Newbie Trucker Dad Giving Advice - And Stories

FWIW, guys & gals......

I'm one of the 5 that speak to Mr. Harvey C., outside the forum.

He is quite an astute business man, and he DOES realize that his son, at 23, still needs/wants parenting. Adulting doesn't come w/ a manual.

When did that become a BAD thing?!?!?

My 17 y/o son has been home schooled (and then some, college credits pending) by choice. Covid was a contributing factor.

For the love of Pete (and his brother, RePeat...) cut the guy some slack; he's just trying to share how his son made a bad decision joining CRE first, on the Dollar account(s.) Moved on to Marten, and rocking it.

23 years old does NOT a man, make... imho. Daughters????? Perahps. . . just ask Old School, haha!!

Davy; my 17 y/o son with a near genius IQ, chooses not to partake in social media, either. No SnapChat .. no TikTok . . barely attended Facebook page, et al.

Will he live at home at 23? Who knows. He's an IT kinda guy... idk. He knows 2 languages (almost 3) and probably nearing 20, in Code. And yes, he can drive his dad's truck.. (well, the old Pete, in my photo gallery.) He also has a local job.

Either way, I love him, just the same.

^^^ This is our daughter's graduation. She was 'off & running' before she even turned 18! She did ROTC, and almost joined the Air Force (still may) but is doing CNC machining... at an amazing company, PR Machining in Mansfield. Her life, her choice, her road. I miss her dearly. I wish she WAS the 23 y/o that WANTED to be home, TBH! (The fat guy on the right is Tom...the other ole' guy is the brother.)

Okay, y'all. I'm sorry, I'm just me.

Peace, & carry on!!

~ Anne ~

Congrats?

I don't know why I even bother posting on here most days.

It's just a little weird is all. At 18, I had 2 choices. College or figure it out on my own. I tried college it wasn't for me so off I went. My parents were there for me, but anything short of a crisis, they weren't helping.

At 23, they had no idea how much money I was making or what I was doing with that money. It was up to me figure out.

Today, my son is 14. He has to make decisions for himself. He does work around the house and he gets paid to do it and he also pays rent because that's how the real world works. Better to learn budgeting now than when you're up the creek without a paddle in sight. The rent he pays gets invested in various ETFs and it'll be there for him when he's ready for it. He's also encouraged to save money. Everything that's left over at the end of the month, I contribute 10%. It makes him think about his purchases instead of just buying stuff based on random urges.

Any issues he has, he has to figure out on his own and if he wants my advice, I'm there and he knows it.

Lessons my parents never taught me that I had to learn on my own in the real world with no support system.

God forbid, but if something were to happen to Harvey and his wife tomorrow, would Michael easily survive in the real world or would he be lost out there with nobody to help him.

Banks, I once got paid a nickel for helping with some garden chores, weeding all day. I never got paid for doing chores, that was part of the responsibility of being part of the family. My first job was maybe in sixth grade, not sure really why, but probably because I saw an opportunity to make some money and I worked in the cafeteria. Although I missed some class, I still always got very good grades. I always did that, while in high school and a little in college. Michael had some summer jobs before quitting college and starting in trucking, that's about it, but he has helped me with farm projects numerous times and I sometimes wish I had paid him but I hate more payroll work.

Math is not a good skill of Michael's. Taking care of his records is probably not necessary but both my wife and I have been meticulous about doing this and we just do it for him. With the trusts I administer and our business, that is very necessary but for him he wouldn't suffer if his checkbook wasn't balanced and he would get by okay. I know many people who never balance their checkbook much less save money for retirement. Unfortunately, in today's world, very few people do budgeting. Michael doesn't spend much money and I don't really see that changing. He is making good financial progress. My biggest concern for him money-wise is administration of our trust when we pass on.

