Any Advice On How To Deal With Leaving Family?

Topic 20198 | Page 1

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Nate W's Comment
member avatar

I start with Roehl transport on Monday to get my cdl. I leave on Sunday to drive there. Problem is that my wife and I are really not looking forward to that day. Its going to be very emotional for the both of us since we've never been apart for that long in the 5 years that we've been married. Any advice/tips on how to cope with this?

CDL:

Commercial Driver's License (CDL)

A CDL is required to drive any of the following vehicles:

  • Any combination of vehicles with a gross combined weight rating (GCWR) of 26,001 or more pounds, providing the gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) of the vehicle being towed is in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any single vehicle with a GVWR of 26,001 or more pounds, or any such vehicle towing another not in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any vehicle, regardless of size, designed to transport 16 or more persons, including the driver.
  • Any vehicle required by federal regulations to be placarded while transporting hazardous materials.
Pete B.'s Comment
member avatar

My wife and I went through same thing. Since I left, we've talked every day, and several times using Facebook Messenger's video call feature. It hasn't been easy, but we are okay. She's coming to ride with me for several weeks in January... I'll take a few days off and we'll spend some quality time outside the truck before she begins riding with me. We also email quite a bit, and I send her a steady stream of photos.

You'll be preoccupied with your training for as long as that lasts, but once you get out there on your own with just your thoughts to keep you company, that's when you have to remember there's a reason you're doing this, and that hopefully the sacrifice will be worth it. Best of luck to you!

Dan R.'s Comment
member avatar

Yeah, the key is communication. In this industry you can forget about smothering, there is no such thing as too much communication(unless I suppose it affects your driving...). Text, call, video call. My one of the folks I rode with would send souvenirs home from every state he'd go into. But basically communication, and accepting the fact that you're not going to make it easy, just less hard.

Truckin Along With Kearse's Comment
member avatar

Don't leave on a "special day", especially the wife's birthday!

And be sure to send flowers or some gift from amazon if you are going to be away on a special day like that

Video chat while you are gone. Talk on the phone. Its not as bad as people think. But the. I'm cold hearted, lol

Nate W's Comment
member avatar

Thank you all for the words of encouragement and advice. I know its going to be tough but we will make it. We've been through a lot of ups and downs since we've been together and this will be another trying time. I'm definitely gonna talk to her every day. Once I get there and get started, I'm sure I will be fine and I hope she can find things to keep her mind busy as well. I look forward to the day I come home and show her that I made it and got my cdl....and of course lots of hugs and kisses!

CDL:

Commercial Driver's License (CDL)

A CDL is required to drive any of the following vehicles:

  • Any combination of vehicles with a gross combined weight rating (GCWR) of 26,001 or more pounds, providing the gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) of the vehicle being towed is in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any single vehicle with a GVWR of 26,001 or more pounds, or any such vehicle towing another not in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any vehicle, regardless of size, designed to transport 16 or more persons, including the driver.
  • Any vehicle required by federal regulations to be placarded while transporting hazardous materials.
Daniel B.'s Comment
member avatar

I went trucking just a few short months after getting married. I left during the honeymoon phase. Now that was difficult.

This will be more difficult for her in my opinion. You had your things you did and she had her things she did, now she has to continue doing her things and absorb all of your duties too.

There's no secret answer. This will strain, stress, and test your relationship. I'm sure you'll prevail though.

Surprise her with letters, flowers and always keep that communication strong.

Nate W's Comment
member avatar

You know, I thought we were past the honeymoon phase after 5 years, but I guess we still love each other more than I thought lol. I was thinking this wasn't going to be too hard to pack my stuff and go last week when we would talk about it. I was wrong. These last few days were emotional and today is not going to be easy but I gotta do it. I gotta try following my dream. I don't know if otr will be for me but I'm going to fulfill my contract with Roehl and see what happens. I might find something in my area that gets me home every night. With a cdl , my options are endless around my town. There are a lot of jobs that want someone with a cdl.

CDL:

Commercial Driver's License (CDL)

A CDL is required to drive any of the following vehicles:

  • Any combination of vehicles with a gross combined weight rating (GCWR) of 26,001 or more pounds, providing the gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) of the vehicle being towed is in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any single vehicle with a GVWR of 26,001 or more pounds, or any such vehicle towing another not in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any vehicle, regardless of size, designed to transport 16 or more persons, including the driver.
  • Any vehicle required by federal regulations to be placarded while transporting hazardous materials.

OTR:

Over The Road

OTR driving normally means you'll be hauling freight to various customers throughout your company's hauling region. It often entails being gone from home for two to three weeks at a time.

OWI:

Operating While Intoxicated

Jason's Comment
member avatar

In my case it is never easy to go back out. I was OTR for 2 years obtained a very good paying local job, and then was injured on the job(herniated a disc in my neck, which required surgery) then when I came back to work my position was filled and then was back at square one. Going from being home everyday to back out on the road, as in my area the majority of local jobs are not great paying. It is hard for us. However we chat any chance we get, someone above mentioned video chat, that helps as well. Its never an easy transition. OTR trucking is as much of a lifestyle as it is a career. Some people outside of truck driving don't understand the sacrifices a truck driver and their families make in order for each and everything we all have is brought to them by a truck driver

OTR:

Over The Road

OTR driving normally means you'll be hauling freight to various customers throughout your company's hauling region. It often entails being gone from home for two to three weeks at a time.

Dart's Comment
member avatar

If you find that OTR isn't for you, check with your fleet manager after your Phase 3 training is complete. Roehl does have their Hometime Plus fleets (7/7, 7/3 7/4, etc...) that MIGHT be available in your area. Check and see what is available.

Also, if you live close enough to a drop yard or terminal , Roehl does have some limited local positions available.

Terminal:

A facility where trucking companies operate out of, or their "home base" if you will. A lot of major companies have multiple terminals around the country which usually consist of the main office building, a drop lot for trailers, and sometimes a repair shop and wash facilities.

OTR:

Over The Road

OTR driving normally means you'll be hauling freight to various customers throughout your company's hauling region. It often entails being gone from home for two to three weeks at a time.

Fleet Manager:

Dispatcher, Fleet Manager, Driver Manager

The primary person a driver communicates with at his/her company. A dispatcher can play many roles, depending on the company's structure. Dispatchers may assign freight, file requests for home time, relay messages between the driver and management, inform customer service of any delays, change appointment times, and report information to the load planners.
LDRSHIP's Comment
member avatar

My wife had a difficult time adjusting, she still has those days where it really gets to her. I am not nearly as bothered by it, but then again 17 1/2 years in the military, 3 combat tours, and countless field exercises have made me rather numb to the process. Unfortunately my wife wasn't with me during any of that.

I talk to her several times a day. We play games together thru messenger. Things of that nature. She has also been out with me several times.

HOS:

Hours Of Service

HOS refers to the logbook hours of service regulations.
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