First Few Months Trucker Wife - Am I Overreacting?

Topic 27333 | Page 2

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Truckin Along With Kearse's Comment
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Stop the worrying about JB Hunt. Prime doesnt have a waiting period for riders.. so believe them.

smile.gifgood-luck.gif

Jeremy's Comment
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Keep in mine when you get behind the wheel that there may be points in your carreer you will face adversity as tough as facing mom for to long Having your husband to rely will help but dont forget about the stress that puts on him i know this cause im a husband that trained my wife which was as or more challenging than learning myself best of luck to you

IDMtnGal 's Comment
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Amelia, when I hear from my brother, I will let you know. While he left JB a year ago, he is still in touch with a friend who is driving for them out of Chicago. Laura

My brother said that at the time he left it was 6 mths for a passenger but they were talking about lowering it to 3 mths.

Laura

Brett Aquila's Comment
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Amelia,

It's super important that you remain patient and don't let yourself get caught up in the stress of thinking that things must happen now!!! You're not in any kind of danger. You're not about to miss any big opportunities. I know you're not in your dream situation at the moment, but you'll never get there if you make decisions that are quick-fixes for the short term but hurt your progress long term.

I know that being away from each other sucks. There's no sugarcoating that. But you'll be together before long and he'll have his career established on solid ground with the company that trained him. That's critical to success in this industry. New drivers have no idea how tenuous their careers are that first year. We've watched countless drivers either quit their job or get fired before fulfilling their contract and struggle mightily to find another opportunity. Some never do, and just give up on their career.

Do whatever you can to support each other during this struggle and it will pay off for you in a big way. Getting through this first year with CR England should be the #1 goal. After that, you'll have tons of choices if you were to switch companies or you'll be solidly established right where you're at. But if he screws up his first job in his rookie year it's going to be an uphill battle for a while, far more difficult than you have it now.

Hang in there! Stick around and we'll be happy to help you guys get through this. You're far from alone, I can promise you. We're always here for ya and we're happy to help out.

Amelia M.'s Comment
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Oh he has no intention of quitting unless it's after he's with Hunt. It sucks to do that but it's too risky otherwise. I know it would be much better to wait out the year and I really wish our situation allowed it, but you made a mistaken assumption right off the bat. I am in danger the longer I'm here. My mother has a very long and frequently updated history of domestic violence in relation to her illness. Fortunately it's gotten much better over the years and I've got a lot of practice avoiding triggering it or being the target but a year is a long time to push the risk again. Unfortunately, I really don't have anywhere else to go.

Rob T.'s Comment
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Amelia, to be honest the problem isnt CRE, its everything else going on. If it's that bad where you're at why did you agree to stay there in the first place. Communication is always best, but you may be making your husband overwhelmed with the stress with getting his career underway and then dealing with what's going on at home.

I doubt JB Hunt is going to solve the issues. He needs to stay and get a year in at CRE. We have a member here that started at JB Hunt after getting his CDL from a private school. He unfortunately got hurt on the job and was fired. They dont have any skin in the game. It could happen at any carrier. New drivers are a liability. This particular member has been turned down by most companies and then got sent home from multiple companies because they felt he didnt catch on quick enough. Your husband started at CRE, they expect him to make mistakes. I worry if he leaves before he has a year and has an accident (which is common as a rookie) he will have a heck of a time getting anybody to give him another chance.

CDL:

Commercial Driver's License (CDL)

A CDL is required to drive any of the following vehicles:

  • Any combination of vehicles with a gross combined weight rating (GCWR) of 26,001 or more pounds, providing the gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) of the vehicle being towed is in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any single vehicle with a GVWR of 26,001 or more pounds, or any such vehicle towing another not in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any vehicle, regardless of size, designed to transport 16 or more persons, including the driver.
  • Any vehicle required by federal regulations to be placarded while transporting hazardous materials.
Rob T.'s Comment
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Oh he has no intention of quitting unless it's after he's with Hunt. It sucks to do that but it's too risky otherwise.

how is he going to do that? Just because hes invited to orientation does not mean he's hired. If he attends orientation while on hometime with CRE how is he going to quit CRE when JB Hunt is expecting him to take a load at the end of the orientation week. If he were to abandon the truck he can basically kiss his career as a driver goodbye.

Brett Aquila's Comment
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Rob gave a ton of fantastic advice, all of which I agree with wholeheartedly.

you may be making your husband overwhelmed with the stress with getting his career underway and then dealing with what's going on at home.

That is a critical point, and it's something that happens all the time. People at home start dumping all of their problems on the driver who is already dealing with an overwhelming amount of job stress, guilt for not being at home to help, and exhausting days. It's just overwhelming. People at home feel left behind so they expect all of this support and sympathy but they have no idea how difficult life is on the road for the driver.

