Need A Bit Of Encouragement Today

You sound like you’re experiencing LIFE. Not depression. And it’s okay to be a little scared.

I was thinking the samething. everything just stated sounds like the poor me, i'm a victim mentality of people who truly don't fair well in trucking. it is everyone elses fault, my parents, my peers... out here on the road there is no one to.blame, but people still do.

there is a difference between being negative and being realistic. realistically, if you can't handle abusive people, forget trucking. Diver Driver gets the finger thrown at him constantly on the road. it doesn't bother him.

Guys used to yell and blow the horn at me and ask me when i got my license. i just yelled back and blew my horn too. if someone is going to get deeper into a depressed state by feeling like a failure, then trucking isn't for them.

realistically, you don't feel confident in trucking for months, maybe even the one year mark. if not feeling truly confident is going to affect one mentality, then don't risk your own health and that of others.

im not a doctor, but i seriously don't think anyone should put themselves or others at risk. it is irresponsible. trucking is hard enough in the beginning. you fail over and over. then when you think you got it, and everything is great...you screw up again. that is trucking. if you can't deal with life already, adding trucking won't help.

Thank you for your honesty, I appreciate it. I like many folks have my moments. This choice to change careers from being a desk jockey to a potential truck driver is the most challenging I have undertaken. Yesterday was a down moment for me.

I want to be clear , I am not suicidal or non functional , nor can I not handle life. I have already obtained a one year DoT med card, I have sleep apnea so that automatically made it a one year certification for me. I did this before even trying to find the school, consider the change etc.

I am also considering a company paid cdl school as well , I rather don't like the idea of being beholden financially to a carrier for any length of time, if however that is the route my journey must take, then I would consider that.

Didn't mean to be a burden or anything on the forum yesterday.

Thanks

Didn't mean to be a burden or anything on the forum yesterday.

You're certainly not a burden. We're glad you came to use and we're all happy to help out in any way we can.

I rather don't like the idea of being beholden financially to a carrier for any length of time, if however that is the route my journey must take, then I would consider that.

I don't think you understand how paid CDL training really works. Instead of you paying up front for a private school, you pay little or nothing up front to the carrier and they'll train you. Then, once you get your CDL and begin working for them you'll start paying back any tuition you owe, if anything.

Think about this - you're not financially obligated to the carrier. They're the ones that made the obligation to you. They invested in you. They paid for your training, gave you a place to stay, provided you with the equipment and trainers necessary to get your career underway. They know the only way you're going to pay them back is if you're successful out there. So it's in their best interest to make sure you're successful.

Read this article I wrote, it will help you understand the situation better:

Why I Prefer Paid CDL Training Over Private CDL Training

As Brett stated above do not look at going through company paid CDL training as a burden. They are investing in you and just want to recoup the investment back when you work for them. Most companies require a year commitment after school and that is nothing when you think about it and remember something that another member said, this journey is a marathon and not a sprint. Anything in life worth doing takes time and dedication even when we don't want to do anymore and all of us can understand that completely. As anyone that has struggled with life or through school when it gets hard to handle but we keep pursuing our dreams and we come out on top it is that much sweeter. I can attest to that, I just finished CDL school and had some trouble with my backing maneuvers on the test but yet when I was in the practice yard I was doing fine. So when I would test I would fail, and let me tell you I was beginning to think I wasn't cut out for this career but I kept practicing and kept listening to people that were encouraging me and didn't let myself quit even though I wanted to. I am so happy that I finally made it and the feeling was absolutely incredible knowing that I did. Look at it this way, either way both avenues are a big commitment of your part that will require you completing school before you can start to drive, but would you rather pay your own way and then be financially committed to that loan each month for how ever long the payoff is or would you rather have school paid completely and then just have the one year commitment to a company while you are getting paid in the year and no school loan to pay either???? Many companies have good programs that can fit your needs. Just do your research if you are serious about this. Good luck

Hang in there. I went company sponsored and it was awesome.

