Not Sure Which Way To Proceed

Guys, I don't know what to do, and my mind is going in circles trying to figure it out. I still want to do this truck thing. I really, really do. You know what happened at Prime. I worked so hard and learned everything and demonstrated I could do everything but was so sick the whole time with fever and...well I'll spare the details, but I messed up so bad on testing day and got sent home. The guy, though- I appreciate how obviously he did not relish giving me this news and emphasized that I'm smart and I can do it, and I can come back. I'd love to come back! After my CDL , though, and I don't have one yet.

And I'd love to go to a school. They recommended Sage, but I don't live near Sage, I don't live near any CDL school which means I have to do company sponsored training again which means I'm down to Swift and CR England. I signed up for Swift on the 20th, but I'm terrified I'll have a bad day again. And fail again. And get sent home again. I keep telling myself how I learned everything. I did it. I know I can, but still I worry. Maybe I'm not cut out for this, after all. Maybe that's why I got sick. Tough truck drivers do not get sick.

I think what's making this all so horrifying is that my son is waiting on me to do this so I can help him with something he wants to do. Only because I told him I would, but now he's waiting on me. If it were just me, I'd take my time, and it'll happen when it happens, but when your family is counting on you...and I keep trying to figure out how to do to a school like Prime said, but I can't figure out how to do that. And company sponsored training moved too fast for me, I guess. Did it? Or was I just sick. I don't know. All I know is I failed. I'm not sure what to do.

Please advise.

I know what it's like to disappoint you kid, I understand how you feel. The thing here is that you need to put all of that out of your head. You've picked a company and they're going to guide you, but this is all on you. We all fail at some point or another, it's human nature. That doesn't define you, though. It's how you handle it that defines you. It's not how many times you get knocked down; its how fast you get up each time. Your son is waiting on you, but that doesn't mean he's disappointed in you or having any negative feelings towards you. This process is stressful beginning to end because you either really want it or really need it. Nobody goes through this for just a job. Go to your training ask a million and one questions, take a bunch of notes and show them your serious. They'll be more than happy to help you and invest in you. Bad days are the beginning. The days get better as you go on.

Hey Lynn H., just to add to what Banks just said, what happened at Prime doesn't even exist anymore. The past is no longer a barrier except in your mind. The more you feed that negativity, the more power/fuel you're adding to it. If you replace that negativity with perseverance, ambition, drive, etc., the more successful you'll be in this endeavor. Your pressuring yourself where no pressure is necessary.

You have a leg up on everyone else going through your process at Swift. You've been through it all already. You know you have the capacity to succeed. You need to stop stressing, stop creating barriers that aren't even there. When you say you were "sick", how would you define your experience with that "sickness"? It's not that I want you to explain it here, I would like for you to take that question & sincerely explore how it developed & how it got the best of you. I say that in the hope that you can/will recognize the "sickness" as it arises then not allow it to control you or your behavior.

As Banks stated, this bump in the road doesn't define you. You haven't stopped trying or given up. You found someone else willing to take a chance on you. Now it's up to you to prove, YOURSELF wrong. That you can & will succeed. Not for your son, not for anyone other than yourself. If it's that important to you, you will find a way through this. I wish you all the best. God bless. Good luck & stay safe.

Thanks, guys. I do believe this is all in my head. Just sometimes I need the outside verification. Because, you know, my head.

Remember; failure is an event, not a character trait. Focus on your accomplishments and try to build on them. It will happen for you. Good luck.

Over the years I've done a lot of things that were risky and had me under pressure to perform. I learned a long time ago that there's one gigantic difference between those who do well under pressure and those who don't. It's simple to understand but difficult to execute.

The people who do well under pressure are able to keep their mind focused on the job at hand and on what they need to do to complete the task successfully. Those who crack under pressure are unable to stop thinking about the consequences of making a mistake.

This isn't something that ever becomes natural. It isn't natural to ignore the consequences. It takes fierce mental discipline to maintain that focus on the challenge you're facing and what you're doing to overcome that challenge. Every time you stop to think, "But what if....?" you've lost your focus and you're one step closer to making those consequences a reality.

Step back, assess the situation, and decide if you want to become a truck driver or not. If you do decide to go through with it then put all thoughts of failure or consequences completely out of your mind and never allow them to return, even for a moment. Focus 100% of your thoughts and actions on moving yourself closer to achieving that goal.

Feeling like you're well prepared and fully committed to the challenge will also help relax you a bit. Go "all in" without any consideration of the possibility of failure. One nice thing about trucking is that you can just keep at it until you make it. This isn't you're one shot at an Olympic medal. With trucking, as long as you don't quit you will certainly succeed.

Right on. Thanks for your wise and thoughtful answer.

While I don’t subscribe to ever giving up, a person also grows when they recognize their limitations and that doing something more for someone else, than yourself doesn’t guarantee success.

I recommend you call on some friends or family who REALLY know you. Ask their opinion of how you handle situations. See if learning from that information can help you in this pursuit. But your son may need to recognize that his desires may need to depend on his skills and abilities. My son is good at some things I’m not, and vice versa.

Good luck.👍