This May Be It For Me

Topic 32748 | Page 2

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George B.'s Comment
member avatar

Hang in there, man! Talk to a therapist, Pastor, other drivers. I can't think of the right words to say. I saw a brutal accident back in 2005, well the aftermath. Everytime I see a Dodge Minivan late 90's model, I think of the wreckage. May the good Lord keep you strong.!

Davy A.'s Comment
member avatar

I'm very sorry to hear. Encouraging to hear thst you are seeing a therapist. My heart goes out to you. Please hang in there and perhaps see if there are others that have experienced similar here.

RealDiehl's Comment
member avatar

That is tragic. And it is a shame that there were fatalities. The fact that it upsets you so much is not surprising. Who wouldn't be upset over something like this? This is not something you could have foreseen. And you did nothing wrong. I hope you are able to find peace with yourself eventually. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. If you replace your truck with any other vehicle making the same choice to switch lanes at that time, the outcome would be the same. I hope you are able to speak with a professional who can make you see this. No one should have to live with that kind of guilt.

PackRat's Comment
member avatar

Sorry that this happened to you but it was not your fault the other vehicle chose to drive drive too fast. Talk with anyone possible, as often as necessary, as long as it takes. Call me any time you feel you need (contact on my bio).

HOS:

Hours Of Service

HOS refers to the logbook hours of service regulations.
Brett Aquila's Comment
member avatar
do you have any advice to make the overwhelming pain with every breath go away?

I'm incredibly sorry this happened, Chris. Incredibly sorry. I agree that talking with someone may help a lot. The sooner, the better.

The other thing it takes is time. A lot of it. I lost my dad long ago, and I can tell you that it never goes away, but it gets pushed into the background so you can move on with your life. There are always reminders. You will find the same with this. It will never completely go away, so the quality of your life will depend on your ability to give a positive meaning to this accident.

If you can find a way to use it as inspiration to improve your life and the lives of the people around you, then you'll go on to live an extraordinary life, and the world will be a much better place for having you in it. Many of the strongest, most loving, giving, and inspirational people became who they are because of tragedy in their lives. They gave that tragedy a meaning that inspired them to take action in their own lives and the lives of others. They made changes in themselves and inspired change in others. They brought new ideas into the world that made people's lives better.

My advice would be this; spend a little time talking it out and managing the grief, but don't spend too much time on it. You can't allow yourself to sit around feeling bad, hoping one day you will wake up and magically feel better. It doesn't work that way. What will make you feel better is to find a plan you truly believe in and take action. Move forward. Build a new future. Make it happen.

Maybe you start a charity for the family or a different cause you believe in. Maybe you look for ways to help prevent this from happening in the future, or you start a support group to help people in need after a tragedy in their lives.

Whatever the cause, look for something you can relate to and believe in. Take action immediately. Start moving your life forward and building something you care deeply about. That will give you hope for a better future and help you heal.

Right now you feel like you've taken something away from the world. You haven't. It wasn't your fault. Regardless, the feelings will remain that way until you can find a way to add value to people's lives in such a big way that you can feel great about the positive impact you're having. That is how you will heal. You need ideas for building a better future and a plan to make it happen.

You'll never feel like now is the right time to take action. It will always feel like you need more time, but more time spent dwelling on the past does not make you feel better, and it doesn't make the future brighter. Don't wait until you feel better to take action. Start now. Start thinking over what you can do to turn this into something positive. Healing doesn't just happen on its own. Healing will happen when you can replace painful thoughts with inspirational thoughts and when you can see you're making a positive impact on the world. Think of a plan, put it into action, and the healing with follow.

We hope you'll stick around here and update us on how you're doing.

Oh, one last note. You're dealing with some depression right now. Nothing in the world helps ease depression like exercise. Don't just sit around feeling bad. Move!. Go hiking or running. Lift weights. Keep moving. Sitting around idly will make you feel worse. Putting serious effort into regular exercise will make you feel 1,000 times better, and that in turn will help you move forward, take action, and heal.

