Time Sensitive! Breaking The News To The Family That I'm Becoming A Truck Driver!

Hi!

In about 2 hours I'm going to tell my family (#DAD) that I want to be a Truck Driver! I have been researching this for weeks, but I just got off the phone with a recruiter from Prime and committed to start training on Dec 1st. I can't put off the conversation any longer. I'm 99.9% committed and excited about the journey that which I am to embark upon... ...just not so sure that Pop's is going to share the same enthusiasm. Advice? Encouragement? At least wish me luck!

Sean, we don't know your situation so advice will be tricky. I sense that you're in your early twenties and over twenty-one, but still youngish. You'd not care about your Pops's opinion otherwise. Let me also speculate that you have been unemployed or underemployed. You may even still live at home. I think you're going into this with the attitude, "I'm not doing what I want, I'm not having any adventure in life, OMG I can't work at Good Burger any longer!" So you want to strike off on your own, on an adventure, but you still have ties to your family, Pops in particular. He may even be supporting you a bit right now. Yes, that's all speculation, but I think some of it may be true.

You definitely rely on your dad for support and advice, but now you're going to spring something on him that he most likely has no idea is coming. Here's what I want to know before I give an answer. Do you have a job now? If you do, what sort? Do you live with your parents? Did you get more than a high school education. If you did are your employed in that field? If you did go to college or university and are working in that field then your Pop's will resist a change. He'll be thinking, "if Sean continues he'll surely succeed at this. Changing is a bad choice." If however, you're underemployed or unemployed he may think, "I never consider this, Sean might be able to do it." Finally, we have no idea what your Pops thinks about your driving ability. I'm pretty sure the thinks you're not as good a driver as he is, so he'll base his feelings on how he thinks he could do as a truck driver.

Okay, here is my advice. "Pops I've been thinking a long time about this. I'm not going anywhere, happy (whatever) where I am. I want to try something new. Something that requires attention to detail and responsibility. Something vital to the economy, but not well regarded. Pops, I want to become a transport engineer!" Yeah, the last bit was silly. You need to emphasize the benefits and positives to sway a dad, keep it light and not a confrontation or showdown. Lay out how this will improve your situation. If it's just a dream you should skip it, but if you are willing to make it a job that will work hard at and excel at (see Daniel B.) than you'll win him over in the end. Dads look proudly at their children's successes.

Sean, that remark your dad made about those people going into debt almost certainly means they tried leasing or owning trucks. They may have had bad records, went to school, and never found work in the industry which landed them in debt, also. But chances are they tried leasing or owning a truck. That is where you're going to be in much better shape because you're going to avoid that mess altogether and become a company driver. So in a way your dad is right - doing what his buddies did is a bad idea! So it makes sense that he's upset about it. He doesn't realize yet that there's a better way to approach a trucking career that can lead to having nice paychecks, driving beautiful equipment, and having a great life out there on the road. So you're going to be the one to show him how it's done!

Not to mention the fact that trucking has been considered a "bottom of the barrel" career for about four decades in our society. I've mentioned to others before that the first person I told was my ma who wanted to jump straight into her grave. The second person was my neighbor, whose wife yelled, "Hemorrhoids!!!!" from the other room before her husband could get a word in. So that was my first two reactions - one person would rather be dead, the other was certain I would wind up with health problems.

So much for people sharing the enthusiasm, right???

Nothing will make your father happier than to see you making a nice living doing something you enjoy. Right now it doesn't seem like he knows too many people who had nice careers in trucking, but he's about to! You'll just have to show him how it's done.

Just tell him it's what u want to do. He could get negative about it and have things against it. Your an adult. U make ur own decisions. Yes it's good to have the support of your family at home. When I told my family they were ok with it. Ita a good time to get out there and learn so U have the winter expirence with your trainer.

Sean, as a father myself, I would tell you that any resistance that you get from your dad comes from a place of concern and (I hope and assume) caring.

Having said that, I know that when I push back on some of my kids decisions, I dig my heals in even harder if I feel like they are dismissing my advice. "Why can't they understand that I have more experience and I know what's best!" I think to myself. The thing is, if they simply let me know that they understand my concerns and will consider what I tell them (plus, if they show that they have given everything a good deal of thought and looked at the negative as well as positive) then I become more open minded.

Don't go into the conversation expecting a fight, and try to remember that, no matter how gruff, most of us grumpy old dad's just want what's best for our kids.

It's your life to live! Hopefully he'll recognize that it's a good thing for you. It's always great to have the encouragement friends & family, though not essential. Tell him it's an excellent time to get into the industry; there is a big demand for drivers! Good luck!!

