Should He Go?

My husband is really interested in going to get his cdl and has been accepted to a company sponsored cdl program. But he's also hesitant to go because he would be leaving behind me and our 5 month old son during the training program since it's located a state away. He doesn't want to miss out on the milestones. I recognize this is a good opportunity for him since we can't afford to send him to a local program and he really needs a career focus. What kind of words of wisdom could I give him to feel more comfortable about going for this training?

He's not abandoning his family, he's providing for it. It's a part of being an adult. Not the best part but we can't change it.

If he does this he'll probably be gone longer than the training period.

You have to make sacrifices in life. Missing milestones isn't nice but you have to do what's best for the family's long term success. I know it's not quite the same as being there but with today's technology and being able to send recorded videos and even stream live images makes it a lot easier to share special moments than in the past. Hope this ends well for everyone.

I just started driving solo myself. I'm in the hospital right now as my son was born yesterday. My wife and I understand the sacrifice, but I must provide for my family. I know I'll miss some things but he will be taken care of. Also the experience I gain will hopefully lead to more opportunities.

Erin, that "milestone" question is excellent. Yes, Daddy needs to get his career on, and with OTR trucking he'll be physically absent most of the time.

The hardest part is all those true milestones in the early years: smiling (my heart's breaking already), crawling, babbling, ... well, etcetera.

Make sure your cell phone has a good video system. Facebook or YouTube is the easiest to handle video. I think on FB you can set privacy so that it's only you two, or with family, etc.

The apps are out there: get one that does video both through WiFi and phone data ($$) so Daddy won't miss much. Live video for all three of you can be so much fun.

Record it all! Yes, show Daddy what he's missing when you change a diaper! A little bit of everything because it's all milestones!

I have a 3 yr old son and a 6 month old daughter and my father drove a truck my hole life so I have seen both sides of it it's hard and yes he will miss a lot but in the long run he is giving them a good living by being gone people always say family 1st job 2nd I put my job first with a job my family don't eat don't have a roof over there heads or the favorite toy that they have to have good luck and best to you and urs

I recognize this is a good opportunity for him since we can't afford to send him to a local program and he really needs a career focus.

Erin, you've gotten some great responses.

I've been hesitant to respond to this, because I think I see something between the lines here. I hope I'm wrong... but, your man cannot use honorable reasons for an excuse to not get focused on a job and a career to support his family. That is not only his duty as a husband and father, but the way he handles that responsibility defines his character as a man. We all have our own problems and reasons why life can be difficult for us, but each of us has to face up to our responsibilities each morning and get out there and do the best we can for our families. Some of us are limited by education, others by social skills, some of us are unfortunately living in depressed areas economically, and other of us have physical disabilities. We still have to do what we can to earn the most we can for our families. A man steps up and makes the sacrifices necessary, any thing less is an indication of a lack of character.

If he doesn't want to be an over the road trucker that's certainly fine, and any of us would understand that, we know the sacrifices involved in it. If he just doesn't seem to want to work, then you may have an issue on your hands that your are sidestepping.

Erin I understand were your husband is coming from. It's not easy being away from your wife and kids. He will miss things, that's part of this job sometimes. Just as mother sacrifice for her kids your husband needs to get over him self and make some sacrifice as well. He needs to understand you and baby, need him to provide for you, diapers are not cheep, formula, milk, clothes, and dr visits do not grow on trees. Yes he will miss out on things but so long as when he is home, you guys are his world the baby will understand. There is also the cool factor or having your dad show up in a big rig for show and tell.

I just want to change what stump said a little bit, by putting my job first I am putting my family first because with out my job we would be home less .

Why not stick out the company training for as long as he can, obtain his cdl , work for a year or two and then try and work locally? He doesn't have to be an Otr trucker his whole career. That's the beauty of having a cdl. Because like Old School is saying, you can't use honorable reasons to just bow out of this career at any time. Spend as much time with him as you can and tell him to get going. Support from afar.

Ronny said to stick it out, which is the right thing to do.

But FYI, it's not necessarily a one year sentence to OTR. I drive for Swift. After my upgrade, I was naturally OTR. But after 4 months I was switched to shuttle, which is a home-every-day job. Never hurts to ask!