It Keeps Changing

Topic 30611 | Page 2

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Mikey B.'s Comment
member avatar

Jesus I said dont bash me. No he doesnt read this he has no interest. No empathy and he says hes not a slave. He ABSOLUTELY believes that. Any way if my scenero wont work Ill have to leave him home. Im doing this no matter what. I know I can do this. He tells me every day ill hate it. I know the road I loved it. I always said i want to be a truck driver and this is my last chance. btw his friends tell him the same thing and he doesnt care he just says I love my life.so...

No, I said I mean no real disrespect and that I was not trying to anger you...that absolves me from anything I said that you take offense to or get mad about. I'd feel as sorry for you as I do for and about your son if you hadn't created the monster that consumes your thoughts, time and money because it truly is a pathetically sad situation. It's hard not to love your life when someone does everything for you, pays for everything you need or want even so much as encourages your carefree lifestyle and never have to even so much as feel bad about it or face yourself in the mirror with shame about what your looking at. Again, no disrespect intended and not trying to anger you, not your baby as he needs to get angry and deserves any and all disrespect since that is how he treats you. Best of luck in anything you try to do which doesn't include junior since he will probably sabotage you since after all, you ARE his golden goose.

OOS:

When a violation by either a driver or company is confirmed, an out-of-service order removes either the driver or the vehicle from the roadway until the violation is corrected.

Davy A.'s Comment
member avatar

Without going into a lecture on how dysfunctional both the parent and child are, pretty much no to everything.

Campgrounds are expensive, and you will want a dwelling to be in at the end of each 12 to 14 hour day of school. You will need everything to concentrate without being able to baby the adult your dragging around.

No, most companies will not let you have a rider until 3 to 6 months. He probably won't want to leave the comfort of the basement and playing Xbox and you wont want to be without him as it will bring you face to face with with your fear of being alone and the gravity of your codependency.

No, if he won't clean up a house, a campsite is even harder.

Another no, is that life in the truck is about good routines and habits that need to be established right from the start. Punctuality, accountability, cleaning, thinking ahead, planning,...all things that you will not be able to develop with baggage in tow.

I'd recommend you go to therapy before you start a career in trucking, at least Al-Anon and do some self discovery. Fix the underlying issues so that you and your son can lead healthy lives.... separate healthy lives. Then, once you have your base in order, go for a career change.

I just recently changed careers to trucking, it took a year of planning and getting ready, and that's without issues like you have.

Christopher L.'s Comment
member avatar

My mother babied and enabled my brother until the day she died, and he is now living off of the government, the ship to raise him to a man has sailed.

Tammy A.'s Comment
member avatar

I am trying to get my situation fixed so I can focus. I wont make a move till I know I can 100% commit. I cant throw him out he wont survive. My sister in law *****ed at me for years to throw him out and when she took her own advice with her son and he ended up in jail and then dead at 32. My girlfriend locked her door on her son and he got with the wrong people they beat him put him in a dog cage and dumped him in the river and almost 3 years latrer his body hasnt been found. Her regret and guilt has totally ruined her life. She told me dont throw him out. anyway. ill figure it out

I was home alone babysitting my younger siblings cooking and cleaning when I was 13. Your son and I are about the same age.

Training is hard. I trained locally and the last thing I wanted to do at the end of the day was come home to deal with home issues. I would come home, lock myself in the bathroom to update my diary on truckingtruth, take a shower and go to bed. It's mentally draining and frustrating.

You're son isn't a slave, you are. Because of that he loves his life.

I'll draw up a new plan for you. Go tell your son he has until xx/yy/zzzz to find a job and move out because you're going to start doing what you want and living your life. The key part here is following through.

You asked for advice about getting into, not a lecture, right?

Here's my advice based on over a year OTR. You need to commit to trucking such that it will be your primary focus for at least one year. So, you need to resolve whatever life situation that will prevent you from that one-year committment and focus. You had asked a previous question regarding a client that relied on you. You got the some advice then. You didn't really need to ask the question about your son. You already got the advice when you asked about your client.

OTR:

Over The Road

OTR driving normally means you'll be hauling freight to various customers throughout your company's hauling region. It often entails being gone from home for two to three weeks at a time.

OWI:

Operating While Intoxicated

Tammy A.'s Comment
member avatar

No he's not retarded. Sometimes I wish he was then there would be an excuse.

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Thats my point. Its not going to start now. I said im paying the piper. How the hell am i supposed to raise a boy to a man? I had to work for years 100 hours a week. My bad but it is what it is. btw no welfare EVER. Theres always a casuality and I AM DOING THIS just alot to figure out! I ALWAYS do what I want

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Another poster that shows why millennials can't do their own thing. The parents don't want to quit babying them and let go.

Without going too much into the parenting/enabling side that has been discussed for another member, Harvey, no this isn't feasible. If your kid can't handle basic responsibilities such as cleaning thats their issue. If its negatively impacting you or your property then maybe they should move out. You've spent your life raising a family now its time for you to do what YOU want.

Most companies will not allow a rider right away. They often require 3 to 6 months solo. Honestly, it comes across as you're trying to find excuses or reasons NOT to jump in. If he hasn't shown interest by age 33 to move out and find a job/career why would he start now?

