A Practical Guide For Newbie Drivers And Those Planning A Career . . .

As anyone who has spent any time on Trucking Truth knows, in an effort to help the newbies prepare for the eventualities of the truckin' lifestyle ahead, Daniel has - in the past - come up with little quizzes or "What Would You DO?" scenarios in which he presents a situation you might encounter and gives you a chance to puzzle out the proper response. In that vein, I am presenting my own version of that teaching resource to help everyone prepare for the day that anyone going to a Walmart DC (Distribution Center) will likely encounter. My version has a slightly different title, though, so let's jump right in to the first installment of "What Would Ken DO?"

OK, you drag yourself up to the receiver's guard shack at the "90" (that's Prime Slang for your final destination), having passed 15 miles of "No Parking" signs on both sides of the road leading up to your stop, and you have observed the cardinal rule and stayed in the right lane labeled "OTR" so that the Walmart Truckers can jam right by at 50 MPH and rudely "cut-in-line" ahead of the 25 trucks (you are but one of) waiting patiently for the privilege of entering the sacred lot and being ignored and insulted by the ladies in the receiving office who bite your head off when you walk up to the window without having been called with the magical phrase of, "Next!"

As you jump out of your cab, having observed another cardinal rule entitled "No Idling" and shutting down your motor (Global Warming being ever present in your consciousness), you catch what appears to be a slight smile on "Juanita's" face (hoping it wasn't just a case of bad gas that caused the expression in the first place, you know, like when a new born "smiles" at Papa - "LOOK, he smiled at me . . . No REALLY!"). So, what do you do?

1. You quickly take advantage of the rare display of human emotion that is drummed out of all "shipping/receiving" types - especially the guards at the gate - and, knowing you got here using the "Off-Duty Driving" technique so you could make that last 25 miles, you quickly figure your 10 hour reset will be available to you (since you will wait a minimum of 8 hours for the lumpers to get those last two pallets off your trailer anyway) you ask "Juanita" if she would care to join you in your "Light Weight" cab with all of its roominess for a sumptuous meal of Microwave Chicken Delight during her upcoming break.

2. You go for broke and plan ahead for your 34 hour reset since your Fleet Manager (Prime slang for the guy/gal who pulls your strings like a puppet master and ignores every QualComm inquiry about a load for at least 20 hours before asking, "Aren't you there yet?" ten minutes after sending you the instruction for your next load which is 125 miles (minimum) from where ever you are, guaranteed!) and you ask "Juanita" if she will elope with you and have your children, because you just passed a Walmart Retail store 5 miles back and every trucker knows a Walmart store is heaven-on-earth (unless they are not "Trucker Friendly" with their parking lot) and offers matrimonial services in one of the little sub-stores up front between the "Customer Service" and Bathrooms.

OK, newbie, you have to make a split second decision here because the trucker's world is packed with "hurry-up-and-wait" moments and you don't want to make the wrong decision . . . got the answer yet??

WRONG! It's number three which is you keep yer dang mouth shut because at the last second, when the light glinted off of "Juanita's" upper lip, you quickly observed a hint of a five-o-clock shadow that was not completely masked by the pancake make-up and you narrowly missed the catastrophe of letting your weeks-alone-in-a-truck-pent-up-emotions let you proposition "Juan" . . . (this is a male perspective what-if-scenario . . . for you ladies, use your own imagination to conjure up a proper counter scenario) . . .

I know this is a realistic situation because I got the information from Ken himself - from the "horse's mouth" so to speak (or more accurately from the Dinosaur's mouth because everyone knows Ken drive the purple Barney truck) and he was TRAINED by Daniel while a PSD newbie at Prime, Inc. (PSD is Prime slang for "Prime Student Driver") . . . how else would he have been so perceptive??

Jopa

And, YES, Daniel, I cracked myself up for miles thinking up this one . . .

Next week we'll explore the proper use and disposal of the "Mobile Urination Station" in which you will learn the proper technique of preventing that quart size GatorAid bottle from becoming a toxic, lethal "Trucker Bomb" along the nations highways . . .

