Relationship With A Trucker

So awhile I ago I thought I wanted to get my CDL. I have allot of things going on at home and obligations like owning horses, I decided not to get my CDL and prosue a different career instead. The min I make this decision i meet a fantastic man who guess what is a trucker!!! After already learning so much about the industry I know this will be tough but willing to try. Who is married or dating a trucker? How do you make it work? We plan to talk everyday. Spending quality time together when he's home. Any suggestions?

Jordan, We have had several discussions on Trucking Truth about the long-distance relationship with the people at home. I can't think of a good key word to get search results. ('family"? still to broad) There are excellent points and great suggestions.

When I asked about the long time away, my wife would say "Do what you need to do." But even in that answer I knew she would prefer for me to be home more than away. On the road, I called home every evening. Talked about what I did, what she did. You know it was much the same from day to day, but we still had a conversation. The two days I was at the house were filled with the "Honey Do" things, but I would have done them anyway if I was there.

The easiest, and probably most you can do while you are on the road, is to make that call and have some talk. There are people who say "keep it light, don't bring up the 'bad' stuff." Yes, talk out even the unpleasant things. The finances belong to both of you. The kids (usually) belong to both of you. Share the good and bad.

The only warning is don't make a regular thing of telling your DM "I need to go home to fix the car" or some such. In a true emergency your DM should make your way home a real priority, but car fixes, and minor things need to wait. It's all life, and you still need to share it. Overall, this worked for me.

What helps a lot of couples now is there video chat this wasn't as easy 10 years ago or more. In my situation me and my wife have already agreed to video chat when possible so our so. Can still see my face (he's 2 right now) for me being aways not to bad but it's not so much for her . Get a good smart phone and a decent data plan or use wifi whenever possible to make those video calls home!

The last thing my husband wanted to do after he got home was drive anywhere, but he still wanted to be able to see friends and family. When i knew he was on his way back, I'd sometimes organize informal get-togethers like a bbq, poker night, or whatever at our house for the day after he got home. I always made sure his friends knew they were welcome any time he was home, and always had extra room at the table for them. Even though I'd have rather been selfish and had him all to myself the whole time, I knew it was important for him to maintain his friendships too.

Meet him at the front door with a mattress strapped to your back ;-)

Seriously though, the biggest thing is to let him know how much you love and appreciate him and the sacrifices he's making. It's the little things that make the biggest impression.

Oh, and when it's time for him to leave.. don't cry.

The mail man is going to be a happy guy.

Congratulations on meeting a fantastic man! That is the hardest part. Being in a relationship with a trucker is not easy, but can be sooo worth it. I began thinking seriously about a career in trucking last summer. But I still have a 15 year-old child at home, so cannot go OTR for awhile yet. I hope to one day get my CDL-A and join the ranks. But I did meet a wonderful trucker last October and we are going strong after nearly a year. We talk on the phone everyday, usually only for about ten minutes though. He's usually driving at the time and I don't want to distract him for long. We also text every few hours or so. I'm lucky in that he is a regional driver of sorts and is only gone for about 12 days at a time, then home for two or three. (But I was a Navy wife for 15 years, so have gone through separations for up to 9 months! And back before the internet and cell phones - we had snail mail only!) I think one of the most important things you can do is to keep yourself busy with something that you love. Horses can be a wonderful distraction from your time apart. And a job that you enjoy. It will make his time away seem to go faster and easier.