20 Signs You Might Be A Serious Truck Driver

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Deplorable Numero Uno's Comment
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Hello Forum!

Are you a Serious Truck Driver? Read the list to find out. You should be able to check off most of these tell-tale signs....

1) You pity the fool with an automatic transmission restriction.

2) Like a Bald Eagle, you soar independent and free, and it amuses you your Driver Manager thinks he’s your boss.

3) You’ve visited every state in this Great Country. All 48 of ‘em.

4) Of the 48 states that constitute this Great Country, your favorite one is Canada in the Spring.

5) Your hands free device is part of your ear now.

6) Without you America stops, which makes you the greatest American Hero ever, except for, maybe, veterans.

7) Of course if you’re both a veteran AND a trucker, you’ll write it all over your tractor so we commoners know to throw rose petals before your every step.

8) You own a camouflage wallet, flashlight, phone charger, steering wheel cover, clothes (duh), etc. But you’re too busy trucking to actually hunt. Except, of course, for that monster buck you bagged in that arcade game that’s in every fifth truck stop in the Nation.

9) You feel morally obligated to tell total strangers how much money you make.

10) You have a variegated taste in music. From Classic Country to Country Rock, and everything in between, you leave no musical stone unturned.

11) You put safety first. That’s why you always perform a thorough pre-trip, complete with in-cab inspection, and air brakes test. (Okay, calm down, this one was just a joke.)

12) You put safety first. That’s why you drive extra carefully when you also watch Netflix on your phone. (This one is not a joke; my own trainer watched Netflix while driving. Sad.)

13) Instead of picking a lane at a full fuel island, you stop a couple dozen yards back, because you think that means you’re in line for all of them. And you lose your sh*t when I drive straight past you, and pick a lane for myself.

14) Ahh, the fuel island, the perfect place for lunch and a shower.

15) You believe one shower every three days is perfectly acceptable. And you’ll make fun of me for sometimes taking two a day. You might even make a ridiculous argument that it’s bad for my skin or something.

16) You pooped in your truck at least once. You’d deny it even under torture. But I know what you did, you know what you did, and everyone on this forum knows what you did.

17) You wonder what this “Fitness Room” is. The walls seem to be made as the same material as your windshield, but inside, unusual machinery of possibly extraterrestrial origin. It must certainly be dangerous; you’ve never seen anybody in there.

18) The three things you hate the most: 3) DOT , 2) electronic logs , 1) New York City (and everyone living there).

19) The three things you love the most: 3) your family, 2) God, 1) trucks (especially 18-speed Peterbilts).

20) And if there’s anything you do love more than trucks, it’s ‘Merica! You are the original Gadsden flag flying, Old Glory saluting, veteran thanking, apple pie munching, 4th of July celebrating, freedom loving, communism despising, Republican voting, deer hunting, gun toting, Bible clinging, Jesus worshiping, God fearing, All-American Patriot. Yet, sometimes, you miss your native Eastern Europe/Sub-Saharan Africa/or India.

So are you the real deal? Have I missed any signs? I’d love to read some additions to this list from you guys! Thanks for reading!

Electronic Logs:

Electronic Onboard Recorder

Electronic Logbook

A device which records the amount of time a vehicle has been driven. If the vehicle is not being driven, the operator will manually input whether or not he/she is on duty or not.

DOT:

Department Of Transportation

A department of the federal executive branch responsible for the national highways and for railroad and airline safety. It also manages Amtrak, the national railroad system, and the Coast Guard.

State and Federal DOT Officers are responsible for commercial vehicle enforcement. "The truck police" you could call them.

Driver Manager:

Dispatcher, Fleet Manager, Driver Manager

The primary person a driver communicates with at his/her company. A dispatcher can play many roles, depending on the company's structure. Dispatchers may assign freight, file requests for home time, relay messages between the driver and management, inform customer service of any delays, change appointment times, and report information to the load planners.

EPU:

Electric Auxiliary Power Units

Electric APUs have started gaining acceptance. These electric APUs use battery packs instead of the diesel engine on traditional APUs as a source of power. The APU's battery pack is charged when the truck is in motion. When the truck is idle, the stored energy in the battery pack is then used to power an air conditioner, heater, and other devices

Bobcat_Bob's Comment
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I'm like a 1.5, does that mean I am not serious?

Cwc's Comment
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Well... most of that list leaves me out.

Guess I'll just have to continue faking it.

Fatsquatch 's Comment
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Dial it back there, Captain Stereotype. You're completely off the mark across the board.

Cwc's Comment
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Dial it back there, Captain Stereotype. You're completely off the mark across the board.

So? I'm not the only one?

All I took away from this is that OP has at one point or another taken a dump in his truck "at least" once.wtf-2.gif

Will H.'s Comment
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I am sure he his just goofing....I hope he is goofing.....ok I don't even drive yet and I already know guys that would be a 20 out of 20.

PlanB's Comment
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Clearly I'm just a guy who drives a truck for a living. Definitely not a truck driver.

∆_Danielsahn_∆'s Comment
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Yes, My hands free is my 3rd ear. As for the rest, I guess I will be happy as a fake trucker.

Deplorable Numero Uno's Comment
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Hello Bobcat Bob, Cwc, and Fatsquatch,

Thank you for your replies, but the list itself is clearly just a joke. Don't take it too seriously! Maybe you have a few funny suggestions of your own to add to this list?

Have fun, Deplorable Numero Uno

Rainy D.'s Comment
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I'm fascinated by this post. The OP was 32 yrs old and working a minimum wage and only had a drivers license a few months before coming to the forum. He couldnt understand why more driving experience would be required.

His next post listed why he didnt like CRE and how even though he wasnt out of training yet, he was leaving after the 9 month contract was up and taking 3 mos off from OTR life because after only a few months he was tired of it.

He went on a long explanation that reefer drivers have their time wasted when they forget to fill the reefer, have to prime it and then wait for the road assist people to get then to a ThermoKing. Do your darn job and that wouldnt happen!

He then questioned us as to whether he would have to tell future companies of his accident. DUH!

Sir, you have no right to compile a list such as this that yes can be funny in some ways and totally offesnsive in others.

If veterans.... who spilled blood for.our country and suffered through things you couldnt ever possibly imagine and would cower in a corner and cry for your mommy over....if they want to decorate their trucks, then damn right, "God Bless America and thank you for your service" is what they should hear. not something that makes them sound like immature boastful.children.

not to mention you are sexist assuming all drivers are men. i dont usually throw the feminism card out cause i hate it. but reading this shows you have little respect for truckers and im sure even less for women. Plus, you are so green, you dont have the skills to out truck me.

OTR:

Over The Road

OTR driving normally means you'll be hauling freight to various customers throughout your company's hauling region. It often entails being gone from home for two to three weeks at a time.

Reefer:

A refrigerated trailer.

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