Things Are Bad, Running Out Of Time

The problem is I wind up way in the wrong place even knowing this

Can it be that you are moving back so fast that you do not have enough time to realize that you are heading in the wrong direction? Have you tried to slow down?

That is possible. Another cause may be that there is a 5-7 second delay before a turn in the steering wheel results in a visible change at the tandems or back of the trailer. Usually by then it’s too late to correct.

At this point my head is just fried beyond all comprehension. I’m sure that there are people out there worse than me at backing with this level of practice and this much investment from their company, but I just can’t see how.

I can say beyond all shadow of a doubt that I’ve never been worse at anything in my life. Not to toot my own horn, or sound arrogant because that is not my intent, but pretty much everything I’ve ever attempted in life I’ve been good at very quickly. Academics, athletics, stressful jobs, you name it, I’ve been preternaturally gifted. Now I’ve found something that I’m genuinely terrible at, don’t seem to be making any measurable improvement at, and am growing quite tired of the daily feeling of failure.

I want this, but the universe may be sending me a signal this isn’t for me. Maybe I should go back to something I’m good at.

All I can say I I wish you the best in the meeting. Good luck driver.

Stop calling for help. Be a professional and get the damn trailer in there.

Thanks for the encouragement, *******.

I realize that now but it’s too late.

Go **** yourself you piece of ****.

Eugene,

I know Sid's response came across cold--especially with everything you are going through--but really it might be a good attitude. You just gotta do it.

Your situation reminds me years ago when I bought my wife a new car with a manual tranny. Thing is she never had driven one, but was sure she could do it with my instruction. Days went by with me (patiently) showing her the ropes, but she just couldn't get the hang of it. Then I had the bright idea to let her have it on her own. I got out of the car and left her in a parking lot of a mall. It was totally up to her. Failure not an option. Amazing thing is that a couple of hours later she was buzzing around the lot shifting gears like a champ.

You have the desire; you're a smart guy judging from all the posts you have placed on this forum.

You gonna let backing take you down? No you're not.

No You Are Not.

You're the captain. Take care of that ship.

Eugene,

I had this long beautifully written post, that failed to ... post. As I cussed at my keyboard...I realized you had posted since I began my post, and you addressed exactly what I was getting at in my post...and that was getting into your own head, overthinking, etc.

But I have one question...was the "Titanic" moment when everything started to go bad for you? or had it begun way before then?

Thanks Xnihilo. The problem is that the calls for help have been made and can’t be undone. The conversations that have been had cannot be unspoken.

Had I simply kept my mouth shut and not made a call to ask for help (imagine that, a student asking for help...), I probably would have eventually gotten it in there, whether it took me another hour or not. The problem—and these are their words, not mine—is that 1 hour to back isn’t acceptable. 45 minutes to back is not acceptable. Hell, 30 minutes to back isn’t acceptable, if I’m at a vendor like Wal-Mart or Costco (their words, and major customers of ours). I don’t have unlimited time to figure it out, and time has run out. This is the “final exam,” as they repeated ad nauseam today.

I’ll repeat myself: calling to ask for help may have been a career-killing mistake. If I’m given another chance, it’s one I won’t make again. We will find out tomorrow.

John, I’ve struggled with my backing from the start, but eventually came to the acceptance that I would continue to struggle with it and would eventually get it.

The general consensus on the site seems to be that everyone is terrible at backing for a very long time, but eventually gets it, and not to worry.

Suddenly, my “titanic” moment occurs, and I struggle with backing quite visibly under everyone’s watchful eye during the final exam week. All of my successful backs seem not to matter, and all the advice on this site about not worrying and taking all the time I need so long as I don’t hit anything, seems to be wrong.

I haven’t hit anything, and get out and look obsessively. I just take too long, then ask for help. And now I’m at risk of not completing the program. I’m not blaming anyone but myself since I’m the one who can’t perform, but I do feel a bit misled as no one ever told me taking too long was unacceptable until now. Neither from Wilson nor from anybody on this site.

You are right about everything but one thing...

It isn't a career killer. Even if your time there is indeed done...you can find a way. You say you want this...but willing to just give up? Get yourself up, dust yourself off and get er done...even if somewhere else.

Thanks Xnihilo. The problem is that the calls for help have been made and can’t be undone. The conversations that have been had cannot be unspoken.

Had I simply kept my mouth shut and not made a call to ask for help (imagine that, a student asking for help...), I probably would have eventually gotten it in there, whether it took me another hour or not. The problem—and these are their words, not mine—is that 1 hour to back isn’t acceptable. 45 minutes to back is not acceptable. Hell, 30 minutes to back isn’t acceptable, if I’m at a vendor like Wal-Mart or Costco (their words, and major customers of ours). I don’t have unlimited time to figure it out, and time has run out. This is the “final exam,” as they repeated ad nauseam today.

I’ll repeat myself: calling to ask for help may have been a career-killing mistake. If I’m given another chance, it’s one I won’t make again. We will find out tomorrow.

Thanks Xnihilo. The problem is that the calls for help have been made and can’t be undone. The conversations that have been had cannot be unspoken.

Had I simply kept my mouth shut and not made a call to ask for help (imagine that, a student asking for help...), I probably would have eventually gotten it in there, whether it took me another hour or not. The problem—and these are their words, not mine—is that 1 hour to back isn’t acceptable. 45 minutes to back is not acceptable. Hell, 30 minutes to back isn’t acceptable, if I’m at a vendor like Wal-Mart or Costco (their words, and major customers of ours). I don’t have unlimited time to figure it out, and time has run out. This is the “final exam,” as they repeated ad nauseam today.

I’ll repeat myself: calling to ask for help may have been a career-killing mistake. If I’m given another chance, it’s one I won’t make again. We will find out tomorrow.

It wasn't wrong to ask for help. Anyone starting out better ask for help in this industry. Safety before pride.

Serious prayers for you, my friend. We all want to hear some good news from you tomorrow. You're going through this for a reason. When you master it you'll be able to encourage others going through this baptism of fire.

Eugene - the indisputable fact is that you CAN do this. You have successfully backed. Not consistently enough for you, or apparently for your company. But you have done it, and you can do it again. It's demonstrably not beyond your physical or mental capacity. As noted earlier, nerves don't move the trailer, and for that matter neither do the fates, or random chance. Specific control inputs (steering, braking, acceleration) have specific, repeatable effects on the truck's motion, every time. Without knowing the specifics of your situation, I'll suggest that one possibility is that you make a steering input, but don't get the desired result because you haven't given it enough time. So you steer back the other way, or oversteer. I did, and sometimes still do this. I'm creeping along so slowly, or am at a complete standstill, so no matter how much I turn the wheel, it does nothing.

Anyway, this is meant as a pep talk of sorts, so please take it as such. Go get 'em!