I May Have To Make A Choice.....

My mom had a massive stroke in January. The reality is now that she is dying, albeit in very slow motion. I have been contemplating turning in my truck to go home, and be there for her and my dad. I have a temporary job offer (6 months) through one of my previous employers, which would keep me afloat but not moving forward towards my goals at the rate I am now.

This is a tough one. On the one hand, she has no recollection of who I am. On the other, would I carry the guilt forever of not going home? They have pallative care nursing, and CNA care in home as of right now, so it's not a matter of burn out for my dad.

This is a tough one, that I knew would eventually come, but I'm not sure I was ready for it.

You can always return to driving.

My mom passed two days after Kearsey's, and not a day passes that I wish I had ctalkef with her more; visited her more when I had time off, or could call her on the phone now for any reason, important or trivial. Your mom may not remember but you will, so I would suggest spending time with her while it's still available.

Lost my Mom 1 year ago…she was 94. Can totally empathize with this situation. Follow your heart.

Perhaps your greatest value would be to support your dad, even though he has the caregiver situation covered. Just a thought.

These points in our lives are so difficult even though we know they will eventually happen. Best wishes to you and your dad no matter what you decide.

My heart goes out to you. Is it perhaps possible to do local or do 1 week on one off or a similar situation with your present company?

Reefer with Prime, and Montana is incompatible. I had to move my legal address from MT to NC (easiest and safest option, using my friends couch.) So running local for Prime isn't an option.

My Dad and I don't really get along, and he has serious boundary issues, which complicate the whole scenario. I wish it was an easy answer.

On the bright side, one of my friends runs heavy haul tow recovery, so I can always ride along and learn some stuff.

My heart goes out to you. Is it perhaps possible to do local or do 1 week on one off or a similar situation with your present company?

Nae Nae, you have my prayers and will be in my thoughts! As others have alluded "You can always get another job, you can't get back time with your parents though". There is a modern adage "Nobody's epitaph ever said he/she wished they could have worked just one more day."

Lost my Mom 13 years ago, and valued every second I had with her in the last chapter of her life. I guarantee you that whatever financial/employment hurdles or hoops you need to jump over or through will be worth it in the long run to be with her.

Take it one day at a time. Lifting your family up in prayer.

Gotta be with family. Money is needed to support yourself, but there are ways to figure out the finances from missed income. Don't let yourself live with the "What if I had..." It's not something that you can get back. Work will always be there, but our relationships won't because people don't last forever.

Gotta be with family. Money is needed to support yourself, but there are ways to figure out the finances from missed income. Don't let yourself live with the "What if I had..." It's not something that you can get back. Work will always be there, but our relationships won't because people don't last forever.

I have a different take on the “family is everything” philosophy. Family is not always everything or all important. And if Naenae decides to keep driving instead of going home, she should not have a guilt trip. It seems to me that the thrust of this conversation is that she should do the “family loyalty” thing. But she has made it clear that she has a prickly relationship with her family, on this thread and previous threads. It’s obvious that she is struggling with what to do. If she chooses to just continue with her status quo, that would not be a bad decision. It’s her choice and decision to make and whatever decision she makes will probably prove to be right for her.

I say all this because I have come to realize, after years of family turmoil, that none of us pick out family members. They are picked by factors over which we have no control. I have two sisters who are selfish, self centered people with no empathy for less fortunate people. I have no desire to ever see them again and I feel no guilt because of my thinking on this subject.

You can’t pick your family. You can pick your friends. My trucking community means more to me than my family ever has or ever will.

BK, many people would consider that a controversial statement, but I will back you up on that one. Although loyalty is critical amongst people who truly have each other's best interests at heart, being loyal to someone who isn't equally loyal to you is a recipe for trouble.

I won't disagree with the others who say always put family first, because that may be what's best for them. I personally don't think that applies to all families, though.

As always, with cases of life-or-death, this decision is intensely personal and I'm sorry this is happening, NaeNaeInNC. Do what's best for you. There are no easy answers for this.