Mixed Feelings On Helping

I had an experience similar to Old School's yesterday.

I had a meet at the Flying J in Hubbard, OH. I drop my set and hook up to the new one. While doing my pretrip, another driver from Western Express calls me over.

He tells me that he needs to get into an app to use his fuel card , but he doesn't know how to download apps. He shows me his phone and I show him how to find apps and explain that I don't know anything about Western Express fuel cards or how they work. I direct him to 2 Western Express drivers that were currently at the pump so they can help him.

I finish my pretrip and go inside to get a coffee for the road. I do a quick walk around inspection because tampering and I see this guy is frustrated. I ask if he's good and he says his card was suspended and goes on a whole tirade of how much he hates Western Express, threatening to just leave the truck there and go home. I told him not to because that's abandonment and it'll be difficult to come back from that. If he's going to quit, return their equipment to them and walk away. This guy kept me there for 10 minutes complaining about Western Express and I don't care. I just want to leave and it got to a point where I regretted stopping to help him.

Walking back to my truck, another driver from a company I've never heard of asks me for help because his fifth wheel is stuck. Idk what that means because he spoke broken English. I can tell Spanish was his native language, so I spoke to him in Spanish and told him to pull out the trailer supply valve and push back to alleviate the pressure on the fifth wheel. He had no idea what I was talking about and asked me to do it. I told him I wasn't going to touch someone else's equipment and this guy looked at me with total disgust.

It makes you not want to help anyone at these places. I want to be helpful, but I don't want to deal with the extra baggage that can come with it like complaining and entitlement.

All you can do is try, but not everyone can be "saved". I've helped some drivers backing, advice, mechanical suggestions, locked out of their truck, tarping, adjusting the tandems , tire chains.....You get the idea. Lots of stuff.

Some "get it" and are willing to learn or take suggestions, while others are a waste of time. You never know how it will go with these relatively brief interactions.

Good on you for helping.

I like to help also and often do help newer drivers that ask me for help in person or call me with questions. BUT if you ask me for help and then want to argue for 30 minutes or don’t want to take my advice and put in the work you can go **** yourself.

This here…

…happened to me when I saw a driver on the scale in a tiny TS in DE running a 53’ dry van with the tandems set all the way to rear. He was headed south… this setting is not legal on the East Coast.

His total gross weight? 45,000lbs. He’d “scale” legal no matter where his tandems were set. He picked up the trailer from a shipper and didn’t want or know how to move his tandems. I tried to explain the ramifications if he hit an open scale running like this… didn’t register to him. Said he wasn’t in Cali (no sh__) Offered to help him move the tandems… not interested.

I walked away, waved and wished him luck. Whatever.

Good on you for helping.

I like to help also and often do help newer drivers that ask me for help in person or call me with questions. BUT if you ask me for help and then want to argue for 30 minutes or don’t want to take my advice and put in the work you can go **** yourself.

It’s always a mixed bag of nuts, but you don’t know till you open it…. If asked I will try….I get asked alot, maybe because drivers look at my truck and assume I know something, not sure. If they show to be stupid, I just tell them good luck and roll on….I really feel sorry for some folks, but you can’t fix outright stupid..

1 time with Legends, I stop to fuel, my driver windows down a bit not much. Well duhhhh me, somehow I hit lock button rolling window up. Foud I was locked out once done fueling. Borrowed a guys key to his FL, no good. So screw it, I got inside and buy their $34 lock out kit (I have plenty slim jims,etc at home) So trying to get lock open these 2 guys from India, tell me look under the hood for spare from dealer? nope none. Anyway 1 guys up on the step giving it a go, the other guy takes over, and BAMM unlocked! I thank em profusely, even offered em a 20 spot. No thanks they say, again I thank em, and go on with the day....

I think, it was 2 days later, I pull into a rest area for my 30 DOT break. A guy comes across to me asking if I could help him unlock HIS truck, I laugh, "sure buddy I got the kit let me get it for ya" I gave him the long stiffer rod they used to help me. So he goes to his truck, I'm digging out the slim jims, when he returns in minutes, he got his door open. So now HE is thanking me, and offers me money ! So I told him no thanks bro, I just went thru this crap the other day, is why I now have this lock out kit. Told him just pay it forward, it's good Karma lol

When I got home, I dug out my master lock pick set I bought it off the Snap-On truck, years ago. Put it in my truck "just in case" needed it down the road my last 2 months driving..... You had to be a mechanic to even buy it.....Used it couple times on cars. key cuts for bout every make and model you can think of, and imports.

Locking myself out is a real fear I have. It's why I carry a spare key on me at all times. I also put my car key in my bag because I'm afraid of dropping it and not realizing.

I locked myself out of a truck once. I stopped in Dunkin and left it running and locked the doors without realizing that I left the other key in the truck. I went into AutoZone to ask if they had something to help me out and they said no. One of the unofficial AutoZone mechanics offered to help me out and got it open using door stops and a stick. He gladly took my 20 and I gladly gave it to him.

I love to help people, but not everyone wants the help they need. Some people only want their thoughts and feelings validated because it makes them feel better. Others will only do what's easy, not what's needed.

My approach is simple: I'll tell you what I know, and you do with it what you like. That allows me to live up to my standards for helping people without losing my sanity if they won't listen.

If someone resists your ideas, ask questions instead. Make them explain their logic. Lead them down a path of discovery. You'll find that most people haven't thought through their position very well and they'll realize that during your line of questioning. When they cannot back their ideas with logic or facts, they'll know it's time to go back to the drawing board without taking offense to you rejecting their ideas.

Banks, I locked myself out of my truck once. It cost me a lot of time and $50. Now I keep a spare key in my wallet, several hide out keys on the tractor and one on the trailer

Okay I was just kidding about the trailer hide out key.

Make them explain their logic. Lead them down a path of discovery. You'll find that most people haven't thought through their position very well and they'll realize that during your line of questioning

That's why I take a step back when I feel frustrated. Frustration leads to stupid mistakes. I find myself getting frustrated in situations like this because these aren't end of the world problems, yet people are willing to throw away careers over them. I've gotten better at controlling my frustration, but stupidity bothers me.

Now I keep a spare key in my wallet, several hide out keys on the tractor and one on the trailer

I don't carry a wallet. They're uncomfortable and it's another thing to carry. My phone case holds cards and I keep 2 credit cards and my license in it. I keep my medical card and some cash in my bag.