HAHAHAHA that's too funny....

As anyone who has spent any time on Trucking Truth knows, in an effort to help the newbies prepare for the eventualities of the truckin' lifestyle ahead, Daniel has - in the past - come up with little quizzes or "What Would You DO?" scenarios in which he presents a situation you might encounter and gives you a chance to puzzle out the proper response. In that vein, I am presenting my own version of that teaching resource to help everyone prepare for the day that anyone going to a Walmart DC (Distribution Center) will likely encounter. My version has a slightly different title, though, so let's jump right in to the first installment of "What Would Ken DO?"

OK, you drag yourself up to the receiver's guard shack at the "90" (that's Prime Slang for your final destination), having passed 15 miles of "No Parking" signs on both sides of the road leading up to your stop, and you have observed the cardinal rule and stayed in the right lane labeled "OTR" so that the Walmart Truckers can jam right by at 50 MPH and rudely "cut-in-line" ahead of the 25 trucks (you are but one of) waiting patiently for the privilege of entering the sacred lot and being ignored and insulted by the ladies in the receiving office who bite your head off when you walk up to the window without having been called with the magical phrase of, "Next!"

As you jump out of your cab, having observed another cardinal rule entitled "No Idling" and shutting down your motor (Global Warming being ever present in your consciousness), you catch what appears to be a slight smile on "Juanita's" face (hoping it wasn't just a case of bad gas that caused the expression in the first place, you know, like when a new born "smiles" at Papa - "LOOK, he smiled at me . . . No REALLY!"). So, what do you do?

1. You quickly take advantage of the rare display of human emotion that is drummed out of all "shipping/receiving" types - especially the guards at the gate - and, knowing you got here using the "Off-Duty Driving" technique so you could make that last 25 miles, you quickly figure your 10 hour reset will be available to you (since you will wait a minimum of 8 hours for the lumpers to get those last two pallets off your trailer anyway) you ask "Juanita" if she would care to join you in your "Light Weight" cab with all of its roominess for a sumptuous meal of Microwave Chicken Delight during her upcoming break.

2. You go for broke and plan ahead for your 34 hour reset since your Fleet Manager (Prime slang for the guy/gal who pulls your strings like a puppet master and ignores every QualComm inquiry about a load for at least 20 hours before asking, "Aren't you there yet?" ten minutes after sending you the instruction for your next load which is 125 miles (minimum) from where ever you are, guaranteed!) and you ask "Juanita" if she will elope with you and have your children, because you just passed a Walmart Retail store 5 miles back and every trucker knows a Walmart store is heaven-on-earth (unless they are not "Trucker Friendly" with their parking lot) and offers matrimonial services in one of the little sub-stores up front between the "Customer Service" and Bathrooms.

OK, newbie, you have to make a split second decision here because the trucker's world is packed with "hurry-up-and-wait" moments and you don't want to make the wrong decision . . . got the answer yet??

WRONG! It's number three which is you keep yer dang mouth shut because at the last second, when the light glinted off of "Juanita's" upper lip, you quickly observed a hint of a five-o-clock shadow that was not completely masked by the pancake make-up and you narrowly missed the catastrophe of letting your weeks-alone-in-a-truck-pent-up-emotions let you proposition "Juan" . . . (this is a male perspective what-if-scenario . . . for you ladies, use your own imagination to conjure up a proper counter scenario) . . .

I know this is a realistic situation because I got the information from Ken himself - from the "horse's mouth" so to speak (or more accurately from the Dinosaur's mouth because everyone knows Ken drive the purple Barney truck) and he was TRAINED by Daniel while a PSD newbie at Prime, Inc. (PSD is Prime slang for "Prime Student Driver") . . . how else would he have been so perceptive??

Jopa

And, YES, Daniel, I cracked myself up for miles thinking up this one . . .

Next week we'll explore the proper use and disposal of the "Mobile Urination Station" in which you will learn the proper technique of preventing that quart size GatorAid bottle from becoming a toxic, lethal "Trucker Bomb" along the nations highways . . .

All I have to say is more.....Keep them coming ROTF LOL