You and others seem to think we are doing much more for him than we are and I just don't understand why or where some of you come up with that. Yes, I helped him find a different trucking company which he loves and he thanked me for that a few times. We take care of financial records. About once a month he will ask me to help him figure out scheduling, he can't do math in his head like me and while driving he will have some doubts about being able to make a delivery. I do share what he struggled with early on that he shared with us. He lets us know about what day he will get back home for a couple of days. That is pretty typical family communication. We did help out yesterday. He has a dog on his truck and has had an ear infection and our local vet is closed on weekends and booked all of next week so we drove to Reno and had dinner and then met him after a delivery and brought the dog home and took her to an animal hospital. I don't know how else he could have taken care of that. It was something that the dog had to be sedated for today and she should return to the road next week.

Now, as far as the way things work in the real word, I think I have enough experience with that. I'm 64 and up until about five years ago my dad still gave me advice and at age 87 he drove tractor for me one day. I didn't ask for his help but he saw I had my hands full. When he was actively farming, I helped him also. When he got started in farming, his father helped him and he helped his dad. That's how families should work together, in my opinion, and I think it's a sign of a terrible breakdown in family units that most people don't experience this. This sort of family helping was common for many centuries. My grandfather was a successful immigrant, my father was successful, my wife and I are successful, and we expect our son will do fine. We will give him help when he needs it. We also helped form his Catholic faith and is well respected by local friends and family for the good young man he has become.

Do you pay income taxes on the rent you charge your son? I don't want more income. As long as our son is saving his money instead of blowing it, I'm not about to have him start paying me rent.

That's enough, I think. I just wanted to share an update after one year, that's all. He had some bumps but is doing well now.

You and others seem to think we are doing much more for him than we are and I just don't understand why or where some of you come up with that. 

We only have the information you've given us. Maybe we see something you don't.

Now, as far as the way things work in the real word, I think I have enough experience with that. 

I'm sure you do. That was never a question. In my opinion, based on what I've read, you're denying your son the opportunity to experience the real world.

That's how families should work together, in my opinion, and I think it's a sign of a terrible breakdown in family units that most people don't experience this.

The breakdown of family units is inevitable and happening. I get puzzled looks because I'm in my 30s and I only have 1 child with the woman I married 15 years ago. It's just how things are today. Adapt and move forward, like balancing a checkbook. I've never done it because there's no need to do it. I don't even have a checkbook, honestly. I pay all my bills online and I can always check my balances in a few seconds.

Do you pay income taxes on the rent you charge your son? I don't want more income. As long as our son is saving his money instead of blowing it, I'm not about to have him start paying me rent

I guess I do since it comes from my income and I pay income tax. I don't make my son pay me rent to take money from him. I do it so that he has a solid understanding of what to expect when he's on his own. I want him to be independent and productive. I don't want him to have to rely on other people or find himself in a position he can't handle.

I'm not telling you to charge you son rent, I'm telling you that I don't agree with how hands on you are. That's just my opinion, I don't expect you to do anything differently based on it.

Maybe it's a possibility that your son can't do math in his head because you were always there to do it for him.

Perhaps its just too foreign of a concept for me to grasp. I started my first business when I was 15 and moved out of the house when I was 17. My dad was a business owner most of his life, systems analyst and consultant. If we wanted something, we went out and worked for it. Years later, I asked my dad why he never gave us kids (six of us) anything like other kids got, first car, etc. He replied that in addition to raising six kids, working and getting a double masters from Stanford while doing it left us pretty economically challenged, the main reason was that it toughened us up.

I worked in the construction industry for 30 years. Its a hard way of life, much harder if you are soft and have been coddled. It breaks people like that. Perhaps Im just cold and hardened by it, but the world I grew up in was much different than the world kids grow up in today and I dont think its in a good way.

Congrats?

I don't know why I even bother posting on here most days.

Yup, I know why I don't...

Congrats?

I don't know why I even bother posting on here most days.

Yup, I know why I don't...

I'm not sure why, but I find the comments from PackRat and Turtle extremely amusing. You guys are moderators and I read all of your comments. I've learned a lot from you guys. Please don't go away.