This May Be It For Me

Thanks for the support guys. I have a 30min session on Friday virtual then on Tuesday a 1HR in person session. Couldn't sleep all night and have been having a hard time but some time today I am going to be hitting the road heading home and just it's going to be hard I don't know if I am ready to be in my truck again. Going to bobtail back and have already redeemed 2wk PTO. UPS said I can ether take my truck home or to a close terminal but I think I am going to just take it home.

I'm so incredibly sorry Chris!

Hang in there brother. The way you're feeling is a strong testament to your character. Accidents are just that. Don't let the "what ifs" push you around in your emotions. I know that's easier said than done, but it's an important thing to protect yourself.

You did nothing wrong. Perhaps you misjudged the speed of the oncoming car, but if there's any fault it lies in the excessive speed they were traveling at. There's no excuse for that kind of speed in those conditions.

Take as much time off as you need. Continue talking to others. Don't clam up and keep your feelings to yourself.

We all wish you the best. You are our friend. You are in our prayers. You have our highest respect.

I saw this post when you made it Chris but I have not been sure how to respond, everyone has been giving you good advice so there isn't much for me to add.

OD has a number for drivers to call if they are involved in a fatal accident so they can talk to someone does UPS have something similar??

On a side note I am kind of surprised they let you keep driving, most people would be in a compromised state of mind. OD has some process I've heard before they will let you drive again.

They did give me a number and they actually helped set me up with a therapist close to my house and approve me for a week of PTO and a week of rest period also payed. UPS did fortunately treat me like a human and understood that I wasn't taking this well and gave me more help. I still don't know if I am going to be able to sleep tonight but I will try.

I saw this post when you made it Chris but I have not been sure how to respond, everyone has been giving you good advice so there isn't much for me to add.

OD has a number for drivers to call if they are involved in a fatal accident so they can talk to someone does UPS have something similar??

On a side note I am kind of surprised they let you keep driving, most people would be in a compromised state of mind. OD has some process I've heard before they will let you drive again.

My thoughts are with you Chris. Please continue to work through this in any way you can.

Chris, you are in our family prayers daily, morning and night. You're in good company here. Keep at it step by step, day by day.

You have mentioned several times that your sleep is affected by what happened. In extreme stress situations sleep is super important for the brain to recover equilibrium. So you may need to talk to your doctor about getting you a temporary sleep aid. Just make sure it is a medicine that is acceptable to your company. Get some sleep, man. Sleep is your friend right now.

Chris so sorry you experienced this tragedy. Our prayers are with you as well as the family that passed.

As already said this is not your fault and you cannot save people from themselves. As a 30 yr first responder, I can tell you that sometimes we experience things that make no sense, but as human beings we try to make sense of everything.

At this point you have to get through it and move forward, however you decide is the best course of action for you.

I have experienced things in my life that sometimes come back to me when I least expect it. Something is the trigger for the memory. You need to take care of this stage of the healing process first, but also followup for the later stages as well.

We’re all here for you to offer our support. Buckle up it’s a bumpy ride but you will get through it.

Chris, I can't even imagine what you're going through. I just happened to watch this video the other day. It may be helpful to you. Whatever, you do, you have my best wishes. Video of a trucker's accident story.

Chris W- The video is very good. He brings up the question- “What could I have done?” A friend told me, about my son’s death- Don’t beat yourself up. As I continued talking, she said- See you just did it again; and Do NOT beat yourself up….. Scott/Cfi- good job.

Chris, I can't even imagine what you're going through. I just happened to watch this video the other day. It may be helpful to you. Whatever, you do, you have my best wishes. Video of a trucker's accident story.