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I hate to be the bearer of bad news but raising a boy to be a man? That ship sailed 20 years ago. And welfare, yes, your son is on welfare and you are his government. Is he retarded, developmentally challenged or what? I believe you are dead wrong when you say you always do what you want. You always do what your son wants. If, and that's a HUGE if you actually do jump in and get a cdl and a job you still won't be doing what you want. Yours is a sad case of enabling. You effectively have an 5 year old that has been alive for 33 years. It's a sad situation but you have nobody to blame but yourself. I fear the guilt you harbor for not being around as much as you feel you should have when he was aging (notice I didn't say growing up) due to having to work 100 hours a week has already ruined him and possibly you. Does he not feel any guilt at all and is he not embarrassed to still have mommy changing his diapers at 33? Does he read the comments on here? Perhaps he should. He would have to be embarrassed and might finally realize that you claim to want to separate. Its wayyyyy past time to cut the umbilical cord, your situation passed healthy relationship status decades ago. I guarantee you are doing him a disservice by enabling him to do...well...nothing for himself. I know nothing other than what you have posted on this site but that is enough to see what you either won't or just can't face. Grow a pair and cut the cord, at least then one of you two will have a pair. I mean no real disrespect and am not trying to anger you but dang Tammy, you act like you are still raising an infant that requires you to feed, clothe and change diapers for it. I guess as an actual man I just can't comprehend how your little boy can accept being an adult baby. Oh well, I'd say good luck with the trucking thing but we both know you'll have to drop out of school or training to run off and care for junior.

CDL:

Commercial Driver's License (CDL)

A CDL is required to drive any of the following vehicles:

  • Any combination of vehicles with a gross combined weight rating (GCWR) of 26,001 or more pounds, providing the gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) of the vehicle being towed is in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any single vehicle with a GVWR of 26,001 or more pounds, or any such vehicle towing another not in excess of 10,000 pounds.
  • Any vehicle, regardless of size, designed to transport 16 or more persons, including the driver.
  • Any vehicle required by federal regulations to be placarded while transporting hazardous materials.

OWI:

Operating While Intoxicated

Tammy A.'s Comment
member avatar

When I decide to make the jump my client is state and will always be taken care of. They will put him in a group home. It's alot different then your own kid. He loves to travel so I was hoping by maybe taking him with me he will have to snap out of his non existing life. I know I'm screwed with this kid but I'm doing this no matter what. I told him to figure it out. Decide what he wants to do cause I have a plan for the last part of my life and it ain't sitting around this house taking care of people.

You asked for advice about getting into, not a lecture, right?

Here's my advice based on over a year OTR. You need to commit to trucking such that it will be your primary focus for at least one year. So, you need to resolve whatever life situation that will prevent you from that one-year committment and focus. You had asked a previous question regarding a client that relied on you. You got the some advice then. You didn't really need to ask the question about your son. You already got the advice when you asked about your client.

OTR:

Over The Road

OTR driving normally means you'll be hauling freight to various customers throughout your company's hauling region. It often entails being gone from home for two to three weeks at a time.

Big Scott (CFI's biggest 's Comment
member avatar

I don't care how you raised your child.

CFI will let you get a rider pass as soon as you upgrade. That usually takes a couple of months from start to upgrade. CFI will put you in the LaQuinta, then you will stay either at Crowder College or a hotel outside of Springfield while your in school. You would have to pay for your son's room and food. I do not know of the nearest campground or RV park to Joplin.

Based on my knowledge of the industry, unlike most companies CFI will let you take him on the truck with you on day 1. They will require a passenger pass, which can be filed out while in Joplin. Our passenger passes are good for one year and then must be renewed.

I hope this works out for you.

While not always successful, I try not to judge people.

We are where we are in life because of the choices we made.

Good luck to you.

Tammy A.'s Comment
member avatar

Thank you! This is life changing and I need to make it work. whatever it takes

I don't care how you raised your child.

CFI will let you get a rider pass as soon as you upgrade. That usually takes a couple of months from start to upgrade. CFI will put you in the LaQuinta, then you will stay either at Crowder College or a hotel outside of Springfield while your in school. You would have to pay for your son's room and food. I do not know of the nearest campground or RV park to Joplin.

Based on my knowledge of the industry, unlike most companies CFI will let you take him on the truck with you on day 1. They will require a passenger pass, which can be filed out while in Joplin. Our passenger passes are good for one year and then must be renewed.

I hope this works out for you.

While not always successful, I try not to judge people.

We are where we are in life because of the choices we made.

Good luck to you.

Tammy A.'s Comment
member avatar

My worst nightmare

My mother babied and enabled my brother until the day she died, and he is now living off of the government, the ship to raise him to a man has sailed.

Tammy A.'s Comment
member avatar

Im afraid he will sabotage me too. Hes very selfish. If he does ill just leave and wont look back.

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Jesus I said dont bash me. No he doesnt read this he has no interest. No empathy and he says hes not a slave. He ABSOLUTELY believes that. Any way if my scenero wont work Ill have to leave him home. Im doing this no matter what. I know I can do this. He tells me every day ill hate it. I know the road I loved it. I always said i want to be a truck driver and this is my last chance. btw his friends tell him the same thing and he doesnt care he just says I love my life.so...

double-quotes-end.png

No, I said I mean no real disrespect and that I was not trying to anger you...that absolves me from anything I said that you take offense to or get mad about. I'd feel as sorry for you as I do for and about your son if you hadn't created the monster that consumes your thoughts, time and money because it truly is a pathetically sad situation. It's hard not to love your life when someone does everything for you, pays for everything you need or want even so much as encourages your carefree lifestyle and never have to even so much as feel bad about it or face yourself in the mirror with shame about what your looking at. Again, no disrespect intended and not trying to anger you, not your baby as he needs to get angry and deserves any and all disrespect since that is how he treats you. Best of luck in anything you try to do which doesn't include junior since he will probably sabotage you since after all, you ARE his golden goose.

OOS:

When a violation by either a driver or company is confirmed, an out-of-service order removes either the driver or the vehicle from the roadway until the violation is corrected.

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