After my father died, my mother joined a gym and went there religiously. To this day she'll tell you it saved her. Nothing else helped like exercise. Total health and happiness means you're healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually. Work on all three. Keep yourself busy. Idle time is not what you need right now. You need to take action.

My email is brett@truckingtruth.com - I'd be more than happy to talk anytime. Shoot me a message if you're feeling up to it and we'll jump on a call. Maybe we'll come up with an idea for you to work on, like a charity or support group, and I can give you the platform to make it happen.

Again, I'm very sorry this happened, but I'm 100% confident that you can find a way to make your life and the lives of the people around you so much better than they ever would have been otherwise. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it and make the future better with newfound wisdom and inspiration.

I hope you'll give me a shout or talk with someone who can help. Have faith. You'll get through this.

BK's Comment
member avatar

Chris, for you this is the day after the day before. Give us an update on how you are doing TODAY and then every day for a while. What happened to you could have happened to any of us, so we all empathize with you. It’s worth noting that one of the first things you did was to get on the forum and relate the experience. Consciously or subconsciously, this was your mind dealing with the trauma. The mind is very resilient and it wants to find ways to move past bad experiences. You are still processing what happened and will be for an indeterminate amount of time. You can see that lots of people care about you, so keep us posted.

Brett Aquila's Comment
member avatar

Chris, for you this is the day after the day before. Give us an update on how you are doing TODAY and then every day for a while. What happened to you could have happened to any of us, so we all empathize with you. It’s worth noting that one of the first things you did was to get on the forum and relate the experience. Consciously or subconsciously, this was your mind dealing with the trauma. The mind is very resilient and it wants to find ways to move past bad experiences. You are still processing what happened and will be for an indeterminate amount of time. You can see that lots of people care about you, so keep us posted.

Very well said BK!

G-Town's Comment
member avatar

Chris, for you this is the day after the day before. Give us an update on how you are doing TODAY and then every day for a while. What happened to you could have happened to any of us, so we all empathize with you. It’s worth noting that one of the first things you did was to get on the forum and relate the experience. Consciously or subconsciously, this was your mind dealing with the trauma. The mind is very resilient and it wants to find ways to move past bad experiences. You are still processing what happened and will be for an indeterminate amount of time. You can see that lots of people care about you, so keep us posted.

Profound advice Bruce.

Perhaps a different way of looking at this tragedy. Had they not hit the back of your trailer, it's possible they could have hit another vehicle, smaller vehicle and could have injured or killed others. You cannot be held responsible for their poor judgement and reckless driving. Please try not to blame yourself. You will get through this.

Steve L.'s Comment
member avatar
Had they not hit the back of your trailer, it's possible they could have hit another vehicle, smaller vehicle and could have injured or killed others.

This was exactly my first thought. Thank God your trailer prevented them from killing others.

Harvey C.'s Comment
member avatar

Chris, I saw your post within a minute of it being posted and didn't know what to say but have been praying for your healing and comfort and will continue to do so. You already have much great advice and I think if prayer is part of your life it can bring comfort to you over time.

I've seen several traffic fatalities and was trying to find how one of them might relate to your experience, but none seemed appropriate.

Several years ago I was present for a talk to Immaculée Ilibagiza who lost other members of her family due to genocide. She was in hiding huddled in a tiny bathroom with other women for a long time (months?) to avoid being killed also and she explained constantly. There was never any speaking between the women and she spent all of her time praying. One day when praying the Our Father she was struck by the instruction of forgiving others and it was a struggle for her to understand how she could forgive those who murdered her family. But, eventually, she did and she found great comfort in that. I was very moved by hearing her talk and the love that radiated from her and found her to be a great example in our everyday lives. Even though you did not cause this accident, I believe praying to ask for forgiveness for suffering of the family and also forgiving those that caused this accident will help. Brett's advice of exercise is a good one and perhaps pray even while going for a hike or long walk. I wish you peace, brother.

HOS:

Hours Of Service

HOS refers to the logbook hours of service regulations.
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