PSA, DO NOT ASSUME THE FEMALE DRIVER NEEDS OR WANTS YOUR HELP

Why? What the heck is it about me, that makes way too many of the unkempt smelly drivers with stolen valor think I need or want their help?

Today, difficult dock, trucks moving around, dark, but NAILED IT, as usual. I'm filling out my form, with my window open, and a driver comes over (from our company) and asks me a question about our app. I explain what is likely causing his issue, and figure that's the end of it.

This MOTHER *BEEPING* JACKWAGGON starts cranking my landing gear. WTF? I ask him what he thinks he is doing, and he said:

I saw you in a red shirt when you picked up this load (two days ago in CA, creepy, but whatever) and figure since you just helped me, I'd help you.

Ok, whatever man. Get your hands off my d@mn truck before I remove them from it myself. Meanwhile, my dogs are at the window going insanely crazy, and my male looks like he wants a greasy snack.

Then he acted all upset that I wasn't falling all over myself to thank him and talk to him. No. Just no.

Keep your hands to yourself, and stay out of the way of me doing my job.

I've helped countless fellow drivers both male and female in a similar way when they've helped me.

Guess I'm trying to get them to fall for me. Since that was clearly his only motivation......

I agree. I do it all the time. I’ll approach a fellow driver in the yard to talk. While he’s disconnecting his air lines I’ll lower the landing gear he’ll pull the pin we’ll finish the conversation and that’s that.

I've helped countless fellow drivers both male and female in a similar way when they've helped me.

Guess I'm trying to get them to fall for me. Since that was clearly his only motivation......

I see where you're coming from but you may be making too much out of it.

Some men are raised to help women. It doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in you.

And the fact that you're both working for the same company means you have something in common. Kinda like you're his 'sister' in the industry.

I can see both sides of this. As someone who feels uncomfortable accepting help with something I'm capable of doing myself, I can see why NaeNae would be unhappy with the situation. Plus, a female driver might feel as though she's being patronized.

I can also understand why the guy wanted to help her since NaeNae helped him first. Whether or not he was being patronizing or had some ulterior motive for helping is not something I can answer unless I had been there to observe his demeanor.

Ok so I get where you guys are coming from but I also see NaeNae’s point. It’s probably hard for someone like Bobcat Bob to see the point because he is genuinely helpful and would simply want to be courteous in that situation. I used to think the same way until my gf started driving.

While there are plenty of guys and gals who are simply helpful human beings, there are plenty of guys who see a female driver and automatically assume she must need some sort of help or needs advice and so on. Don’t know if that was the case here but I don’t think it’s fair for us on here to assume the guy was just being helpful.

At the very least he should have asked if she wanted help with the landing gear. If she was just sitting in her truck he had no business touching her truck or trailer. If nothing else I hope people reading this at least gather that from this thread—don’t assume things and don’t touch another driver’s equipment without their express knowledge and/or consent. I’ve had people start messing with my trailer valves when I was still new at my current job while I was unloading and it’s absolutely unnerving.

Maybe the guy was just trying to help but I don’t see any reason he couldn’t ask her before touching her equipment

This. The fact that he RECOGNIZED ME from two states away, down to what shirt I was wearing, turns a situation from something that could have been friendly and a reciprocation of help, to something seriously uncomfortable.

The fact that BOTH my dogs were going crazy, also made the situation more than it needed to be. My male does not like any men. Fair. My female is chill, but reacts to people putting off "bad vibes." I refuse to ignore intuition and gut feelings, to not hurt someone else's fragile ego. The entire exchange would have been different, had he ASKED if I needed help, before ever moving towards my equipment, and if he hadn't been creepy mc creeperson about where he had seen me in a very non descript truck, right down to the clothes I was wearing.

Ok so I get where you guys are coming from but I also see NaeNae’s point. It’s probably hard for someone like Bobcat Bob to see the point because he is genuinely helpful and would simply want to be courteous in that situation. I used to think the same way until my gf started driving.

While there are plenty of guys and gals who are simply helpful human beings, there are plenty of guys who see a female driver and automatically assume she must need some sort of help or needs advice and so on. Don’t know if that was the case here but I don’t think it’s fair for us on here to assume the guy was just being helpful.

At the very least he should have asked if she wanted help with the landing gear. If she was just sitting in her truck he had no business touching her truck or trailer. If nothing else I hope people reading this at least gather that from this thread—don’t assume things and don’t touch another driver’s equipment without their express knowledge and/or consent. I’ve had people start messing with my trailer valves when I was still new at my current job while I was unloading and it’s absolutely unnerving.

Maybe the guy was just trying to help but I don’t see any reason he couldn’t ask her before touching her equipment

Do you also comment on a male drivers clothing articles that you saw them wearing three states away?

I've helped countless fellow drivers both male and female in a similar way when they've helped me.

Guess I'm trying to get them to fall for me. Since that was clearly his only motivation......

Do you make it a habit to comment on the clothing a male driver was wearing, when you spotted him three states ago, in a very non descript truck? Yeah, didn't think so.

I see where you're coming from but you may be making too much out of it.

Some men are raised to help women. It doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in you.

And the fact that you're both working for the same company means you have something in common. Kinda like you're his 'sister' in the industry.