Thank you all for your replies, I found them supportive and encouraging; especially Carter's because he is a father. I can honestly say that I respect my father more than anyone I know and value his opinion. That being said, the conversation did not go well. In fact it was worse case scenario. I was prepared for his reaction, but I have to say I feel discouraged. #LifeDecisions

Thank you all for your replies, I found them supportive and encouraging; especially Carter's because he is a father. I can honestly say that I respect my father more than anyone I know and value his opinion. That being said, the conversation did not go well. In fact it was worse case scenario. I was prepared for his reaction, but I have to say I feel discouraged. #LifeDecisions

What did he say that's made you feel discouraged? What did he tell you that was worst case scenario?

Worst case scenerio is my Dad is a very large individual with anger management issues and has poured concrete all his life and is prone to violence. Nothing I'm not used to because after he did raise me, but when you have a person like that with their nose in your face screaming at you, calling every mean word in the book...UGH! Well you get the point.

What he said that was discouraging was that he's known "50 guys in construction that thought they were going to go drive trucks for a living and none of them made it and they all wound up in debt!"

Bottom line is that he wasn't going to even let me explain why I think I would be good at it or why I would like it. His words were something like "your trying to sell me on something that I just told you was a bad idea!". So needless to say he's not going to support or back me up on this and I'm going to have to carry my Dad's doubts about my decision as well as my own fears that are natural for anyone to have into training.

I guess I'm going to use it as bulletin board material for motivation.

Sean, we don't know your situation so advice will be tricky. I sense that you're in your early twenties and over twenty-one, but still youngish. You'd not care about your Pops's opinion otherwise. Let me also speculate that you have been unemployed or underemployed. You may even still live at home. I think you're going into this with the attitude, "I'm not doing what I want, I'm not having any adventure in life, OMG I can't work at Good Burger any longer!" So you want to strike off on your own, on an adventure, but you still have ties to your family, Pops in particular. He may even be supporting you a bit right now. Yes, that's all speculation, but I think some of it may be true.

You definitely rely on your dad for support and advice, but now you're going to spring something on him that he most likely has no idea is coming. Here's what I want to know before I give an answer. Do you have a job now? If you do, what sort? Do you live with your parents? Did you get more than a high school education. If you did are your employed in that field? If you did go to college or university and are working in that field then your Pop's will resist a change. He'll be thinking, "if Sean continues he'll surely succeed at this. Changing is a bad choice." If however, you're underemployed or unemployed he may think, "I never consider this, Sean might be able to do it." Finally, we have no idea what your Pops thinks about your driving ability. I'm pretty sure the thinks you're not as good a driver as he is, so he'll base his feelings on how he thinks he could do as a truck driver.

Okay, here is my advice. "Pops I've been thinking a long time about this. I'm not going anywhere, happy (whatever) where I am. I want to try something new. Something that requires attention to detail and responsibility. Something vital to the economy, but not well regarded. Pops, I want to become a transport engineer!" Yeah, the last bit was silly. You need to emphasize the benefits and positives to sway a dad, keep it light and not a confrontation or showdown. Lay out how this will improve your situation. If it's just a dream you should skip it, but if you are willing to make it a job that will work hard at and excel at (see Daniel B.) than you'll win him over in the end. Dads look proudly at their children's successes.

Ha, I was writing my reply as you wrote yours, Sean. I was way off. I wish you the best of luck however you approach it.

@MichaelnS.

You were not that far off with most your reply so I appreciate your input.

Killer is that I'm 35, graduated HS, only some college, but I do have and old Microsoft certification so I have been trying to make it in the information technology industry for the last 7 years but honestly I constantly feel under qualified most of the time. After 7 years I don't feel it's right for me and I don't want to waste more money on education for something I don't want to do anymore.

I started writing more of what my situation is but it sounds ridiculous when I read it back so I'll skip it.

Problem is that Pop's still treats me like I'm a teenager. But to make a long story short I've been supporting him for months. And you were right if I am >25 then why would I care? I don't have a good answer to that one other than the obvious one which is I'm always going to love my dad; even if he is an A**hole.

Yup, think I'm just gonna need to grow a pair or at least try to go find the ones I had... ...should be around he somewhere I must have lost them... ...and continue living my life.

I have a positive attitude about life. I'm not afraid to try new things and I'm not afraid to fail. If it doesn't work out then I can always find another office job.

Think I just wanted to hear opinions from people that don't know me to pump me back up. Thanks!