Amelia, you have to start making intelligent long-term decisions if you ever want to build a life for yourselves. So many people do nothing but put out fires and react to urgent matters all the time because they fail to plan properly and never make short term sacrifices for long term gains. You're saying you're in a desperate situation that must change now. You're dumping all kinds of stress on your husband instead of supporting him during his own difficulties.

Listen, you don't even have any children or any property and yet you're living with your mother? Now your husband is supposed to deal with that on top of everything else?

I really want to see you and your husband reach your goals, but in order for that to happen, you have to at least support your husband while he's trying to get his career underway. I mean, let's be honest about this situation for a moment - you're not in an urgent situation. You're living with your mother! Your husband is out there trying to make things happen. Now it's time for you to step up and make things happen. If you don't want to live with your mother then do something about that yourself. If you convince your husband to change jobs and he messes up his career, then what?

You have to take action and make things happen for yourself. You and your husband are a team. He's out there taking care of things on the road. Until you can be out there with him, you have to step up and take care of things at home.

Rob T.'s Comment
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Amelia, I'm glad you're here and I mean no disrespect at all but is it possible to have your husband create an account here? Sometimes things get lost in translation and this website is a great resource for everybody. I've had my CDL about 2 1/2 years and still learning a ton here. We all donate our time to helping others be successful. We drive for many different companies doing many different types of work in this industry. "Viking" is a CRE driver and can give him company specific advice based on his experiences.

CDL:

Commercial Driver's License (CDL)

A CDL is required to drive any of the following vehicles:

  • Any combination of vehicles with a gross combined weight rating (GCWR) of 26,001 or more pounds, providing the gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) of the vehicle being towed is in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any single vehicle with a GVWR of 26,001 or more pounds, or any such vehicle towing another not in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any vehicle, regardless of size, designed to transport 16 or more persons, including the driver.
  • Any vehicle required by federal regulations to be placarded while transporting hazardous materials.
Amelia M.'s Comment
member avatar

Well, Rob, that's a lot of what I was worried about. He's been talking to a recruiter there for a few weeks and an on boarding specialist but I really don't know how much of what they tell him he should rely on. They say working around his home time and scheduling/location isn't an issue, among other things. I've already told him not to abandon a load, to wait until he's on off time to do the orientation and just be really sure this is what he wants to do and it seems it is. The separation is the only part he doesn't like and by that I mean it's causing him some serious anxiety. Still I'm pretty hesitant about him leaving CRE also - not because of the repayment but precisely because I don't know if he should trust what the recruiter is telling him and I don't want him to really jeopardize his future so I'm trying to get a realistic idea of how much danger of that he's really in.

He's also not 100% new to the field. He's done commercial driving between Atlanta, Huntsville, Miami, Virginia, Chicago, and even out to Texas starting from shortly after getting a driver's license. It was just with a small company and in a 26' box truck. So the vehicle is new, but the long hours, the unpredictability, the joys of receiving policies conflicting with driver schedules, etc. None of that aspect is new. Heck, he's even changed out trucks on the side of the road by moving the cargo from one to another - fine art. Trucks he loaded himself and unloaded himself so he has an excellent feel for a balanced load and the importance of one. We rode The Dragon in one of those things and we loved it - well, I loved it after the fact. Yes, I was his passenger then. I even drove once and it was harrowing. At that time he wasn't required to have a CDL for that job and so there were no rules about how many hours he could drive in a day or week.

I don't call him telling him how everything here is awful and he needs to be supportive it whatever appears to be going on in your head, Brett. We're partners. He's aware of my situation and I'm aware of his because we have very good communication and have been blessed with an extremely happy, extremely close relationship for all of our 19 years together. I'm happy for any advice and consideration on a professional level but please don't ever presume to lecture me in regards to my personal life and most especially my marriage again. I appreciate the resource you've built here immensely, but you don't know me, you don't know my husband, and you don't know my situation.

CDL:

Commercial Driver's License (CDL)

A CDL is required to drive any of the following vehicles:

  • Any combination of vehicles with a gross combined weight rating (GCWR) of 26,001 or more pounds, providing the gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) of the vehicle being towed is in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any single vehicle with a GVWR of 26,001 or more pounds, or any such vehicle towing another not in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any vehicle, regardless of size, designed to transport 16 or more persons, including the driver.
  • Any vehicle required by federal regulations to be placarded while transporting hazardous materials.

HOS:

Hours Of Service

HOS refers to the logbook hours of service regulations.

OWI:

Operating While Intoxicated

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