but hopefully you can get past the biggest hurdle which is the training time, and then you can gradually adjust to a new lifestyle for each of you.

He's got a lot to focus on right now, and it can be very stressful getting through that initial training time. Allow him to focus, and if he calls you discouraged, then help him "buck up" and face the challenge. I've got a feeling you already intuitively know how to do this for your man. You ladies are amazing at that kind of stuff some times.

I wish you both the best in this new pursuit!

I have heard that Werner's new cdl driver training program is top notch.

Murfreesboro: what a pretty town. I lived right near you, for a time: Brentwood, I think. Next time you're downtown in Nashville, go have one of those amazing chocolate malt shakes at that famous shake place for me ...? They are to die for. And while you're hangin' out waiting for all this training to be over, if you haven't already, be sure you have a strong support group around you, whether it be your church, family, friends, etc. You live in a very "tight" community, as you already know, and having good people around you while you're enduring this waiting period will be very helpful. Also, do some "investing" in yourself for now ... I don't necessarily mean spending money on yourself, but maybe you can do some things that normally you wouldn't have the time to do, were the two of you together. Start a new workout program, pick up a book at the library on a subject that you normally wouldn't read, or even start checking out the CDL training materials right on this website. It's designed so you can read a short chapter at a time and then take an open-book quiz for each chapter. It might be fun to take a little time to learn some of the terminology your hubby is learning. That way, when he talks about stuff, you'll be able to relate to him and what he's saying.

On the bigger subjects, like your marriage, Old School and Pat M. are righton. While you're going through all these changes as a couple, try to keep all other things in your marriage the same, without any other life-changing events for a while, till you get this lifestyle figured out together.

For instance, don't bring on a situation whereby you're finding yourself saying things like,

"Honey, since you're walking through the door, right now, I thought I'd hit you with the news that I got a new puppy that, well, poops all over the house but he'll get the hang of it, I bought a new car but don't worry, the payment's not too bad, my whole family moved in with me but they'll move back out in 6 months or so, I ...um... repainted the walls in ...oh, darn, that's your least favorite color, isn't it, and I rearranged the furniture and sold your favorite recliner so I could pay for the puppy, and no, I really don't know where your remote is but, you won't need it because I cancelled ESPN anyway..." LOL.

Know what I'm sayin'?

I'm pretty sure these guys generally want to come home and find everything just the way it was when they left. While he's away, keep him involved and part of all decisions the two of you would normally make together, were he home every day. That builds trust. While a new-found sense of independence on your part is very healthy for both of you, (and who knows? you might even enjoy mowing the lawn yourself) making major decisions without a mutual agreement might be a big boo-boo. I hope that doesn't seem invasive for me to say. I'm merely ...um ...expressing what I've learrrrrrned. LOL.

You know him better than anyone. Make his (they're yours too) homecomings awesome, relaxing, fun for both of you ...but don't expect perfection of yourself or him. Sometimes, it can even feel a little awkward the first day or so, after he arrives home. So, if everything isn't perfect right away, that's actually normal. You two will learn to figure out how that ebb and flow works best for you all. Go easy on each other.

Everyone on here has been extremely helpful to me, so stick around.

Anyway, hope some of this helps.

And don't forget! "Home is where you hang yer ...HAIR!" -Dolly Parton

-mountain girl

Your story reminds me of myself and my wife when I started. I was 32 and married with a 3 year old daughter. Trying to get out of debt and planning to stay a year on the road then get local. Long story short I did just that.

We always talked everyday. Always talked every night before bed and told each other good night and lots of "I love you's". there were times that I could not get by the house but would be only a hour or two away and we would meet and get a motel or sleep in truck together. Also times I was passing though The area but not for my days off and we would meet at the local truck stop. That year (2005) at thanksgiving was an example. We had our dinner in the truck at the local TA. Just me her and my daughter. It wasn't from the TA though. Home cooked from Grannies. Ha ha

Thing about this business is you can get angry or stressed about everything that you cannot do because your apart. But if you get a little creative you can enjoy a lot more than just the home time and still "Be the job."

One of my biggest mistakes was doing exactly what you are about to do. I came in with the plan to do the year then get out and get local. I pretty much wrote the rode off before I even got started and the smaller local companies were a big disappointment. Which is why I been out for over 5 years. I won't get into all the reasons. Just a little advise. Nothing wrong with having a plan. Just not quite as easy to find out the info on local smaller comps.

Enjoy your new career because you are in it too.

Sober-J over

Really great stuff to know, Sober-J. Very creative moments you two had, too.

-mountain girl

Hi all! I've been lurking for a little while, and you all seem like a great group of people. I figured I would go ahead and introduce myself and ask some questions. :-)

My husband is currently in his 2nd week of CDL school (he's going to TDI in Murfreesboro, TN), and today he got offered a position with Werner! After over 6 years of him stagnating in the food service industry, we're both really excited about this opportunity. Our tentative plan is for him to do OTR for a year or two so we can get some debt paid off quickly and some savings up, and he can get some good experience under his belt, then maybe switch to a regional or dedicated route for more home-time (unless we fall in love with the road, of course). Once he's gotten his feet wet, we're talking seriously about me quitting my job so I can ride with him on the long hauls.

Any advice for a couple setting out on the road together? We're young-ish (he'll turn 30 next month, I'm already there), with no kids, and we haven't gotten to travel nearly as much as we want to. We have a really good communicative relationship, and we like spending lots of time together, but I know going on short road trips is not the same as being in a truck with someone 24/7 for weeks at a time. Just wanting to get a feel for the idea from those with experience. :-)

Also, how can I best support him from home while he's in training? I'm not exactly sure how long Werner's training lasts, and I know I'm going to miss him tons while he's gone, but I want to make it as easy as possible for him from my side. We were separated for six-ish weeks once before in our marriage, but that was under very different and super-stressful circumstances, so I'm hoping this time will be easier and more positive.

General advice and encouragement is welcome, of course! Neither of us have much experience with trucking (no family or super-close friends or anything in the business), but we're both really hopeful that this will turn out to be a good move for us, especially financially. I'm really ready to stop living paycheck-to-paycheck, and to see my hubby succeed with some work he's actually proud of.

Hey, best of luck to you and your hubby as you start a new adventure together. If you haven't already, check out The Jade and Jon Show on YouTube. They are a youngish (late 20 ' s or early 30 ' s couple) who now team drive together. I think they started out pretty similarly in that Jon started out as a driver and Jade would occasionally ride along. After some time had passed, they decided that they wanted to team drive and now post a vlog several times a week detailing their life on the road. Check it out!