Relationship

I got a problem.. I just started driving school n now I'm on my tnt phase.also I got a gf she was ok with it in the beginning n now she starting to pressure me bc I hardly have home time.mind u that I going merry this woman. But lately she been trying to tell me that I should find a job closer to home but I can't break my contract.. she has past trauma with her last relationship with bf being away for so long.. I don't know what to do n I trying to figure a way that it manageable.. can anyone help me?

Blair J,

You have a hard choice to make. Either you enter the trucking industry with a clear mind so you can concentrate on being a safe and productive driver and risk losing your girlfriend that you intend on marrying or you can say goodbye to her now and become a driver which seems to be your ambition. Either way you do not have her blessing when it comes to your choice of driving a truck.

Either way if she isn't onboard your relationship is doomed to fail and it will affect your ability to perform your job well and safely. Good luck.

Do you have any children together? Does she have a job?

I was in a similar situation when I started. Difference being I was already married and I never got started. Fortunately, I got started with at home every day position. Unfortunately, those are harder and harder to come by, these days.

What your girlfriend is doing is a sure way to create resentment if you land at a job you hate to appease her.

Advise her to get therapy to work through her past trauma. That's not your fault and you can't marry someone that's going to use trauma you didn't inflict to guilt you into their will. It leads to a miserable life.

Do what you feel is best for you. You're not married and I'm assuming there are no kids involved. Now is the time to do what you want to do and start building your life.

Good luck to you.

Unfortunately, your current situation is all too common. TNT stressed my engagement. Once I was in my own truck, he decided he couldn't handle being with a driver.

Navypoppop is correct. You do not have her blessing and support in this, especially in a very critical time in your driving career. Learning how to do your job safely.

A little friendly advice from someone who has had "relationship trauma," she needs therapy, for herself and if you have any hope for a successful and stable future. Either she trusts you, and is a fully functioning adult that can be okay by themselves for large chunks of time, or she isn't. This has nothing to do with you driving, as she shows insecurity signs. She could be the right person, but wrong circumstances, wrong time in your life, and wrong ideals of what you want in a relationship. This is why you have to choose what is right for YOU. None of us, nor her, can answer that.

Good luck to you.

OTR Relationships?

I wrote the above article years ago and it still holds true. I suggest you both read it, as it may shed some light.

As for her "trauma"... im sick to death of all the trauma excuses people use today. We all have had trauma. Deal with it and move on or be a dysfunctional mess that will burden all around you. You used TNT meaning Prime. She can come on the truck with you once you upgrade. Explain thay to her. I hear you being very concerned for her, but she doesnt seem concerned about your stress. Is that fair?

As usual, Kearsey nails it. TNT and any training for that matter, is mentally taxing. It throws new stuff at you every day, and your body is learning how to handle those "use every minute of the clock" days. You aren't even getting fantastic sleep, as trying to sleep in a moving truck doesn't get you the quality of sleep you are used to at home. This is not without danger.

Having her at home, harping about you not being at home enough, takes your head out of the game. When your head isn't in it, mistakes are made, and lives are destroyed.

Some of us NEVER WENT HOME during TNT, because we wanted to just hammer out our miles. I was in hotels nearby when my trainer took hometime, because he lived in MI and I was in NC. I left April 18th, for PSD. I was home for three days to get my CDL upgraded. I left on my trainers truck May 11th. I did not SEE my "home" in NC until I was routed home with my own truck in August.

I hear you being very concerned for her, but she doesnt seem concerned about your stress. Is that fair?

Dude, like the saying goes, "Women, are like buses, another 1 will be along in 15 minutes"

I had kind of the same thing, when I got out with my trainer, it was my best buddy of 55 years, givin me grief over some old BS, that didn't matter. I told him "Bro, I am out here trying to learn this craft, and DON'T need the stress you're bringing, so STFU !!.....I blocked him for awhile......Problem solved!

I had a girlfriend 1 time, she'd actually got me an interview( I didn't want) at a Ford dealer for a heavy line tech spot. She wanted me home more. I got the job, that day.... Then later on, she says, "maybe you need a new job" So I told her ok, the YOU find me 1 hahaha......I got to making great money at Ford, and eventually sent her packing !!

Anyone contemplating marriage should keep in mind the three rings of marriage ahead of time.

As was said, therapy, see if you can work out her being on the truck later, after training. My ex wife didn't want me to get into trucking, I didn't it regretted it for 20 years.

Also, check your self esteem, maybe chat with a therapist as well. As a partner, are you walking your path, doing your best to create your life so that you have something to offer a partner? Do you value yourself and are you self aware?