Need Help With Issue

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Craig G.'s Comment
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Hey guys, I’m going to ask for advice and be as respectful as I can. I’ve been a long time lurker and really enjoy this site and the advice you all give. I’m working for a major carrier (would prefer not to say who) and on my trainers truck. My trainer is 34 and has been driving for 5 years. The issue I’m having is he is gay, very flamboyant, and very emotional. He wears makeup, wears very short shorts on the truck, sometimes wears halter tops, etc. Several times he has flirted with truckers over the CB calling them honey, baby, cutie, etc. Its driving me absolutely crazy! I’m just very uncomfortable with this situation. He’s been a pretty good trainer but I don’t want to be around this for 30-45 days. I was raised with values that don’t support/agree with his lifestyle and I don’t want to be living with him in a box for this long. I understand I will have to deal with people I don’t agree with in this industry and that is just fine, but there’s a difference between dealing with people and temporarily living with them. Instead of being PC, please think about what you would do if you were in this situation and let me know. Thanks

Banks's Comment
member avatar

In hindsight, 4-6 weeks isn't that long. You can request a new trainer if you want, but be forewarned, there is no perfect trainer.

What if you get a new trainer and the guy is a pig? What if he has anger problems and yells at you and cusses non-stop?

If the guy is teaching you what you need to learn, just roll with it. The grass isn't always greener.

Andrey's Comment
member avatar

You can call your training manager and ask for another trainer. Being uncomfortable while locked in a cab with a gay person seems to be a solid reason for such a request.

Errol V.'s Comment
member avatar

Most of the time you can request a trainer change one time "just because". As for discussing your move with your current trainer, simply be honest and respectful yourself.

I'll bet your gay trainer has to put up with much worse reactions. Just be up front.

Auggie69's Comment
member avatar

Hey guys, I’m going to ask for advice and be as respectful as I can. I’ve been a long time lurker and really enjoy this site and the advice you all give. I’m working for a major carrier (would prefer not to say who) and on my trainers truck. My trainer is 34 and has been driving for 5 years. The issue I’m having is he is gay, very flamboyant, and very emotional. He wears makeup, wears very short shorts on the truck, sometimes wears halter tops, etc. Several times he has flirted with truckers over the CB calling them honey, baby, cutie, etc. Its driving me absolutely crazy! I’m just very uncomfortable with this situation. He’s been a pretty good trainer but I don’t want to be around this for 30-45 days. I was raised with values that don’t support/agree with his lifestyle and I don’t want to be living with him in a box for this long. I understand I will have to deal with people I don’t agree with in this industry and that is just fine, but there’s a difference between dealing with people and temporarily living with them. Instead of being PC, please think about what you would do if you were in this situation and let me know. Thanks

If the company had asked if you would you be comfortable living with a female trainer what would you have said?

I see no difference.

John H.'s Comment
member avatar

Full disclosure - I am new here, haven't even gotten my permit yet, or even talked to any companies. I will in the near future.

I thought about this for about an hour, thinking about how I would feel if when I go out with my trainer, if I ended up in your position. I, like you, don't agree with the lifestyle. But, I also feel, that it really does not matter if I agree with the lifestyle, it is his lifestyle, not mine.

I would look at this and ask myself a question...forget his lifestyle for a moment. Do you feel he is giving you the training you need? Are you learning from him? Is he helping you? If you feel he is doing a good job training, then personally I would stick with him. Changing may give you a better trainer, but may also give you worse. It is rolling the dice.

If he is pushing his lifestyle on you, or making advances, that is an entirely different issue...but assuming he isn't, I would deal with it. You are with him for training, and if he is training you well, then I would deal with it. I may be uncomfortable from time to time, but I see that as more my issue, than his.

Errol V.'s Comment
member avatar

I'm going to agree with John. My first answer above is a simple mechanical "how do I do this?" answer. Sexual orientation is one of those "None of you're business" topics like the old standbys religion and politics.

True, if you're getting the training you are expecting, then put up with it for the next few weeks. In another job I was put together with a practicing Muslim for a few weeks. I'm a practicing Christian. Rather than argue as true infidels would do, we shared our religious viewpoints. I believe we both came out with better understanding from the experience. (No conversions were made.)

HOS:

Hours Of Service

HOS refers to the logbook hours of service regulations.
Xnihilo's Comment
member avatar

double-quotes-start.png

Hey guys, I’m going to ask for advice and be as respectful as I can. I’ve been a long time lurker and really enjoy this site and the advice you all give. I’m working for a major carrier (would prefer not to say who) and on my trainers truck. My trainer is 34 and has been driving for 5 years. The issue I’m having is he is gay, very flamboyant, and very emotional. He wears makeup, wears very short shorts on the truck, sometimes wears halter tops, etc. Several times he has flirted with truckers over the CB calling them honey, baby, cutie, etc. Its driving me absolutely crazy! I’m just very uncomfortable with this situation. He’s been a pretty good trainer but I don’t want to be around this for 30-45 days. I was raised with values that don’t support/agree with his lifestyle and I don’t want to be living with him in a box for this long. I understand I will have to deal with people I don’t agree with in this industry and that is just fine, but there’s a difference between dealing with people and temporarily living with them. Instead of being PC, please think about what you would do if you were in this situation and let me know. Thanks

double-quotes-end.png

If the company had asked if you would you be comfortable living with a female trainer what would you have said?

I see no difference.

But he does.

The point is that he is uncomfortable and it hinders is focus, hence this thread. Is it okay for a woman to request another woman as a trainer because she would be uncomfortable "living" with a man in a box for weeks? Of course it is! This should be no different. However, his company should have informed him about this beforehand to avoid any issues. Then again with all the PC crap going on, maybe they aren't allowed to for fear of being labeled a homophobe.

Craig G.'s Comment
member avatar

Thanks for the replies. I don’t think good training for 30-45 days is worth me being this uncomfortable when I could get good training and be comfortable. I would be more comfortable with a trainer that has a bad temper than be in this situation. Also, a woman trainer would be just fine, I don’t care. I don’t agree that this is the same as politics and religion because your normal can’t see somebody’s politics or religion. You can definitely see this as it’s being flaunted in my face daily. In today’s culture with the SJW and the “if you don’t agree with me then you’re wrong” crowd I’m a little hesitant to ask for a new trainer when the reason is obvious. The problem is the over the top flamboyance, daisy dukes, flirting, and just the in general man trying to be a woman. It’s absolutely disgusting. If I say one wrong word to him or to my driver manager I could be seen as being homophobic. This ultra sensitive world we now live in makes things more tricky. I just can’t call my driver manager and honestly tell him how I feel. I have to carefully craft my sentences which is ridiculous.

Driver Manager:

Dispatcher, Fleet Manager, Driver Manager

The primary person a driver communicates with at his/her company. A dispatcher can play many roles, depending on the company's structure. Dispatchers may assign freight, file requests for home time, relay messages between the driver and management, inform customer service of any delays, change appointment times, and report information to the load planners.
Turtle's Comment
member avatar
The problem is the over the top flamboyance, daisy dukes, flirting, and just the in general man trying to be a woman. It’s absolutely disgusting. If I say one wrong word to him or to my driver manager I could be seen as being homophobic.

Well you are, so...

Driver Manager:

Dispatcher, Fleet Manager, Driver Manager

The primary person a driver communicates with at his/her company. A dispatcher can play many roles, depending on the company's structure. Dispatchers may assign freight, file requests for home time, relay messages between the driver and management, inform customer service of any delays, change appointment times, and report information to the load planners.
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