However, before you leave a job for driving, consider your depression. will the lonliness of being on the truck 20+ hours a day make you worse? many people get home sick.

what about your meds if you are on them. some companies do not allow certain meds.

would you be able to switch meds if a company asked?

how severe is your depression and under control? companies cant have suicidal drivers.

Not everyone gets hired at company orientations so do you have money to get home?

really analyze everything before you make some decisions.

Thank you for that advice. Currently I am not on any medication, my depression is not so severe that I can not function or do daily living or find myself unable to hold a job. Most of my depression stems from life circumstances (previous parental abuse -verbal and physical, peer bullying growing up and a couple of nasty relationship breakups). I really don't want to focus on the negatives of life , I have done that too much. However I am also as you suggest analyzing this and seeing if I am making the right call by doing this. I have never been in a job where it's literally "all on you" - from the waking up (not hard for me), to the trip planning , to the dealing with problems and concerns. Almost all of my jobs have been office gigs with plenty of support staff around and at least one direct supervisor i could always go to if I have questions, concerns or stuck on what decision to make.

I know trucking is truly a resilient , independent lifestyle and a part of all of this is me wondering if I have what it takes to hang with the professionals.

Personally, I don't think it's fair to say that this person is someone with a "victim" mentality. Some of the things they have been through have a HUGE impact on your life...which a lot of people do not understand, and/or do not want to understand. OP, I understand what you mean when it comes to the abuse part because I lived it myself, as a kid and teen. And yes, there are days it can be a little rough.

BUT, to get over that, you need to have more faith in yourself. You need to take the negative and use it as a means to push yourself towards success, because those who did that to you would love nothing more than to see you fail. So never let them see it. I totally get that it can still affect you, but you have to be stronger than "it". There is nothing that you can do to change your past. All that you can do is change your future.

You need to be to yourself what others were not to you when you were growing up. That means that even when it's hard, if it's worth it to you, you will see it through. The old cliche "nothing good ever comes easy", well, it doesn't always come easy. A lot of times it does not come easy.

I'm going to bet that there's a lot of people out there who want to make changes and face the same situation that you do, financially. As others have said, have a company pay for it, serve your year, and then continue on from there. You have enough left over each month to set aside even half of that for your future that only you can pave. No one will pave it for you since you don't appear to have a support system from family.

And you know what, it's okay to put them square in the past where they belong. You'll still have your days, it's okay, push through them and do what you need to do for your life to make it better.

As for doing things alone, well, ask yourself if you want to allow someone else to be in charge of your life, or if you would like to be in charge of your life for a change. Relying on yourself is one of the greatest achievements you can have in your life. You can forever work in a cube, go to your Sup for answers, or you can start to learn how to navigate life using yourself. You will become a much stronger person, you will find that your depression days are not nearly as often, and you know what? Even if you do screw something up, it's okay because all of it is a learning experience. You learn, retain that knowledge, and go on because every situation, every incident, every fail, every success is an opportunity for you to learn and find the strength in yourself. You have it, you're just not used to using it.

Use this forum to start doing for yourself. This forum has so. much. information, take the time to find it.

The next time that you have a question at work, instead of going to your Sup, try to find the answer yourself. Have FAITH that you found the right answer and use the information you found.

Give yourself a little more credit than you are right now.

Personally, I don't think it's fair to say that this person is someone with a "victim" mentality. Some of the things they have been through have a HUGE impact on your life...which a lot of people do not understand, and/or do not want to understand. OP, I understand what you mean when it comes to the abuse part because I lived it myself, as a kid and teen. And yes, there are days it can be a little rough.

Right. There's a difference between using past trauma as an excuse and being wise enough to understand and accept how your experiences have shaped you. I walk that tightrope every day. Back in the day I tried to drown out the past with positive thinking. I had no patience for weakness or the need to mourn and heal. It worked for a quite a while but ended in disaster. Now I seek balance between acknowledging my experiences but not using them as a reason to fail. That doesn't mean your weak. It's compassionate wisdom.